Classic Rant #820 (October 10, 2012): You Don't Have To Be Jewish, But ...

Did you see the other day that Esquire magazine named actress Mila Kunis as “the sexiest woman alive”?

I don’t know if I agree.

She does have beautiful eyes, and since she’s Jewish, that is another feather in her cap, at least in my book.

There haven’t been very many Jews that have been listed as “sexiest woman” in any generation.

That is not to say that Jewish women don’t deserve the honor. They most certainly do.

But I guess that it’s another affirmation that the Jews are just like everyone else.

We are fat and skinny, bald and full of hair, stupid and smart, and ugly and yes, incredibly sexy.

Just like everyone else.

I had to think about the goddesses that the Jewish community has produced over the years.

Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor were Jews, but they converted due to their husbands’ wishes. They never renounced their Jewishness, so the continued to be Jews to their dying days.

Sultry singer Abbe Lane was another Jewish sexpot, who they tried to market as being “exotic” rather than Jewish.

Before I found out she was Jewish, I could have sworn she was Hispanic. She was a beautiful woman, one who is pretty much forgotten since Johnny Carson’s “Tonight” Show went off the air.

I remember in the late 1960s-early 1970s, Lainie Kazan was supposed to be the next “big” thing, a combination of Barbara Streisand and Raquel Welch.

She had that exotic look, and heck, she did something that many other of the women I mentioned would never do: she took it all off for Playboy.

And yes, she had the goods way back when, but little else.

She never rose to the heights of a Streisand nor a Welch, and actually, as she put on lots of weight, became a better actress than singer.

There are a number of current actresses besides Kunis who fit the bill.

One is Scarlett Johansson, whose mother, I believe, is Jewish, is one. She accepts her Jewishness, even if she doesn’t necessarily practice it.

I think Bette Midler was at one time thought to be sexy, although I never found her to be that.

But that gets me back to this: who do I find to be the sexiest woman alive right now?

Well, I find my wife to be incredibly sexy, but if you are looking at actresses, well, I’ll go for the goy:

Salma Hayek, if you please.