Rant #2,074: Cut the Cake

Yesterday, at about 5:15 p.m. or so, I went through a minor operation that took about two seconds for the doctor to accomplish, but might save me a world of worry.

I had a growth taken off my nose, a very unnoticeable growth to the outside, but very known to me.

It was skin colored, grew right below the nose piece of my glasses, and has been growing off and on for at least the past few months.

It was so unnoticeable that even my wife didn't know it was there until about a week ago, when it grew thicker on the base of my nose.

I have had it for a slight while, but usually, it fell off over time, but it would always grow back.

My regular doctor checked it out, and he said it was nothing more than a skin tag in a kind of bad place.

So I had a dermatologist look at it yesterday, and he said that he would take it off, it would go to the lab, and it would be checked out to see if there was anything there that would cause concern.

I have to be careful, because my mother had some type of skin cancer a few years back, and with quick treatment, she never had to worry about it again.

I have had skin growths for years, and a few times I have had such very small growths removed on my cheeks.

They came out to be nothing more than skin tags or warts on that area of my body, nothing more, and they were removed, and that was that.

Hopefully, that will be the story with this growth, but we shall see in about two weeks.

Anybody that knows me knows that while I do go swimming in the summer, I do use sunscreen, and while I am out of the pool, I cover myself up pretty well with lots of towels and a T-shirt on the upper part of my body.

But the nose might be the most susceptible place on your body to get a bad burn, because it is so prominent on your face.

I put sunscreen on it too, but I don't bathe it in sunscreen, and maybe that is where the problem is if this thing is more than I think it is.

Anyway, yes, the procedure hurt, and it was accompanied by a procedure to get rid of some other unsightly "bumps" on my head that I had pointed out the doctor to look at.

Three other places were looked at, and he put something on it that hurt a bit, but he said that within about two weeks, each one of these things that he treated would fall off as scabs.

I will take his word for it.

The thought also passed my mind that these "things" are the result of worry.

Everybody manifests stress in different ways, and maybe, with all the stress I have been under, that my stress has been manifested in these skin things turning up on me.

Who knows?

Hopefully, everything will be fine with me, and I can move on from this stuff.

I know that my regular doctor said that some people are simply prone to these things, and maybe I am too.

The only good thing is that they really aren't noticeable to anybody but me, so they don't stand out too much, and people don't fixate on them when they look at me.

They are so small, if anything, maybe they look like a simple pimple.

I am hoping that these things are nothing, just things that have to be taken care of when necessary.

Look, I have too much on my plate already; I don't need anything else, because my plate is ready to fall over from the weight or my worries ... why add to it?

What, me worry?

You bet I do!

Classic Rant #726 (April 27, 2012): 55

Yes, "55" is my simple title for today's Rant.

Why, you may ask?

Sure, 55 mph is the legal speed limit to drive in many states, and it was an integral part of Sammy Hagar's past hit, "I Can't Drive 55."

But to me, it is a bit more important.

Tomorrow, I turn 55 years of age.

I can't believe where all the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday, I was playing in the dirt and mud with my friends.

Today, I am playing in the electronic dirt and mud with my friends, so I guess things haven't changed that much.

In 1957, the Chevy was a very popular car, Elvis was still the top singing star, and "I Love Lucy" was just about off the air.

The Yankees and Braves were in the World Series, and the Braves beat the Bronx Bombers. The Dodgers and Giants played their last home games in New York.

The word "files" related to things stored away in cabinets, and computers were humongous machines that only were available for businesses that could afford them.

Dwight D. Eisenhower was president, and Barack Obama wasn't even born yet.

I  can't believe where all the time has gone.

I was born in Brooklyn, moved to Kew Gardens Hills, Queens, very early on in my life, moved to Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, when I was seven, and moved to Long Island when I was 14.

I have been married twice, the second time far and away the best time, and I have two kids, 16 and 23. My wife (a fellow former Queens-ite) and I will be married 19 years in June.

It has been an amazing ride. I have seen everything from those horrible assassinations in the 1960s to moon flight. I have grown up in the best time to grow up, when we moved ahead so much in our everyday lives to the point we are at now.

It isn't all fun. The world continues to be a very unsettled place, and yes, you do have to look over your shoulder time and time again.

But all in all, it's been a very fun ride.

I wish I still had my hair, my belly is a little too round, but even though I'm just about 55, I haven't changed much.

Not only do people say that I look relatively the same as I did way back when (less the hair), but I don't think my mindset has changed at all in my 55 years.

I still believe family is our No. 1 priority, and nothing, and I mean nothing, stands in the way of family, I don't care what it is.

Health is also important, and the same thing I said for family goes for health too. I have had a few episodes during the past few years to know that health, and family, really are the most important things in life. It seems without one, you can't do the other.

So, tomorrow, on April 28, I will celebrate my birthday in relatively good health and with my family. I will probably watch the Knicks in the NBA playoffs against the Heat in the afternoon, go out to dinner in the evening, and relax for just about the entire day.

The best present? That tomorrow is a Saturday--no work, just fun.

So happy birthday to me, and everyone else born on April 28 (Ann-Margret, are you there?), and, I hope there are many more birthdays to come.

Rant #2,073: I Believe In Music

Yes, I really do, but no, the Grammy Awards do not represent anything I enjoy about pop music.

The show, which was once a fun exercise to watch, is now probably one of the most painful shows to watch, because it celebrates music that is generally garbage, acts that don't deserve the accolades they are getting, and, of course, the show has a political bent that all awards shows now have that simply turns most of the population off.

And as I say that, this year's Grammy Awards came in with the lowest rating it has ever gotten.

You simply can't pat yourself on the back and then, with one fell swoop, constantly knock somebody else.

Like I have said over the over, "Shut up and sing" ... but please, the music is just so absolutely awful that maybe I should simply say "Shut up" period.

"Nothing from nothing is nothing," somebody once sang, and that is what you have on this show.

Nothing ... except if you still cannot accept the fact that your gal lost the election.

Yes, she made an appearance on the show, and if that is the best that this so-entitled group can muster up, then it just demonstrates how completely misguided these wannabes really are.

But I have a respite from all of this non-class and non-musicianship, and it is my own record collection.

People say that they can really gauge where a person was, is and will be by simply looking at his or her record collection and seeing what they have liked over the years, and with my collection, I do think you would be really surprised at the stuff that I have collected over 50-plus years of doing this.

Sure, I have the popular stuff, the stuff that sold millions and millions of copies, like the entire Beatles record catalog of LPs that they put out during their period as the best-selling band in the world, the 1964-1971 years, which, quite frankly, are my years of concentration in my collection, although I do love music from both before those years and after those years too.

I am also in the process of collecting as many Beatles' singles as my bank account can muster. I have a lot already, but I don't have them all, which is my goal, to collect all of them released in the U.S. with picture sleeves.

I also have the stuff that kind of fell through the cracks, stuff that I liked but music that maybe isn't to everyone's taste. Heck, I was a big fan of Nick Lowe during the day, and "Cruel To Be Kind" aside, can anyone name another one of his songs simply from memory? I can, but can anyone else?

I have a virtual A--the Association--to Z--the Zombies in my collection, and with it, although most of the collection is rock and roll, I do have Judy Garland and Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra in there too.

I also have a wealth of comedy albums, including a whole stash of Bill Cosby LPs--yes, he was funny way back when--Allan Sherman, yes, even Woody Allen, and so much more.

