Rant #3,874: I Can't Explain

In Monday's Rant, I spoke about responsibility, something we have instilled in our son, whether it be to your workplace, your team, or your family.

Evidently, this is not a universal concept, or at least it isn't a universal concept anymore in this bizarro, very sick world we live in now.

The situation i am going to describe to you is not a cataclysmic one; it didn't change the world in any way, but in its own way, it demonstrates the level of total dismay that our culture has fallen to.

In fact, I will bet that it isn't an isolated incident.

During my son's bowling match on Saturday morning, I saw a complete lack of responsibility exhibited not by one of the bowlers, but by the parent of one of the bowlers.

And I was later told that I am not the only one noticing this, not by a long shot.

What happened is that my son's team was bowling another team in what was a pretty enjoyable back and forth meeting that ended up being decided by a handful of pins.

My son's team won both games, but the other team seemed lackadaisical, completely out of it, and not acting as a team.

When someone did well--getting a strike or a spare--there were no high fives, and even in between everything, there was no talking on the team, no enthusiasm, no nothing.

My son's team only had three members present--the other team had all four members present, if not fully there, if you know what I mean--and it was a good time on our side.

Look, my son's team wasn't perfect, but they high-fived when it was appropriate, talked up the place as they usually do--my son is quiet, but his team gets him going--and the three of them had a good time, win or lose, at bowling.

The other team ...

I can't tell you how many times I or one of my son's team members had to tell them that it was their turn to bowl, with only maybe one member of that team not having to be told it was his or her turn on the lane.

This holds up the game, with an ebb and flow non existent, and it does impact the bowlers.

Anyway, my son's team squeaked by in the first game, winning by two pins, and we moved on to the next game of the match.

Both teams were competing--it was up and down the entire game--but again, the other team looked like they wanted to be somewhere else.

The teams approached the ninth frame of the second game, and it was still anyone's contest.

It was one of the other team member's time to bowl, and the person could not be found.

Finally, someone on the lane saw her, and everyone is telling her that it was her turn to bowl.

She had her jacket on, which was kind of curious, but being that Saturday morning was pretty cold, you couldn't really question it.

Anyway, when she was seen, she acted as if she was "caught" for doing something, and she did not return to the lane.

Her mother--who was nowhere to be seen during the entire match--finally emerges, and says, "Oh, I promised my daughter and someone else that I would take them out to lunch."

I heard the head of the league say, "Look, you just can't walk out in the middle, if you have somewhere to go you have to tell someone."

"Well, I promised them--"

And she and her daughter left, without a care in the world.

This fouled up the two teams, as the scoring had to be updated to reflect that the bowler wasn't there anymore.

And since she wasn't there, whatever she had bowled was negated, and her average, minus five points, was used to replace what she had bowled, likely costing her team the game.

This threw everyone for a loop, and I have to tell you, if I would have had my wits about me, I would have said something to the parent, but I didn't.

I spoke to the head of the league, and I said, "We were in the ninth frame ... 10 more minutes, and she would have been out of here."

"I know all about it," he said. "We have had problems with this woman for a long time. She does this all the time. When I saw her daughter with her jacket on, I kind of knew we were going to go through this again."

He told me some other things about the parent that I will not repeat here, but there is evidently something out of whack when you have someone 40-something-going-on-10 years of age as the parent of someone with special needs who needs some direction, and can't get it from her own mother.

Without going into detail, I have seen this mother from afar, and I have wondered about her.

Again, I won't get into specifics, but just let's say that this woman might have some problems of her own that she needs to deal with--

Just from, let's say, her own "presentation."

I even apologized to the head of the league for being so concerned, and he said to me, "No, you are right about it."

So, because of a parent who doesn't seem to know what she is doing, she adversely affected her daughter's team, showing absolutely no responsibility at all.

And suffice it to say, my son's team was finishing up bowling in the 10th frame--where they did well and won the game right in that frame, that is how close it was--and not one member of the other team was present to see if they won or lost.

They finished their game, and had all gotten up and left way before my son threw his 10th frame.

Ridiculous.

Irresponsible.

Idiotic.

Maybe it was a good thing I did not have my wits about me, because if I did, I might have said something to this woman that I would regret later.

Maybe not regret, but felt I could have said in another way--

Or better yet, not at all.

But as a former Little League coach myself, I mean, you just don't do things like this.

As a kid in Rochdale Village, we used to call people like this "flat leavers," and I think, 60 years after the fact, that term still applies.