Rant #3,255: Yakety Yak

Merry Christmas to everyone!

This year, as you well know, my holiday season has been a complete downer, but I am hoping that everyone else is having a joyous season.

Me, I am laying in my bed all day, and I just have to wait this wretched thing out.

I am not sleeping very well, and the pills I am taking are making me a bit loopy.

I speak in my sleep, and I mean really speak, keeping my wife up until I can fully doze off.

I sing, I say phrases, I reassure myself that I will be better ... I repeat my name, my birthdate and my current address ... and I tell my wife to go to sleep, even though she can't possibly do so when I am talking up a storm.

The other night, I was talking aimlessly as if we were on a cruise. I thought we were in a cabin and that we were literally asea...

But alas, we were simply in the room, and my dream was just that.

I can't contain myself in the evening. I am so uncomfortable that I guess the only way to comfort myself is to verbalize whatever I am dreaming.

It is weird, because I am not fully asleep, I hear myself talking, but I am powerless to stop it.

The other night, I know I told myself to whisper, so as not to disturb my wife, and I still spoke, but in a whisper.

Last night, I did not sleep at all.

In fact, i spoke to God.

I don't remember everything I said, but I asked for help during this terrible period in my life.

I was crying all over the place, and i kept both my wife and son up during the night.

I vow that I am going to be OK.

I am a little depressed, but I look at my wife and son, and I immediately snap out of it.

I have to get better for both them and me.

And now we have New Year's Eve and the New Year ahead if us, and I can't wait!

Getting out of the spider web that 2023 turned into is another major goal of mine, and the new year is my beacon of light, the year I vow to put the entirety of 2023 behind me get better.

Stay with me here.

I don't know when I will be writing here again, as my usual high energy level is pretty low right now.

But at least the spark is there, so I am sure I will pop in here again soon.