I have Broadway albums and movie soundtracks, and I have old radio shows on vinyl, too.

And I have spoken word, for more pensive moments.

I have male performers, female performers and those who pushed androgyny to its limits, like early 1970s David Bowie.

And yes, I do have political stuff, everything from the Clash to U2, to Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce.

Every once in a while, something forces me to go back to my collection and re-examine an artist's work. I remember a few months ago, I decided to actually digitally record everything I had on Gary Lewis and the Playboys.

It was a fun exercise, and along with the obvious hits that we all know--like "This Diamond Ring" and "Green Grass"--I found a while load of gems that I really didn't know that well that after examination, I do now.

At for the current moment, I am looking back at the career of the Bangles, a girl group that I really enjoyed during their heyday 30 or more years ago.

I really liked the GoGos too, but I really, really liked the Bangles.

I think they were a step up on the GoGos in musicianship, songs and yes, even looks (please don't cite me for sexual harassment now).

But the music was the big selling point, and whether you are talking about "Walk Like an Egyptian" or "Walking Down Your Street," these ladies really had it going.

And the good thing is that they are still around, still trying to crank out the next "Eternal Flame."

So the Grammys can whine and whine some more and show how "with it" they are, but sorry, to this music lover, the music they celebrate as the best is really cut-rate junk, and if even I ever have any doubts about that, all I have to do is go to my local neighborhood record collection and see, once and for all, exactly what is good, what was good, and what will always be good.

Music certainly is in the ear of the beholder, and for this guy, I will even take the 1910 Fruitgum Company over the trash that is being portrayed as "music" today.

You don't have to agree with me on any of this, but you can't disagree with my collection of about 10,000 LPs, singles, and even my CD and cassette collection.

I believe in music. I really do.

Classic Rant #725 (April 26, 2012): 1960's Kitsch

Yesterday, I spoke about the 1960s continuing to be hot in the 2000s, related to the Beatles' concert film opening next month.

Well, not everything was good in the 1960s.

Let's be honest about it. For every good thing, like the Beatles, there were bad things, like the assassinations I touched on yesterday, the Vietnam War and ...

The Doodletown Pipers.

With all of its creativity, the 1960s also was a time of sameness. Sure, you had the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and all the long-haired groups dominating the airwaves and the charts, but you also had plenty of acts that your mom and dad--and your grandparents--could love too, like Petula Clark and Tom Jones ...

And Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Al Martino, Ed Ames and others seemingly from a different time were having hit records.

Vocal groups were still popular,and larger consortiums coming out of the folk movement, such as the New Christy Minstrels, were selling tons of records.

Muzak was still popular, and sure, your grandma might not listen to the latest hits on WABC, but she might listen to a muzak version on her easy listening station.

And that's where the Doodletown Pipers come in. Covering the most popular easy listening songs of the day in their muzak style, the Pipers--with more than a dozen members--became a way for the oldsters to know the songs without being completely hip.

With the presentation that didn't veer too far away from the Lawrence Welk/Mitch Miller school, the Pipers featured fresh-faced kids, both black and white, wearing basically the same outfits and singing pop tunes nicely.
And they all had nice teeth.

The Pipers were extremely popular in the late 1960s, with their own summer replacement show--did CBS really thing kids would watch this?--and constant appearances on shows like The Dean Martin Show and other variety shows.

They also played Las Vegas, and actually stayed together for about five or six years into the early 1970s. Their popularity never transferred over to records, and, thus, their LPs and singles aren't easily found.

On my Yahoo Group site Albumania! (http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/albumania/), I have put up the first five songs from the only LP that I have from them, the absolutely unlistenable "Sing-Along '67, and next week, I will put up the rest.

The first five songs off this LP--I believe that this was the second of their three albums--pretty much tell you right there, what this group was all about. As lively as lint, they turn easy listening tunes like "Music to Watch Girls By" and "Born Free" into some of the most "muzakian" tunes that could be imagined. Whatever oomph they have pretty much falls flat, as do the arrangements.

Certainly, music to put you to sleep ... with a thud.

When the Pipers went their separate ways, several of them went into various areas of show business, as background singers, producers and the like.

But such as what happened with the New Christy Minstrels--with Barry McGuire being among the standouts--there was one member of the Pipers that clearly stood out from the rest, and while her fame was short-lived, she certainly made a name for herself in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Teresa Graves, pictured near the center in the group photo on the cover of the LP, moved on to "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In," where she displyed her comedic, singin and "other" talents on TV's No. 1 show. She became so popular that she starred in the short-lived "Get Christy Love," then became a Jehovah's Witness and pretty much dropped out of show business. She died in a house fire some
years ago.

But for that brief moment, she--and the other Doodletown Pipers--was one of the hotter, and safer acts around.

Why do I have this LP in my collection?

The kitsch factor is certainly there--could you imagine rap hits done in this style today?--and I do have that love for anything from my youth.

And yes, I was a big fan of Teresa Graves.

So take a listen, come back next week for the second side of this atrocity, and let me know what you think.

And as a bonus, I have given you one of their later singles. 

Rant #2,072: Monday, Monday

Yes, it is Monday, January 29, the 29th day of the year.

It is also Monday, so the work week is beginning.

For me, the work week and the job search week begins anew today.

Exciting, I know.

But for many other people--millions of people not just here in the U.S., but around the world--the countdown continues to the Super Bowl, being held this coming Sunday, February 4, in Minnesota, as the New England Patriots take on the Philadelphia Eagles.

I don't know if you noticed this past weekend was a very busy one in retail areas.

I was on Hempstead Turnpike, one of the densest retail areas on Long Island, this past weekend, and let me tell you, it was row to row cars and people on top of people.

I did my family's food shopping on Friday night after work, and I remember thinking to myself that I had never seen so many people in the supermarket on a Friday night.

It extended over to Saturday night, when I went back to Hempstead Turnpike to pick up some food for dinner.

Every place was packed, and one food venue--Boston Market--was absolutely wall to wall people, with a line out the door.

I asked myself why, and my wife came up with a valid answer: "Next week is the Super Bowl, and people are doing their shopping this weekend, because next week, they are going to parties and things like that, so they are getting the shopping out of the way now."

And you know what? I think she was right in her summation of all of this.

People have made the Super Bowl into an unofficial holiday, even thought most people involved in this really aren't football fans.

The Super Bowl signals party time, and who can resist a good party?

In fact, my family is going to a party next weekend, too, on the Saturday just prior to the Super Bowl, but it has nothing to do with the Big Game (as it is widely known because you can't really use the phrase "Super Bowl" without permission of the NFL)--one of our dear friends is celebrating his 60th birthday, and we are going to his party.

Anyway, as you know if you are a regular reader of this blog, I do not like football, don't watch it, and could care less about who wins this contest.

Next weekend will be special to me because of my friend's party, and for no other reason.

I haven't liked football since the early to mid 1970s, when both New York teams--the Jets and the Giants--left New York to play in New Jersey, so while I understand the game, I simply don't pay attention to it anymore.

Actually, to me, this week is even more special because pitchers and catchers report to Florida and Arizona for baseball's spring training.

Now, that is a big deal, to me at least.

The Super Bowl? Nothing but a time for pulchritude, a time for people who have no clue who is even participating the Big Game to all of a sudden become football fans, and a time where I have to look for alternative programming to keep myself occupied.

