Rant #1,716: You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish

I first heard that saying years ago, when it was used as the title of an REO Speedwagon LP.

I have no idea if they cleverly made it up, or borrowed it from somewhere.

I recently heard it when I was at Yankee Stadium with my family.

They were doing one of those things to keep the fans occupied during breaks in the action, and they did "corny jokes" recited by the players themselves.

Anyway, it got me to thinking ... how much tuna fish have I eaten during my 59 years of life?

I don't know when the first tuna fish I ever had took place, but I look in today's lunch that was prepared by my wife, and look what I have today--tuna fish!

I remember having it all through school when I bagged my lunch--nearly every day of my schooling probably from first grade through undergraduate school.

I had it during summer camp, probably at least once or twice a week, and I have had it as a working person probably at least once a week my entire working life.

I also have it maybe once on the weekend, every weekend, including this past weekend.

And I am never tuna-fished out. I just love tuna fish.

Of course, we are talking about the tuna fish that is either in the classic metal container or the newer pouches, not fresh tuna fish.

I have had fresh tuna fish a few times, and it is good, but you know what? I prefer the tuna fish that is prepared in the can or in the pouch to the fresh version.

I guess I am just very used to something I have eaten pretty much my entire life.

And yes, I even ate it through the mercury poisoning scare, and I eat it now, whether the fish is "humanely caught" or not.

I feel tuna fish was put onto this earth for man to eat, so honestly, I don't care how it is caught, it all leads to the same can or pouch, anyway.

And today, we have so many varieties of tuna fish, not just packed in oil or packed in water.

We have different flavors of tuna fish, like chipotle or even tuna fish mixed with jalapenos.

There is sweet tuna fish, and tuna fish with heat.

It just gives me more choices of what to eat.

And I love the pouches. They are handy, easily stored, and kind of portion controlled, unless you are like me, a person who mixes three of them together--usually two different flavors--to get what I want.

You have to be careful with the pouches, because it is difficult to get the entire contents of the pouch out, but I have found it becomes a skill after awhile.

And if I am talking about tuna fish, I have to talk about mayonnaise. Mayo goes with tuna like Abbott goes with Costello, Laurel goes with Hardy, and Amos goes with Andy.

They were made for each other, and neither would be as good alone as they are as a team.

I mush that mayo in with the tuna fish, and boy, does it taste good!

Sometimes, I even really go nuts and mix in some relish, which gives it a sweeter taste.

And when it is on my sandwich, even if there is lettuce on the sandwich, I just love to put corn chips on the sandwich, and eat them all together.

I tell you, tuna fish, mayonnaise and corn chips go together as well as Moe, Larry and Curly did.

So there you have it about my relationship to tuna fish.

It was a match made in heaven.

Sometimes I think I am going to turn into a tuna fish, with all the tuna fish that I eat over the course of a year and during my 59 years on this earth.

But that would make me a cannibal, something that I am not.

I just love tuna fish, and remember, you can tune a piano, but you can't ...

I think you get it by now.