Rant #3,108: Nothing From Nothing

How was your Easter and continuing Passover holidays?

Mine were inconsequential.

We did what we did, and that was pretty much about it.

I continue to eat matzoh and yes, I did have a slight bout of matzoh stomach this year, but I seem to be all clear of that now …

But with a couple more days to the holiday, who knows?

Now it is Monday, tax day is approaching for those who have not yet taken the plunge, and it is once again time to check out my Yahoo News Feed, the most dependable source of news on the entire Internet.

Let’s see …

“Samantha Hooper Wore a Swimsuit So Tiny She Described It As a ‘Friendship Bracelet’”

“Halle Berry Drinking Wine While Naked On Her Balcony Is a Weekend Mood.”

And these two were near the top of my newsfeed.

I have absolutely no idea who Samantha Hooper is, but Halle Berry … I mean, c’mon, isn’t it about time to grow up?

Further down …

“Heidi Klum Celebrated Easter Topless At the Pool”

Ditto what I said about Berry when talking about Klum. Don’t these ladies, at their vary “advanced” ages, know better by now?

Apparently not.

No Elizabeth Hurley sightings this time around … but I do see that yesterday she probably would have been in my news feed under this headline:

“Elizabeth Hurley Stuns At a Beach Resort For a New Announcement,” which evidently was an announcement that her new bikini and robe that she was showing off in the photos accompanying the news article were now available at her website.

She, like Berry and Klum, should probably know better, but when you are making millions of dollars every year flashing your figure at such “advanced” ages, I guess you have a right to sell whatever to the public, who can’t possibly look as good as you do but who think they can.

And no, I still have no idea who Samantha Hooper is … maybe it is time to check her out, figuratively and literally.

Just so we all know, she seems to be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who wears bikini tops too small for her frame, which seems to be a prerequisite to splash yourself all over the Internet when modeling next to nothing, again figuratively and literally.

She made such a dent in my brain with her news item that I guarantee if you ask me a month or two from now who she is, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you a thing about her.

And just a note of trivia: do you know how the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue began its iconic history?

It was actually a rip-off of a similar idea used by the late, lamented Sports Magazine.

In the early to mid 1960s, Sport Magazine began showing the latest athletic swimwear that athletes used when they were swimming competitively, so there were no bikinis, just one-piece items that were specifically made for swimmers who participated in the Olympics and other swimming meets—men and women, but the way.

Sports Illustrated did the same thing for a while, but when they found that these issues were outselling their regular issues—even with modest flesh exposed—they decided to take the whole idea one step further, and really, the rest is history.

So if Sport Magazine would have had the vision to take this whole idea beyond sports, they would have survived, and we would be talking about the Sports Magazine Swimsuit Issue.

But being purer to sports than Sports Illustrated was, they didn’t do what they could have done, and they actually bit the dust several years ago.

(And yes, I do believe much later on, they did actually try to rival Sports Illustrated with their own bikini-laden swimsuit issue, but it was too little, to late.)

True story, but it is funny that in the times we live in, Sports Illustrated can prosper with its Swimsuit Issue, but a magazine like Playboy—which showed you pretty much everything—cannot.

Playboy has an online presence, but that is pretty much it nowadays, where it makes its main money off its iconic rabbit logo and not off much else.

Just another aside on Easter Monday.

You won’t get any of this information anywhere else but here.

Aren’t you happy that you read today’s Blog entry?

See you tomorrow, “same Bat time, same Bat channel.”