Rant #1,614: To Tell Or Not To Tell

For the opening Rant of the week, I have to ask two questions, one to the male readers of this site, and the other to the ladies.

First, to the males: have you ever been in a situation where a woman's blouse is so obviously open, and she doesn't know it, and if this situation happens, do you politely tell the lady that her shirt is open, or do you just let it go by and let someone else do it--or let the woman find out herself?

Second, to the ladies: have you ever been in a situation where a man's fly is so obviously open, and he doesn't know it, and if this situation happens, do you politely tell the guy that his fly is open, or do you just let it go by and let someone else do it--or let the man find out himself?

This is a situation I experienced on Friday, and putting it to the masses at work, I found that there was a slight difference of opinion, clearly divided by the sexes.

I went to the bank during lunchtime to put some money into my account at a particular bank. The bank was busy, and I patiently waited on line for the next teller to be open.

Finally, the teller was open, she summoned me, I told her what I wanted her to do, and everything was hunky dory, or so I thought.

I quite innocently noticed that one of the buttons on the teller's blouse was open, and very obviously open, showing regions of her body that I don't think she wanted to show.

After she did what I asked her to do and she gave me my bank receipt, I whispered to her, very politely, "Excuse me, your shirt is open," and I left the bank.

When I told her this, she stepped back from the window, grabbed at her shirt, found the offending button, and securely put it through the hole on her shirt.

No thank yous, no nothing.

(The photo I used with this story is of a Hispanic news anchor who had a wardrobe malfunction of her own, but the one the teller in question had was a bit worse than this, although I am sure that a multitude of people saw the anchorwoman's malfunction as opposed to the few that saw the teller's malfunction.)

I went back to work, related this scenario to some male co-workers, and they all pretty much said in unison that they would not have told her that her shirt was very obviously open.

They pretty much said that this was an area that they did not get into, and it was none of their business, even though the open area would be giving them a show, because it was so obviously open as this woman's shirt was.

I vehemently disagreed, and said if it was mentioned to the woman very discreetly, it was something that I thought I almost had a duty to do.

This question was posed to a woman, and she said that she would appreciate it if someone told her--"someone," including males--that her button was unbuttoned.

So there you go.

The guys basically added that a woman should tell a woman that her blouse is unhinged, not a man, but the funny thing was that a woman preceded me up to the window, and said nothing to the teller.

Perhaps her blouse was not open when the teller was waiting on this woman, but the woman obviously said nothing.

And no, my eyes were not transfixed on her bosom, and that is the only reason why I saw the wardrobe malfunction. I had already been to two banks, and wanted to get back to work pronto because I hadn't eaten lunch yet, so bosoms were not at top of mind at the time.

Now, what about the converse--would a woman tell a male that his fly was open?

I know that I would appreciate it if my fly popped open that someone would tell me, rather than me walking around all day with my pants open. I don't care who would tell me, but I would appreciate it.

But would you find it inappropriate or uncomfortable if you are female, and had to tell your male colleague that his pants were undone?

Look, I know that with women's clothes, you have to be careful and sure that the blouse being unbuttoned is the right call. Some women and some styles call for a lot of, let's say, leverage in this regard.

But in the case I was talking about, the blouse was so obviously open, and not in the right way, that I found that it was my obligation to tell a fellow human being that she was unhinged.

To my recollection, this is the second time that I have ever done this in my life. I seem to remember that years ago, when I worked in a real estate office, I told a female coworker that her blouse was open inappropriately, and I remember that she thanked me several times for letting her know. As for flies, yes, I have told other guys that their pants are open on a few occasions, and once or twice I have been told myself that my pants were open, and I thanked whoever it was that told me.

Now that I told you the latest story, what would you do in a similar situation, guys, and with a fly open, what would you ladies do?

True, in the world we live in, this is not that important, but it is really the eternal question that few speak about.

What would YOU do in such a situation?