I know I will "touch down" on something.

Classic Rant #724 (April 25, 2012): The 1960s Forever

The world seemingly can't get enough of the Beatles.

Word is that a lost Beatles concert film from 1964 will be released to theaters nationwide on May 17 and May 22.

"The Beatles: The Lost Concert" was recorded at the Washington State Coliseum on Feb. 11, 1964, or just two days after they appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

The concert was their first full-length concert in the United States, and they were top billed among several other pop stars of the time, including Tommy Roe and the Chiffons.

The footage will be augmented with new interviews featuring, among others, Chuck Berry, one of the Fab Four's major influences.

Interest in the 1960s has never wained, it seems. The Beach Boys have just released their first new single in 20 years with an album to come, and Brian Wilson is once again the driving force behind the group.

The world mourns the passing of Dick Clark, who brought rock and roll into our living rooms with shows like "American Bandstand" and "Where the Action Is."

When Davy Jones died, it seemed that the world also mourned, and interest in the Monkees picked up once again.

A mere footnote from the era, Jonathan Frid of "Dark Shadows" fame, passes away just before a new film based on the series is ready to be released.

It goes on and on and on and on.

The fascination with this decade is incredible.

There were so many milestones during this decade that set the tone for our lives 50 years after the fact that it is truly the most incredible decade at least of the 20th century, if not of all modern times.

Having been a Baby Boomer during that decade, I can tell you that so many things were jam packed into that 10-year period--from the lows of the JFK, RFK and MLK assassinations to the highs of the Apollo space program landing on the moon--that it is simply incredible that the decade only "lasted" 10 years.

So much happened in just that span that you would have sworn that it was more than 10 years.

All I have to say about the continued fascination with the 1960s is "Groovy."

That was a decade that had to be lived in to be understood, and even though I was there, I don't know if  I fully get it yet.

I went from a toddler to a teenager during that span, and it truly was an incredible ride.

And the Beatles helped us along, coming on our scene right after the JFK assassination.

So again, this fascination is right on--what other decade could spur such continued study as the 1960s have produced?

It's never ending, isn't it?

Rant #2,071: Think

Just some random thoughts today, since it is a Friday and I feel all burnt out at this time during the week ...

Reba McEntire is the new Colonel Sanders in the Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials ... 

Is this just a fun takeoff on the Colonel, who has been portrayed by male-only comics, wrestlers and others, or is KFC making a political statement about acceptance?

I think it is the former, but if it is the latter, I wonder why the company feels it has to do this?

Larry Nassar given many lifetimes behind bars for his heinous acts against young female gymnasts ...

In my opinion, he actually got off pretty lightly, but aren't the parents of these girls also culpable in sort of a third-person way, because they allowed their children to go in alone with this monster?

I think that they are. Nassar created a level of trust, but do you ever let your female child go in with a male doctor without a female nurse, especially after some of the girls actually told their parents of the abuse and were not believed?

The "Horror House" couple banned from having any contact with their 13 children ...

Yes, they have to stay away from them, but they can talk to them through their lawyers, and yes, although we do believe in innocence before guilt, should even this little window of contact be afforded to these alleged monsters?

I think that the gruesome duo does not deserve any contact with their kids ever again. Period.

The poster boys for steroid use in Major League Baseball continue to be a ways away from getting into the Hall of Fame ...

I guess that is a good thing, but will Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens ever get into the Hall of Fame, and do they, in fact, deserve to be enshrined?

Yes to both questions, as you cannot deny their dominance during their playing careers, which was there before the steroid use, and based on their percentages creeping up every year, they will get in, whether purists like it or not.

Record number of flu cases reported this year ...

Does that mean that the warnings that we must take the flu shot really didn't work?

No, I think it just means that the strain of flu we are dealing with this time around is more virulent, and the current flu shot is pretty much worthless against it.

The time has come to end today's Rant ...

I tried something a little different today, just to mix things up a bit, and I am wondering if you liked this change of pace?

I certainly did, and that is why I tried it, and I hope you agree.

That being said ...

Can you have a good weekend, and can you wait until I speak to you again on Monday?

I sure hope so.

Classic Rant #723 (April 24, 2012): Then Came Parks

As my own birthday nears, I pay homage to a person who just happens to have a birthday today. The guy is something of a mere footnote on the 1960s, but he is a survivor, still active, and although in his 70s, he is still a name that you probably remember if you grew up during that time.

Michael Parks, from the TV show "Then Came Bronson," is 72 today.

Parks had the look and the feel to make it big in the late 1960s. He had that bad-boy look that made him appear as if he were the small-screen equivalent of Steve McQueen. Riding on a motorcycle each week to take on new challenges, Parks became something of a teen idol during the "Then Came Bronson" run from 1969-1970.

His characterization of Jim Bronson was that of a loner, but one who got involved. He was part of the youth culture of the time, but seemingly had one hand in it and one hand in the old street cred that if you get in my way, I will take care of you.

Not very peace and love, but it did make the series a cult classic.

He also recorded a few albums during that time, and actually had a top 20 hit with the show's theme, "Long Lonesome Highway," which barely scraped into the Top 20 in 1969.

The show was never a huge hit, but it had its core following, and was released in Europe as a theatrical theme, with more adult content added in. After the show ended, he appeared in numerous movies and TV shows, including "The Colbys" TV show, and "Kill Bill" Parts 1 and 2.

No, he never became a huge star, but he's another one of these actors who guarantees a good performance no matter what he does. And even into his 70s, he continues to have that scruffy look, perfect for character actor roles.

But no matter what role he plays, fans will always remember him as the title character in "Then Came Bronson," which by the way, was in production well before the biker flick to end all biker flicks, "Easy Rider" germinated into a film.

But the two are somewhat linked because of their content, and "Then Came Bronson" pretty much always gets short shrift as a TV ripoff of the theatrical film.

I don't think that's true, and certainly, as a kid watching this show, I didn't even link the two.

But anyway, happy birthday to Michael Parks. He should ride that motorcycle for the next 72 years.

Rant #2,070: Bits and Pieces

Yes, once again, there are a couple of stories going around and around that I would like to talk about, but not at great length, so here is another installment of my fabled Bits and Pieces set of entries for today's Rant.

Anyway, here we go ...

Congratulations to the Latest Baseball Hall of Fame Inductees: Kudos must go to Vladimir Guerrero, Chipper Jones, Jim Thome and Trevor Hoffman as the latest class of baseball Hall of Fame inductees.

Each is deserving, and each is a welcome addition to the most fabled Hall of Fame of them all.

And for those who claim that steroid users should never get into the Hall of Fame, I do believe that one day, two of them, or at least two of the most accused players, will probably get in, but it is going to be a long haul for both of them.

Rogers Clemens and Barry Bonds each inched up a little bit from their previous totals this time around, but are still far short of the required 75 percent for enshrinement. At the rate they are going, they will probably get in by the time their time on the ballot is over and done with, in a couple of years, but they will get in.

Guerrero, Jones, Thome and Hoffman created lasting memories by their performances during their careers, and yes, so did Clemens and Bonds.

And the younger the voting clientele get--a sportswriter has to have covered baseball for 10 years to be able to vote--the more votes both Clemens and Bonds will get.

It is already playing out, and will continue to play out, during the next few years, alongside the obvious first-ballot enshrinements of players like Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter.

