Rant #4,037: One of Those Nights

Thank God in the heavens that this fiasco is O-V-E-R!!!!!!!

My daughter is married, the ceremony is over, the celebration is over, and I can move on to more important things in my life.

And yes, I use the word "fiasco" purposely ...

Because as far as I am concerned, that is exactly what it was.

There was a lot of bad karma with this affair, because my daughter absolutely refused to acknowledge me in any way, shape or form as the "father of the bride."

Nothing.

And it proved itself out at the reception, where I was simply a paying guest, and nothing more.

The whole thing started out poorly for us on Saturday--Halloween--as the GPS we used to supposedly direct us to the party site directed us to the wrong site.

We re-navigated--GPS is not always correct--and we still got there about an hour early, but I figured since we were there, we might as well go in, even if we were early.

No, not happening.

We were stopped at the gates by two Halloween dressed figures, who refused to let us in.

I told them I was the father of the bride, but they would not let us in.

Then, my daughter and her soon-to-be husband came out, and they again told us that we could not go in yet.

So we went back to the car, sat there for about 35 minutes, and then I told my wife that we were going in.

The door was locked, but I banged on the door enough that someone opened the door, and I reiterated that I was the father of the bride, and I was coming in.

Finally, they relented, and we came in from the cold early evening to a warmer place.

They had a table list of who was sitting where, and I saw what table we were at ...

But then, I also noticed that for further rubbing salt into the already open wound--

My first name was spelled wrong on the list.

L-A-W-R-E-N-C-E is my name, and they had it spelled L-A-W-E-R-E-N-C-E.

I saw my daughter's mother's husband, I questioned him about this, and he said it was just an oversight.

I felt that God was giving me a clear message that this was going to be one of those nights, one of those crazy old nights.

Finally, the festivities were ready to begin, and in 30-degree temperature, we were herded into the courtyard for an outdoor ceremony.

We were dressed for 50-60 degrees, not 30 degrees, so we begrudgingly went outside to view the ceremony, with our hoodies up over our heads.

The ceremony was officiated by some mail-order minister--a friend of my daughter, from what I understand--who thought he, himself, was funny.

His cleric's "costume" ...

One side of his outfit--which I presume was a Halloween outfit based on the wedding theme--was in full Jesus regalia, with a big cross on it like the Pope would wear.

The other side was the "Jewish" side, which was just so pathetic, as it appeared to be a talis and he wore long pais as part of his hair.

Yes, this was the marriage of a Jew and a non-Jew, but c'mon now ...

It was insulting to say the least.

But the best was yet to come.

My daughter came out looking like a street urchin from "The Little Rascals"/"Our Gang" movie series--kind of like "Butch"--and ...

The groom came out as ...

A bride!

Yes, he was wearing a bride outfit, and let me tell you, he is built like a whale, so it made him look like a whale ...

With a veil covering his face.

All the nuptials went on, the vows were read and agreed to, and finally it was time for the two to kiss.

The minister then said to my daughter, "It is now time for you to kiss ...

"Um ... the bride!"

The veil went up and the two kissed, to such laughter, that certainly was not coming from me.

I recorded the entire ceremony in total disbelief, and I sure it will be deleted in good time.

Was it a legally officiated marriage? Who knows, who really knows, but I have my doubts.

Is she legally married? To this moment, I really don't know.

Seems like a sham to me ... .

So that was over, and as frigid as we were, we finally were allowed to go inside the hall.

And when the appropriate times came where I could have had my dreams fulfilled--a call-out to me being the father of the bride, a father/daughter dance, etc.--my expectations were met with a resounding thud!

Nothing ...

Just like I expected.

But what you expect is made all the worse when the expectations come out to be true, and they were true as true could be.

Nothing.

(Also, I know that someone and his girlfriend left and went home because they were thoroughly insulted by the wedding ceremony and the seating placement, where they were not seated with us as they should have been.)

