Rant #3,106: You Are What You Eat

We had our first Seder of Passover last night, and even thought it was small, it was a very good one.

We read something that I had prepared to read, we spoke about the holiday in general, and what it means to the Jewish people, we spoke about how matzoh signifies the holiday by its mere presence on our Passover table, and we recited “The Four Questions” and what they mean to this special holiday.

We did it all, and then we ate our festive meal.

Passover is just about my favorite Jewish holiday, and it is one of my favorite holidays period.

The holiday tells the story about perseverance under the worst of circumstances, and also allows participants to really feel like good about who they are throughout the holiday.

And a great part of the holiday is the food … and the food is so good, but you have to watch yourself, because if you eat too much, you could get the affliction that Dr. Larry has called for generations “Matzoh Stomach,” a situation where you feel like your stomach is going to explode.

As long as you don’t go overboard, you should be fine … but if not …

You have not felt real, physical bloat until you have a case of Matzoh Stomach.

Take it from me, as a person who has had it here and there since my childhood during this holiday, it isn’t pretty.

But beyond that, what are some of the favorite foods that one can have—Kosher for Passover, which is different than simply kosher—during this holiday?

Let’s look at two of my favorite foods to eat during Passover.

They actually add to what you already have, and you wouldn’t necessarily eat them as they are, but you could if you wanted to.

Here is what I said in Rant #2,114, April 2, 2018, about one of my favorite foods to eat during Passover.

“You have not lived until you have matzoh smeared with Temp Tee Cream Cheese.

No, sorry, Philadelphia Cream Cheese just won't do on matzoh during Passover, and I don't think it is Kosher for Passover like Temp Tee is.

Anyway, you have matzoh and Temp Tee Cream Cheese for breakfast on Passover mornings, and you really are in breakfast heaven.

It just goes so good with a glass of milk.

I will probably mix it up with white fish salad spread--which I also found in a Kosher for Passover version this weekend--which is almost equally as good as having Temp Tee cream cheese on matzoh, but it still cannot beat Temp Tee.

Temp Tee is made by Breakstone--famous for its cottage cheese--and it is one of those uniquely New York food items that is so akin to the population here, one of the few foods that has pretty much kept its regional status although it is known probably throughout the country.

The one similar food that I can think of off the top of my head is Wise Potato Chips, also akin to this area, but widely known outside of it.

Temp Tee just has the right smoothness to put on a piece of matzoh, as it is whipped cream cheese. Philadelphia also has a whipped cream cheese, but while it is spreadable on a piece of matzoh, it is not as light and creamy as Temp Tee is.

And when Passover is over, or you are not of the Jewish persuasion, get a real, bagel store bagel and spread it on your bagel--there is nothing better.

In the old days, we would spread Temp Tee on our matzoh and add some salt to it, but I haven't done that in decades. It isn't healthy and I don't use salt for anything nowadays, although I am sure many people still do this.

That was then, this is now, and all I need is matzoh and Temp Tee cream cheese to get me going during Passover mornings.”

And that isn’t it.

Here is something else I said about another one of my favorite foods to eat during Passover, from Rant #2,116, April 4, 2018.

“But if I want something a little different in my milk, you cannot--and I mean, you absolutely cannot--beat Fox's U-Bet Chocolate Syrup to make chocolate milk.

I mean, even the non-Kosher for Passover U-Bet is far and away better as a chocolate syrup than anything else, in my humble opinion, but when it is the Kosher for Passover U-Bet, watch out!

For the holiday, U-Bet--made by the same people who give us Gold's Horseradish, another Passover and non-Passover delicacy--uses real sugar, rather than high-fructose corn syrup, for sweetness, and there is a tremendous difference. People actually hoard Kosher for Passover U-Bet--I have two bottles of it in the fridge right now--and there is a good reason why.

U-Bet is thick as can be to begin with, and when you squeeze it into a glass, it oozes out of the plastic bottle so nice and slow, building up the moment.

Anticipation ... yes, that is the selling point of Heinz Ketchup, but it can also be a big selling point of U-Bet.

Pour milk into the same glass and with a little stirring, you get the best chocolate milk on the planet. The sugar, rather than the corn syrup, doesn't make it any sweeter, it just makes it more heavenly, more like real chocolate syrup should be, and was at one time before high-fructose corn syrup, cheaper than using sugar, became the norm.

And let me tell you, U-Bet's Kosher for Passover Vanilla Syrup is also quite good, although given the choice, I would rather put the chocolate syrup into my glass of milk than the vanilla syrup.

When you look for Kosher for Passover Fox's U-Bet, look for a slightly different bottle this year. The old photograph of the little girl (the company has no idea who this girl is) has been replaced by a drawing of a little girl, the bottle clearly says "Kosher for Passover," and the ingredients list on the back of the bottle includes sugar.”

Yes, in 2018, I must have really been into the Passover foods, and I actually could have gone on and on about Kosher For Passover Coca-Cola and gefilte fish and tuna fish, but I guess I am going to stop right where I am.

Heck, even when I merely think about all of these things, I feel a tinge of Matzoh Stomach, and no, I don’t want to go there right now.

I mean, I have to last seven more days until this holiday runs it course, so no, I simply cannot go there now.

Way too early.