Purists won't like this, but whatever the case, Bonds and Clemens were Hall of Fame worthy with or without help, and probably worse people are in Cooperstown than them.

Elton John Quits Touring: Claiming that he has young children at home that he wants to see grow up, singer Elton John announced that he no longer will tour.

His last tour, a 300-date set that is being called "Farewell Yellow Brick Road," will be it for him. He basically said he wants to go out at the top of his game, so this will be the end for him as he pursues other artistic avenues for his talent.

Wow, Elton John and Neil Diamond announce the end of their touring years in the same week! Who is next-- Cher? (Oh yes, she retired about 20 times already.)

Anyway, once again, I have to say that I probably haven't bought an Elton John record in about 40 years, but like Diamond, I fully respect the guy and what he has accomplished over the years.

I am not a fan by any stretch of the imagination, but you can't argue with success.

And people who can create their own destinies and chart their own courses--whether they are the neighborhood garbage man or a world-class star entertainer--are people I fully respect.

So goodbye, Elton, you done good.

What To Do With the Children From the Horror House?: Of course, this is probably one of the top news stories in the world right now, but what, quite frankly, do you do with the 13 kids that were abused by their parents in a story that was uncovered in California last week?

Normally, in such abuse cases, the authorities try to place the kids, together, with a close relative so that they can try to live normal lives together.

But here, not only do you have a large brood of 13 kids, but you have an extended family that is almost as strange as the parents of this baker's dozen of kids.

The paternal grandparents state that the married duo was "told by God" to have so many kids, and not only haven't they seen their grandchildren for years, but when they did see them, they thought they were a bit thin but otherwise OK.

You have the sister of the mother of these kids who says that the kids' father used to stare at her while she took a shower, and although it kind of ruffled her, she didn't really think twice about it.

You have the half sister of the kids' mother who says that both she and her sibling were abused as children.

And no one, not one single extended family member, knew what was going on ... or so they say.

Sorry, if the authorities have any brain power in this--remember, they let this entire case slip through the cracks for years--they will move these children into non-family foster care, including the older, adult siblings ...

And move them as far away from their extended family as possible.

That will probably mean that the 13 kids will be separated, but something must be worked out so that these kids never lose sight that they were all in this together, and they will go through the aftermath and the healing together too.

Speak to you again tomorrow.

Classic Rant #722 (April 23, 2012): Liza's Back ... and Blue

On Saturday night, my wife and I went to see the legendary Liza Minnelli at NYCB Bank Theater in Westbury, Long Island, or whatever they call the Westbury Music Fair now. It has had so many name changes in recent years that heaven knows what its real name is now. In these parts, all you have to say is that you saw a performer at Westbury, and everyone knows exactly the place that you are talking about. Anyway, back to the show ... After a brief opening act, Liza came out, and the crowd went wild. Having been doing this for about 50 years, the crowd pretty much knows what to expect from her during a concert, but there were a couple of surprises during this show ... and they weren't good surprises. First of all, the show had been postponed twice since December because of various ailments that Minnelli has gone through. The main one was that she fell over her dog, and broke her ankle. At 66, she hasn't been in the best of health recently to begin with, but she was hobbling through this show. It looked like she had a lot of trouble walking and moving around, was completely winded after--and in the middle--of every song, and needed a chair to sit in during most of the performance. She was also having a wardrobe malfunction of another kind--her pants kept falling, and she had to constantly pull them up. But the crowd was appreciative throughout the show--they are as devoted an audience as any I've seen at any concert. She sang just about all her big songs--"Liza with a Z," "Cabaret," and "New York, New York" (still the best version of this song, sorry Frank S.), but she was really, really laboring through the 90-minute show. At one point, I think it was on the song "This Time," as she was building to the crescendo, she actually stopped herself, the orchestra (led by long-time collaborator Billy Stritch) and the crowd mid-stream as she caught her breath, and took a long chug of water. She then returned to the actual point that she stopped the song, picked it right up, and finished it. I have never seen that happen at any Liza concert--and any concert in general--that I have ever been in attendance at. Never. But she did it flawlessly, and the crowd rode it as if it were a brand new Cadillac. The crowd loved it all. She learned from her mom, Judy Garland, how to milk an audience for everything it's worth, and whether feigned or the real thing, she did it here too. But the crowd--lots of older, 65 and up people, mixed in with some young 'uns (like myself and my wife) and several gay men, more than I could every remember at a Liza concert on Long Island--ate it up like it was a five-course dinner. They loved every pant, every swig, every misstep that Minnelli took. Look, she is a real trouper. I can't figure out why she continues to do this, other than it probably pays her quite well. But she is past the time when she could do this well. Due to her various ailments, she can't dance, much less walk, and she is constantly out of breath. I go for the spectacle, and there is plenty of it when she is on stage. My wife, and the thousands of others at this show and others she performs, go because they really do love the lady and her talent and her career--and the many, many ups and downs she has had. She remains a credible actress, and when she can get her pipes to work, she can still sing like nobody's business. Maybe those areas are directions for her to pursue in the future, not as a live performer, though. Good for her for everything she has done and everything she will do in the future, but Liza, "Maybe This Time" the time may be right. Bow out on stage before you conk out.

Rant #2,069: You're Having a Baby

Do you know who Tammy Duckworth is?

If you don't, you will soon know a lot about her just by reading on here.

Duckworth is a U.S. Army veteran, who lost both her legs while fighting in Iraq.

She went on to become a member of the House of Representatives and later and currently, a Senator representing Illinois.

In late April, the Senator--who will turn 50 years old by that time--will be the first Senator to give birth while an active member of Congress.

She announced yesterday that she and her husband, Bryan Bowlsbey, a captain in the Illinois National Guard, would welcome their second child in April.

Duckworth is not the first member of Congress to give birth while an active member of that body. Several women have done this, including Kirsten Gillibrand, now a New York Senator, who gave birth while she was a member of the House of Representatives.

But Duckworth will be the first active Senator to give birth while in office, which makes her something of a groundbreaker.

Duckworth--who was born in Thailand--and Bowlsbey are the parents of one child, a daughter, and said that the current pregnancy completes their decades-long "journey" to complete their family.

The Senator, a Democrat who is an outspoken critic of President Trump, is one of 22 female Senators currently serving, a record for that gender in that part of government.

But politics aside, Duckworth is not only a true, real, honest to goodness American hero, but she is now going to be a mother again.

I guess women--and men--can truly have it all, with a bit of grit, determination, and a lot of luck behind them.

Going to be an older mother, I am sure that Duckwoth is being closely monitored by her doctors, just to make sure everything is A-OK.

But thousands of women have given birth at this age and even slightly beyond it, so I am sure everything will go well for her.

She told the Chicago Sun Times that as far as her current health is concerned, "I feel great."

With all the nonsense we hear coming out of Washington nowadays, it is nice to hear a story about something good.

Whether you are a Democrat, a Republican, or something in between, you have to be happy for her, and you have to wish her and her husband well.

And April is a great month to be born in. Spring will be in full bloom by the end of the month, and take it from me, it's the best part of the year to be born in.

Not too hot, not too cold, just right.

That's when I was born, so right here and now, let me predict that her child will be born on April 28. Right on my birthday.

If that happens, you really can't go wrong by being born on that date.

The child will join the likes of Ann-Margret and Jay Leno by being born on that date, so the kid will be in good company.

