Classic Rant #1,050 (September 26, 2013): Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow

I am not much for haircuts.

Evidently, this has always been the case, or so I have been told.

My mother has told me time and time again that when I was born, I had not only a full head of hair, but way too much hair.

This was 1957. I had to get a haircut almost immediately, or people would have thought I was a girl.

As a little kid, I could not sit still in a barber's chair, so my mother has told me that she had to take me to a special barber on Main Street in Flushing, New York, one that specialized in "problem" kids.

I vaguely remember being put in something that resembled a horse and being strapped down into it.

As I got older, I didn't need a special barber, but I still hated to go to get my hair cut.

When we lived in Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, I had something of a weird hairline at the time, and I remember one time, one barber called another barber over to see it, and soon the whole place stopped what it was doing to look at my hairline.

As I got older, my hairline kind of caught up with my regular growing pattern, and this was the 1970s, so I let my hair grow a bit longer. Never long long, but you could get away with more on your head back then.

And that was good, because I didn't have to go to the barber that much, and this pretty much lasted through high school and college, when we had moved from Queens to Long Island.

My hair was good until about 1981, when it started to come out.

I kind of knew it would. My father is bald, all my uncles are bald ... although my grandfathers both had hair, I kind of knew that mine wouldn't last, and it didn't.

And now, well, I don't have too much on top.

So what do I do when I need a haircut, like right now, where I need a barber to take off whatever I have on top?

I found a cheap barber. It is only $5 a haircut, and it is some operation.

They have about 15 barbers going all at once, and you can get in and out of there in less than 10 minutes most of the time.

I bring my son there too.

They do a good job. I mean, I don't really need anything that great, do I? I have nothing on top, just trim what I have and make the back straight.

My son, who happily has a full head of hair, needs something more, and they seem to do a fine job on his hair.

So right now, I am satisfied with where I go.

In and out quickly.

But for some reason, the spectre of the olden days is still there, and let me tell you, I still hate to get a haircut.

It's just me, I know, but I really haven't changed that much from the kid with the weird hairline from way back when.

It's just that that hairline has now moved up my head, and yes, down my back.

Hair today, gone tomorrow.