I even had to chastise my new son-in-law for not coming over to my table to introduce himself formally to our group, which included my family, my sister and her husband, and my friend and his wife.

What happened is that I had to go to the bathroom, and I passed him and my daughter in the hallway.

"You know, it would be nice if you came to my table," I said to him, with the new groom still dressed in his bridal gown.

"Well, there are a lot of people here, and I have a lot of places to go," he said to me.

"I am your new father-in-law, and since I am that, I am telling you to come to my table."

Yes, they finally did, but it was too little, too late.

I was greatly frustrated by everything that was going on around me, and I proceeded to introduce myself to as many tables as I could as "the actual father of the bride."

Some of the attendees clearly were not interested, but others congratulated me, and one even shook my hand.

Somewhere in between, I asked the husband of my ex if I could speak to him for a moment, and we went out into the hallway.

He is a really nice guy, a real mensch, to be honest with you, and I started to tell him about what I was feeling, and he pretty much agreed with me, saying he was more traditional like I was, but this is what my daughter wanted, so what could he do about it?

Although I just wanted to speak with him, a small crowd gathered around us, and I said a few times that his was a private conversation between myself and him, not everyone else. I didn't do it in a nasty way, but it was really a conversation between the two of us, not a whole crowd.

One woman who gathered around us grabbed her husband and said out loud, "I guess we are not wanted around here!" and stormed away from the group, and others left in a huff, even though the guy I was speaking to and I really had a nice conversation, even with everyone around us who were uninvited.

Some people were quite nice. In addition to my ex's husband, my former sister in law came right up to me, and we spoke for like 10 minutes, just catching up on things. I had not seen here in more than 30 years, and she is still quite a nice lady.

The groom's sister came up to me, too, and she was pleasant. She even forced me to dance with her.

My daughter's mother was cordial to me, and I was cordial to her.

Finally, the food came out, and then the cake, and once I finished my cake, we were outta there, for the long trek home, which I navigated pretty well, even in the pitch-black dark.

But I had not said goodbye to my daughter, so I went back into the venue looking for her. I found her, and she gave me nothing but a hug, no kiss, no saying "drive carefully," no nothing. 

And no, she never asked how I was doing physically. 

It was like I interrupted her.

And then we were on our way home.

We had on some of my favorite music, and I was in a talking mood, hopped up from the six of seven sodas I had which I used to keep myself awake.

I spoke about a variety of topics in the car with my son and wife, and one was about the prevailing attitude I was getting about my daughter's generation.

So many people at this affair told me that I can't be stubborn, this generation just does everything in a different way, and that I had to be accepting of it because that is the way it is.

I told my wife and son on the way home, "We Baby Boomers have just gone so soft. We are being told to accept ineptitude and stupidity. I am being asked to accept the fact that I was simply a 'paying guest' at my own daughter's wedding.

"Nope, I don't accept it. I know right from wrong, and their attitude was just so wrong."

And right now, I simply feel the exact same way.

But this affair, this nonsense, this marriage that I have my doubts about being 100-percent legal, is the affair that keeps on giving.

It took us about 90 minutes to get home, and when we arrived, I had to change the clocks, because we gained an hour of sleep over the weekend.

I did that as best I could, and went to sleep, woke up on Sunday, got dressed ...

And found that there was a big wad of gum stuck to my shoes, obviously spat out by one of the wedding attendees, because since this was a Halloween-themed affair, candy goody bags were given out, and you guessed it, gum was part of the bags' contents.

I couldn't even get the gum off my shoes entirely, but I did the best job I could.

It will stand as a constant reminder of Fright Night 2026, October 31, 2026, Halloween.

But it is over.

Thank God.

I wished my daughter well through a text, and who knows when I will see her again.

Six months, a year ...

Who knows.

After all, I was simply "a paying guest" at her wedding.

Believe me, if I decided not to go, no one would have missed me at all.

Even my daughter.

But heck, my daughter looked happy, so I hope she beats the odds, and this "marriage," or whatever you want to call it, works out for her and her husband.