So mark my words--April 28 is the date when this happy, healthy baby will be born!

Why not?

Classic Rant #721 (April 22, 2012): Dark Shadows Indeed

Yesterday, I gave my take on the life of Dick Clark, an icon in the entertainment industry. Today, I report on another passing, a person who made his most momentous mark during a roughly five-year period, only to pretty much drift away from our consciousness. Jonathan Frid, the Shakespearean actor who was best known for his role of the vampire, Barnabas Collins, on the afternoon soap opera "Dark Shadows," died last week, on Friday the 13th of all days. He was in his late 80s. Frid was not in the original cast of the ABC soap opera. The gothic show debuted several months before his debut, but was not doing well in the ratings. ABC was ready to cancel this Dan Curtis production, but then the writers had an idea. Why not go for broke and cast a vampire? Barnabas Collins was not just a vampire. He was a tortured soul, a man tormented by his past. He was a man who had eternal life, but really, no life at all. The ploy worked, and worked beyond the dreams of probably anybody who was associated with the program. Frid, who was only supposed to be on the show for a few weeks in this story arc, ended up staying for the remainder of the series' run. "Dark Shadows" became one of the hottest shows on the schedule, and the five-day-a-week program became the first soap opera to have a substantial audience of kids. Playing upon the success of the Barnabas Collins character, the show subsequently featured werewolves, time travel, witches ... you name it, and the show had it. Frid was so hot that he was featured in the same magazines as teen stars half his age, like Davy Jones and Mark Lindsay, in the pages of Tiger Beat and magazines of that ilk. He became a cultural phenomenon, and the show seemed to have endless potential. But Frid was kind of tortured himself. He looked upon himself as a Shakespearean actor, not a pop culture soap opera star, and he tired of the Barnabas role. Some alterations were made in his schedule--you can see David Selby's Quentin Collins becoming the star of the show in its later years--but Frid nonetheless wanted to move on. In 1971, Frid turned down a five-year contract to continue the role, and without Barnabas, ABC cancelled the once-hot show. But it has lived on as a cult item for the past 40 years, being one of the few soap operas to have every one of its shows (less one) completely intact. The show has turned up on VHS, and later, DVD. A boxed set of the entire 2,500-plus shows is soon to be released, and a new movie, with Johnny Depp, comes out in a few weeks. Frid pretty much did what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, doing Shakespearean roles, and it is only in the last few years that he came to terms with the Barnabas character. He appeared at a couple of "Dark Shadows" conventions, and was to appear at the latest one in July. It is ironic that he died just when his star might have been rising again. Johnny Depp plays Barnabas in the new movie, and had a reverence for both the character and Frid that culminates in the movie role. Too bad Frid couldn't bask in the glory one more time. He is in the film in a cameo role with three of his former co-stars, so his legacy is pretty much cemented with the film. But looking back 40 years, "Dark Shadows" was really the gas, it really was. And Barnabas was its engine. R.I.P. Jonathan Frid. The vampire is dead, but will never be forgotten. (And no, I don't like this new layout Google has given us, with no separation of paragraphs. I don't know how to fix it, but I am working on it.)

Rant #2,068: Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)

Singer Neil Diamond has announced that he is retiring from touring.

This announcement was made concurrent to the news that he is suffering from Parkinson's Disease,

His doctors told him to cancel the final leg of his 50th anniversary concert tour, which was to take him to Australia and New Zealand.

The entertainer, who is nearly 77 years old, says that he will still write and record music, but his touring days are over,

Personally, I have not bought a Neil Diamond record in probably about 40 years or more, but his influence on music during the past 50 years has been enormous, and also personally, his music kind of runs through me.

This Brooklyn boy, whose music pretty much shows on his sleeve both his early roots and the roots he laid down in Hollywood, has been one of the most successful singer/songwriters of the rock generation, not only having numerous hits on his own but also writing hits for many others, including the Monkees, and this is really where his journey as a most public figure began, to a certain respect.

Parallel to the success that fellow Brooklynite Carole King was to have, both she and Diamond were already very well established songwriters when the Monkees project came about in 1965.

In fact, Diamond was actually slightly ahead of King, as while King had recorded several sides as a singer, she was still primarily a songwriter when this project came about, while Diamond had already established himself as a singer/songwriter when the Monkees thing came up.

Both signed to Columbia/Screen Gems, they contractually turned out numerous songs for this project.

Diamond's Monkees catalog included "I'm a Believer"--originally written as a country song for the likes of Roy Acuff--"A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You," "Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow), and "Love to Love."

The success of those songs as part of the Monkees canon--and the success of the songs Carole King and her then husband, Gerry Goffin, wrote for this project--including "Pleasant Valley Sunday"--gave these two performers the confidence to actually come further out of the shadows and launch their own solo careers full force, pretty much laying the groundwork for the late 1960s/early 1970s singer/songwriter boom that took over the music scene full force back then.

And it all started with Diamond and King, two Brooklyn kids who took their Jewish roots and somehow intertwined them with the rock and roll/California sensibility.

Diamond subsequently became one of the most popular singers on the planet, with numerous gold and platinum hits, including such songs as "Sweet Caroline," "I Am I Said," and "Thank the Lord For the Night Time," and he has also been one of the largest concert draws, too.

His fans basically grew up with him, and you cannot argue with his track record, even though his music became more pap than pop over the years. He gained as many fans as he lost, and remains one of our major music treasures.

And that is why this announcement is such a blow, even to those who fell off the Diamond train years ago, like myself.

You could always count on Diamond to have a record out and be on tour consistently over the past 40 years, but this announcement really puts everything into perspective.

Time does not stand still, we are all getting older, and even icons like Diamond are not immune to aging.

And to now face the scourge of Parkinson's Disease--a long-term degenerative disorder of the central nervous system that directly affects motor skills--he will be in probably the biggest battle of his life.

It is unclear now how much Diamond is affected by the disease, and some people live long and prosperous years handling the disease, which has no known cure.

Fellow singer Linda Ronstadt--whose initial musical profile ironically was also lifted by her Monkees association, through her hit "Different Drum" written by Monkee Michael Nesmith, her very first hit that she had as a member of the Stone Poneys--has suffered with Parkinson's Disease for years, and had to curtail her singing career because the disease was gravely affecting her vocal chords.

But whatever the case, Neil Diamond is a real, true to life American treasure, and while the disease will certainly slow him, here's hoping that it doesn't completely knock him out.

And you know what? I don't think it will.

Classic Rant #720 (April 19, 2012): An Icon Passes

As I am sure you already know, Dick Clark, the host of "American Bandstand" and host, creator and producer of dozens of other shows during a more than 50-year career, died at age 82 yesterday.

You can read elsewhere about his many exploits, how American Bandstand helped the civil rights movement, how his shows helped to make our lives better.

Heck, my mother had told me numerous times that when I was a very little kid, every time "American Bandstand" came on the air when it was a weekly show out of Philadelphia, I would jump up and down in my crib.

But here, I am going to talk about topics related to him that few of the obituaries will even give a slight mention to.

Two of the shows that he produced clearly stand out in my memory, and gave me some of my most vivid recollections from my childhood.

"Where the Action Is" was his spinoff from "American Bandstand." Although it lasted about two seasons as a daytime, Monday-Friday show, it was really the first music "video" show, setting the groundwork for "The Monkees" TV show and even, down the line, MTV.

