Classic Rant #1,105 (December 17, 2013): Everyone Needs "Friends"

Through my 56 years, I have had many, many friends, people I could count on, people who I liked being with.

Friends change over the years. Oftentimes, friends when you are a kid aren't your friends as you get older.

Life-long friends are rare, but some people do have friends that they have known since seemingly their own get-go.

Sometimes friends fade away, only to return later on into your life.

And then there are "Friends."

"Friends," with the quotation marks, are people who you hook up with on Facebook.

Sometimes they are traditional friends, as described above, and you simply communicate--and keep up your friendship--through the social network.

But more than likely, Facebook "friends" are people you have never--and will never--meet, people who perhaps share your viewpoint or "like" what you have to say.

One of my "friends"--a very nice lady from my old neighborhood who I did not know way back when but have gotten to know through Facebook--wrote an interesting post the other day about a Tanzanian person (I think that is where the person came from, if memory serves me correctly) who was trying to "friend" her.

It was a funny post, but a sad one too.

So many people on Facebook reach out to others, trying to become their "friends" for really no other reason than to accumulate as many "friends" as possible.

Facebook actually has restrictions on such practices, and occasionally, they will ban people who have reached out to too many people to be "friends."

My reply was that I would take the Tanzanian any day over the people who try to "friend" me: basically young girls with bustlines that you would not believe.

No, don't think for a second that I really believe that the people trying to "friend" me are actually 16-year-old girls who have trouble keeping their upper portions in their shirts. They are probably 50-year-old men who scout out such photos throughout the Internet and misrepresent themselves.

But I cannot believe how many of these requests I get every week.

The photos are of these young, pretty girls that are sprouting out all over.

I reject them in a minute. Even if they are legitimate, why would a 16-year-old girl want to friend a balding 56-year-old anyway?

I also used to get a "friend" request periodically from another person who had a foot fetish. I got his request, went onto his Facebook page, and it was quite obvious what his interests were.

Everybody on Facebook gets strange "friends" requests, I am afraid, and my personal rule is that if I don't know the name--or at least if I don't have several common friends with the person--I just drop them immediately.

But when it comes to busty 16-year-old girls or guys with foot fetishes, I drop them like lead sinkers.

Right now, using this practice, I have a pretty good friends list. I get some nice posts, make some good ones, too, and everything is copacetic.

But as sure as I am sitting here, I guarantee you that this week, another "sweet young thing" will try to friend me, and I will continue to cut her/him/it off at the pass.

Heck, I am way too old to be scammed like this.

Give me the Tanzanian, please!