This black and white show showcased the hottest recording acts of the day, usually lip-syncing to their hits at beaches, pools, or resorts of one kind or another.

Originally hosted by singer Steve Alaimo, the show kind of morphed from a showcase for many acts into a showcase for one act.

Signed as the house band of the show based on their incredible success in the Pacific Northwest, Paul Revere and the Raiders were made for television. They had a very visual act, were very performance oriented, wore Revolutionary War costumes, and had sort of a hard-edged garage/bubblegum pop sound that owed as much to the Beatles as it did to the Kinks.

Led by bandleader Paul Revere and lead singer Mark Lindsay, the band virtually took over the show, and became its centerpiece, along with all the other rock, pop and rhythm and blues acts that appeared on the program. In addition to Revere and Lindsay, the names of Smitty and Fang also entered the lexicon, and the Raiders became among the top teen idols in the nation through this show, certainly setting the environment for the creation of the Monkees.

Clark did many of the voiceovers for the program and I watched it almost religiously.

After that show went off the air, Clark held onto the popularity of the Raiders with his Saturday afternoon "Happening" shows. Following "American Bandstand" on the schedule, these half hour shows starred the Raiders, playing their latest hits and hobnobbing with other popular acts.

There was also a "Battle of the Bands" on every show, and teen idol celebrities like Merilee Rush and Peter Tork were often the judges.

Clark also did voiceovers for this show, which lasted two seasons, and like "Where the Action Is," he was also the producer.

Sure, these two shows are mere footnotes on a resume that included so many other, perhaps more memorable programs.

But to me, the two shows were the essence of Clark: a modern huckster to the youth of America, but in the very best sense of the word.

He was a businessman first, and always, and he had his hand on the pulse of the youth of America.

And parents trusted him with their kids.

So, in parting adieu to Clark, I have to say that he was a truly one of a kind person, a guy that had his fingers on everything, but always knew where he was going next.

Rant #2,067: Happy and Me

With the moronic government shutdown in its third day, one thing is not shutting down anytime soon.

And that is the marriage of my mother and my father.

That is a pretty bad segueway, but that is the truth.

My parents celebrate their 62nd anniversary today, and two people were not meant for each other as much as my mother and father were and continue to be.

They are complete opposites, and they have proven time and time again that opposites attract.

My mother is on the go all the time, like a cannon ball exploding out of a cannon. She cannot stay still for very long, because then she gets antsy, and has to do something.

My mother is perpetual motion.

My father can sit still for long periods of time. He is very content, in retirement, to just while away the days.

He is perpetual idleness.

Or at least he could be, but my mother does not let him sit still for very long.

Since she is always on the go, he is too, but he kind of follows her lead.

This is the way it has always been with them, and it will probably continue to many years in the future.

They are the perfect pair, and how my sister and I got so lucky to have parents like this is beyond me.

We certainly inherited many of their traits, and speaking for myself, I am the perfect amalgam of the two of them.

I can sit still for hours at a time, but after a while, I feel I have to do something to get myself going.

My parents are not just parents, but they are grandparents to five kids, four grandsons and one granddaughter. They are always there for the grandkids, and are very involved in their lives.

And they also oversee our entire family, which includes the spouses of myself and my sister.

It is a relatively small family, but my parents do a good job at making sure that all the parts are in good order, whether it is taking my son to work, listening to everything all of us have to say, or enjoying a night out with us.

On Saturday night, my family took out my parents for dinner, and my sister will be doing the same in the coming days.

We had a fun night, the food was good, and the company was even better.

My parents are both 86, and my mother turns 87 in March. My father follows her in November.

I don't think they look their age, and you would never know, just by looking at them, that they are their age.

Sure, they have their aches and pains here and there, but thank God they are relatively healthy for their age.

There truly is no stopping this real-life dynamic duo, that makes me very happy.

And finally, I would be remiss if I did not give a shout out to my father in law, who turned 86 this weekend.

Theirs was a different generation than ours, a generation that did not have everything handed to them, and they had to work hard to achieve their goals and provide for their families.

They may be among the last of their breed, but they don't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon, and we can all be thankful for that.

So congratulations to them all, and many happy returns.

I just wish that I could be as vibrant as they are if I am lucky enough to reach their age.

They are really something else!

Classic Rant #719 (April 18, 2012): A Barrel Full of Monkees

Last night, after a long, hard day of work, my family and I did something a little bit different with our evening.

The fabled Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington, Long Island--usually the bastion of art house films, and more snooty looks at entertainment and media--itself did something completely different last night.

They presented a rock legends tribute to Davy, Micky, Mike and Peter, better known collectively as The Monkees.

Bill Shelley of Shelley Archives has been collecting rock and roll video for years, and he has an extensive collection of everyone from the Beatles to the Rolling Stones to the Allman Brothers to Steely Dan, just to name a few.

But last night, he presented a more than two-hour program/tribute to the Monkees, a natural for this sort of thing because of their very video nature.

Taking musical segments from their show, mixed in with the numerous TV commercials and guest appearances on other shows as well as segments from their film "Head" and their TV special "33 1/3 Revolutions Per Monkee," Shelley proved once and for all, and without a doubt, that the Monkees were a vital piece of the 1960s, and that their music--and to a certain degree, their hijinks while performing these songs--continue to be vital, and if nothing else, quite interesting.

Whether performing the seminal "I'm a Believer" or playing with Nerf Balls (they introduced this line of toys in 1969), the foursome had their hands on the pulse of what was hot in young America from the mid 1960s through the latter stages of the decade.

Some said they were born as a band with silver spoons in their mouths, but the fact of the matter is that given this task, they handled it not only admirably, but probably more successfully than could ever have been imagined.

With numerous hits and hit albums, and with a successful TV show to boot, their legacy lives on, in everything from current teen idols to music videos to the big, full-fledged tours that are the staple of the world of music today.

And they have never lost their popularity, only gained on it, and the recent death of Davy Jones has truly brought fans out of the woodwork. Their future as true pop stars has been solidified for another generation and probably for generations into the future.

The video tribute was pretty well done, and the packed audience clapped along after every segment was shown. Some of the video was not rare--how many times can you see their classic "Daydream Believer" segment (with Davy's introduction intact)? Some of what was shown was quite rare, such as the aforementioned Nerf toy commercial.

Most, if not all of the segments can be found on YouTube, but to see them on the big screen was a plus.

But whatever was being shown, the audience--a mix of baby boomers, older fans, and even some younger fans like my son--was into it from the get go, and never stopped.

There was a brief question and answer session afterward, and the whole evening went pretty quickly.

I wish Jann Wenner was there. As the unenlightened despot of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he has never had a fondness for the group, certainly one of the most beloved acts of 1960s rock and roll.

With Davy Jones' untimely passing, even his Rolling Stone mag opened its pages to the Monkees, giving a surprisingly large amount of coverage to his death and the overall Monkees phenomenon.

Perhaps time heals all wounds, whether real or imagined, and perhaps Wenner will allow the so-called Pre-Fab Four into the hallowed halls of the Hall of Fame next time nominations come around.

If he would have seen this video tribute, he would truly understand why, for years, fans have called for the HoF to include these four extremely talented performers into the HoF.

Forget about the silver spoon; these guys had talent, and the talent to carry the whole thing off.

Now, nearly 50 years after the fact, is the time for them to be welcomed in.

Sure, the Monkees aped the Beatles, but the video tribute demonstrated without a shadow of a doubt that they belong in there, the sooner the better.

Rant #2,066: Double Vision

Well, sort of.

After talking about grisly, real-life things that defy belief, let's take today, Friday, Jan. 19, as a day we look at something else entirely ...

Burger King.

Yes, the self-proclaimed king of burgers is taking assault on McDonald's once again, and this time, they are doing it with something of a doppleganger sandwich, or a similar sandwich from a different mother, if you will.

Burger King today unveils a new burger sandwich made of a half-pound of beef called the Double Quarter Pound King Sandwich.

It consists of two patties that each reportedly have a pre-cook weight of four ounces, topped with American cheese, sliced onions, pickles and ketchup, and all of this sits between a toasted, sesame seed bun.

Yes, this kind of resembles McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder sandwich, but Burger King's version of this has more calories than the Golden Arch's sandwich does.

And Burger King kind of acknowledges the similarity, by saying in a statement, "We'd like to offer our deepest condolences to all the flat-top fried double quarter pound burgers out there. We're flame grilling the competition."

Or copying it, at least.

And in more news about dopplegangers, Wednesday's episode of "The X-Files," about dopplegangers of another sort, kind of brought the show back to its roots, as Fox Mulder and Dana Scully "kind of" get back together in a romantic sort of way.

In a story that could have fit right into the original shows of the series--which Fox has brought back yet again for another go around this season--the two FBI investigators look into a case where twins are being created by twins themselves, all through a game of Hangman.

One of the evil twins, who plays Hangman all day and night while residing in a mental hospital, thrashes at Scully, telling her that she is old and past her time.

Later in the show, when Scully begins to see her own evil twin created by these twins, she falls into the arms of her former/current/questionable paramour Mulder, and while we only see them cuddling, we are led to believe that they did more than cuddle that particular night, and in fact, when the original evil twins do away with themselves at the end of the show, we are given the impression that Scully and Mulder might just be an item again.

If you don't know this show from a hole in the wall, it is going to be difficult to explain the relationship of these two characters, once again perfectly underplayed by David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

They supposedly had a child together, but even that is questionable.

Yes, they were definitely an item, but now, not so much, but they kind of are, as they investigate paranormal cases that the FBI has shoved under the table, so to speak.

They at least care for one another, but do they actually love each other?

Yes, it is complicated, but once again, the show pulls this all off with aplomb in the new season.

So in today's Rant, we definitely have double vision, talking about two of the things that make the world go 'round: Burger King and "The X-Files."

Heck, now those two items are really, really important important, aren't they, aren't they?

Speak to you again on Monday Monday, have a nice weekend weekend.

Classic Rant #718 (April 17, 2012): Comedy Redux

Yesterday, I pontificated about the new Three Stooges movie, which I--and the world--could have lived without.

But I got to thinking, that this wasn't the first time that our beloved comedy teams have been portrayed by others, mainly on television.

Some of the portrayals are pretty good, some are pretty awful, but comedy teams seem to be ripe for this sort of thing.

"Bud and Lou" was a 1978 TV movie purportedly showing the real relationship between Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. Lou, played by Buddy Hackett, came off as an overbearing, career-directed mole in this film, while Bud, played by Harvey Korman, came off as something of a drunken wimp.

I remember that Korman and Hackett appeared on "The Tonight Show" to push the film, and actually performed the classic "Who's on First" routine pretty flawlessly.

But the film fell flat, because it was a drama about a beloved comedy team, and basically showed how wretched they supposedly were.

Where's "Susquehanna Hat Company" when you need it?

Another portrayal of a comedy team was that of Laurel and Hardy on a number of TV shows and TV commercials by comic actors Dick Van Dyke and Chuck McCann.

This was a more reverential portrayal of the comedy team than was the portrayal of Abbott and Costello by Korman and Hackett. When you would see Van Dyke and McCann do their takes on Ollie and Stan, you got the sense that they really loved the comedy team, and their portrayal was pretty much picture perfect.

McCann--a little more robust than he is today--had Hardy's slow burns down to perfection, while Van Dyke's Laurel hit the mark by mixing the innocent with the comic, which is really what made Stan and Ollie the benchmark for all comedy teams.

I have included a clip of the two from "The Gary Moore Show," and you can see for yourself how two comic geniuses portrayed two other comic geniuses without missing a step.

Van Dyke and McCann put on their Laurel and Hardy guise with other sidekicks, but I would say the two of them together were absolutely incredible. Their portrayal of Stan and Ollie was spot on.

There have been others who have portrayed comedy teams on TV. One that I could think of was a portrayal of the Marx Brothers by none other than the Sweathogs of "Welcome Back Kotter" fame.

Gabe Kaplan almost made a career out of this, playing Groucho on the small screen and on the stage.

But looking at all of these, from the depths of the Korman/Hackett impersonation to the heights of the Van Dyke/McCann portrayals--and with everything in between--there is just nothing like the originals.

Why watch copies when the originals can be viewed so easily?

I guess that can be said for the Three Stooges film.

Why watch a copy when all you have to do is put in a DVD and watch the masters at work?

And no, I don't look forward to any Cheech and Chong reduxes in the near or distant future.

Rant #2,065: Crazy (Part 2)

Yes, more details are coming out about that horrific situation I talked about yesterday, where 13 children were found holed up in a house in California, in almost "dungeon-like" conditions, some chained to their beds, and all malnourished to the point that they didn't even look their ages--and the oldest kid was 29 years of age.

You can go back to yesterday's Rant to find more early details on this story, one of the most bizarre I personally have ever heard about.

Now, the grandparents have come out and talked about their grandchildren, and let me tell you, some type of mental illness runs through this family.

The paternal grandparents of the 13 kids claim that "God called on" the parents to have so many children.

They have had little contact with their son, his wife or their grandchildren, but the last time they saw the brood, at their suburban home pictured above, about four or five years ago, the children looked thin, but they appeared to be happy.

State records do show that the children were schooled via home schooling, and that the father was the supposed principal of a "private school" that he and his wife ran.

However, the "private school" was evidently not ever inspected by the state of California.

Other things have leaked out about this mysterious family and the horrific situation they lived in.

First, the son was raised as a Pentecostal, but the grandparents said that he had not attended a formal church in many years.

Later, he at least originally was a computer engineer, and had graduated Virginia Tech with a degree in that area.

When he and his wife had a family, the kids were home schooled, with a strict adherence to religion, of what church is still unknown, but evidently, one of the things they had to do was to learn, memorize and recite long passages of the Bible.

The grandparents claim they had no known friends, and the family pretty much kept to themselves.

Further, CBS News reported this morning that speaking to neighbors of the family, one woman said that when the children were asked their names, they were told that they were not allowed to give them out.

The grandparents are not charged with any crime, other than being absolutely clueless, which, of course is not a crime.

But it is a "crime" that they didn't apparently take much of an interest in their son or his family, although they did say they spoke to him over the phone on a fairly regular basis, once or twice a month.

Again, I am sure plenty more is going to come out about this family and the cruelty the parents inflicted on their children.

When did the parents snap? What else went on in that house that nobody knew about?

And maybe most importantly, where was the State of California in this mess? Why were they so negligent in their duties? Why did they never conduct an inspection of the alleged school?

And what of the children? CBS reported this morning that the children seemed to be very friendly when they were spoken to by the authorities, but you have to wonder about their inner workings, and the toll this type of behavior took on them.

Time will tell.

I have to do something tomorrow morning that will prevent me from writing a new entry to this blog, so I will speak to you again on Friday.

Classic Rant #717 (April 16, 2012): Three Stooges ... Take It From the Real Larry (nyuck, nyuck)

My family and I saw the new Three Stooges movie this weekend.

Let me tell you about the plot first before I tell you whether I liked it or not.

Moe, Larry and Curly are dropped off--more like thrown to--a Catholic orphanage, and they grow up as being the most un-adoptable of the children at the orphanage.

Moe comes the closest to getting adopted, but because he wants his friends with him, he gets brought back to the orphanage. Another boy is adopted in his place.

Through the years, the boys grow up at the orphanage, and they cause nothing but havoc no matter what they do.

Then the orphanage cannot pay its mortgage, and the boys set out to try to find a way to pay what the orphanage owes.

In the middle of this, they get embroiled in a murder plot involving the buxom wife of the kid who was adopted in the place of Moe so many years earlier. The wife wants to get rid of her husband so she can get together with someone else, which ends up being not him, but someone else she wants to get together with.

The Three Stooges end up triumphing over evil, but while they don't save the orphanage, the place survives in another guise.

That's it, in a nutshell.

No, this picture won't drain your brain at all, and the movie makers really try hard to make the "new" Three Stooges as believable as possible, but ultimately, these "new" Three Stooges have even less credibility than the Joe Besser Three Stooges years did, or even less than the cartoon Stooges did.

They really do try. The three actors portraying the Stooges look, act, talk and poke, hit and punch just like the original Three Stooges did, but they just aren't Moe, Larry and Curly, they are actors portraying Moe, Larry and Curly, and there is a difference.

Sure, there were some funny and somewhat clever sight gags, and the filmmakers--Peter and Bobby Farrelly--are obviously big Three Stooges fans, because there are some nuances in the film that make that pretty clear.

So I give them kudos for that. That is much different than what I have seen with other reboots, where they take a title, let's say, "Get Smart," and have no clue about what made the original so terrific. The reboot is a botch job, and falls by the wayside.

But even though this film tries, there is something missing from it that is an integral part of the Three Stooges experience, whether you realized it or not.

I think one reason that the new film kind of falls flat is that it is missing that "Yiddishkeit" that the original shorts had.

What I mean by that is that the Three Stooges were Jews, and much of their humor was derived from that experience. There are many in-jokes in those original shorts, and as a Jew, I can see them loud and clear, whether it is the use of certain names, places, or other sight gags and jokes.

In this film, everything is homogenized, made vanilla, and you simply don't get that.

But I guess that if you are below the age of, let's say, 25, you might like this picture.

It wasn't quite the worst movie I have ever seen, but I have seen better.

Think of it this way: The Three Stooges movie is to the original Three Stooges as the new Yankee Stadium is to the original Yankee Stadium.

It's a good facsimile, but it isn't the real thing.

But if you are a young kid, and you don't know what the real thing is, this film will do.

And the laughs I heard from the kids in the theater tells me that a lot of people, younger people, really liked this film.

I think the moviemakers knew this, and catered to that audience.

There were some very mild sexually oriented jokes, but a lot of that stuff--which was included in the original trailer--was edited out of the final cut, so what you get is generally a safe film for kids, made more so by the disclaimer at the end, where the moviemakers tell the kids that the hammers, knives and other things that were used in the movie were rubber and fake.

Why they felt the need to do this is beyond me. I guess they wanted to protect themselves just in case any kid started to hit his brother's head with a hammer, but previous generations never had this problem, so why would the current one have such a problem?

I don't get it, and I really don't get making movies, or reboots, like this one.

It reminded me years ago of The Little Rascals movie. I took my then very young daughter to see this, and it was even more implausible than the Stooges film. You had the characters of Farina and Buckwheat together in the same movie at basically the same age, which was an impossibility, but I guess the moviemakers took certain liberties, just like they did with the Stooges movie.

Oh well, to sum it up, not the worst movie out there, but far from the best, the Three Stooges movie should appeal to younger kids who don't know any better.

Now, after seeing this film, what their parents should do is to buy, rent or find the original Three Stooges shorts, and let the kids watch them--then the kids will see the real, honest to goodness Stooges, not copies.

And I guarantee that they will love the originals.

How can you make a real copy of a concept that lasted generations?

Here's to Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Shemp Howard, and even to Joe Besser and Curly Joe DeRita.

They were the real thing, and the real thing is just that.

And take it from a real Larry, this copy is just a copy, and little more.

(P.S.: Seeing this film marked the 50th anniversary of seeing my first Stooges movie in the movie theater--"The Three Stooges in Orbit" (1962). My father swore that he would never take me to see any film ever again after sitting through this movie, where the mainly kids audience was throwing things, talking and yelling and screaming and making a mess of themselves. He didn't keep his promise, but I did see my second Stooges film with my friends: "The Outlaws Is Coming" (1965).)

Rant #2,064: Crazy

Yes, crazy.

There is no other word to describe what police found at a home in California yesterday.

They found 13 siblings, malnourished and dirty, ranging in ages from 2 to 29, in the same house, with many of them chained to beds.

And due to these horrific circumstances, their parents have been charged with torture.

Evidently, police would have never known what was going on in the house had not one of the children, a 17 year old girl, escaped from the house, and reported the situation to the Riverside County police department with a cell phone she found in the house.

The girl herself was so malnourished that she looked maybe half her actual age, according to reports. Six of the children are minors, while the other seven are over 18 years of age.

The 13 children's parents, David Allen Turpin, 57, and Louise Anna Turpin, 49, were arrested and each charged with nine counts of torture and 10 counts of child endangerment. They were ordered to be held on $9 million bail each. No motive was released.

Although neighbors said that they rarely saw the family, who moved into the neighborhood three years ago--one told CBS News that they had seen several children recently doing yard work--the elder Turpins did not make themselves that scarce.

They had a Facebook page showing the couple dressed in wedding attire, surrounded by 10 of their female children, who were all dressed in matching dresses. Three males were also in the photo, and they were in suits.

The parents were next due in court on Thursday to answer the charges.

What drives people to do such things is beyond my comprehension, and what is even more bewildering is that nobody in the neighborhood, nor government officials, had any clue about what was going on in that house.

I had heard this morning that the parents may have registered the home as a children's day care facility, but if so, weren't there any checks and balances in place--like simple inspections--to make sure that everything was copacetic?

And as for the neighborhood, didn't anyone wonder why, with such a large family, they rarely saw any of them on the outside?

Of course, more details of this horrific situation will be coming out in the days and weeks ahead, and by the time you read this, perhaps some of this information will have leaked out.

But from what we know right now, somebody evidently dropped the ball on this situation, and dropped the ball big time.

And as for the children ... they were supposedly so malnourished and unkempt that like with the one child who managed to escape, none of them looked as old as they were.

One child was all of two years old--were there no records of this child's birth?

We hear of weird cases like this on occasion, but this one might be the weirdest I, personally have heard about, simply because there were so many children involved.

What we hear in the coming weeks and months will paint a grisly picture, I am sure, and this picture will include how this family eluded the authorities for so long a time.

Somebody has to be held accountable for this mess, and you can bet that somebody will be the fall guy for the county's behavior.

We shall see.