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Monday, November 13, 2017

Rant #2,022: Calling Dr. Love

Let me begin by wishing a belated happy Veterans Day to all the military veterans out there.

This includes my father and father-in-law, as well as my brother-in-law, all of whom served proudly in the armed forces.

I hope they all had a good day.

We salute you all, even though some football players kneel in your face.

Your valor and service have allowed them to do so, although they are too ignorant to realize this.

Anyway, on Veterans Day, we celebrated my wife's birthday. We went to a local restaurant of her choosing, and had a nice time.

The main crux of this rant has nothing to do with either Veterans Day or my wife's birthday; it has to do with recent comments by Kiss frontman Gene Simmons about working mothers.



Simmons recently drew a lot of criticism when he basically knocked the notion of women having both family and careers at the same time.

Via an interview with the New York Post, Simmons said, "It's natural to want to have kids, but sorry, you can't have it both ways. You have to commit to either career or family. It's very difficult to have both."

Of course, the social media universe responded to what Simmons said, but he is basically right. It IS very hard to juggle a career and family, but of course, few want to hear the truth.

Look, in today's world, women almost have to work, if for nothing else, than family economics. Families need two incomes to exist today, and thus, both fathers and mothers not only need to work as part of their careers, they need to work because of economics.

But don't tell me that the family unit, and primarily kids, do not suffer because one parent is at home as they are growing up and going to school.

Traditionally, that has been the woman, but really, it an be either the mother or father that I am talking about here.

Kids are left to fend for themselves too much today, and the leaves giant holes in their upbringings, holes which are filled with everything from social media to much worse behavior.

Years ago, when many women did not work, kids came home from school with their moms at home, and I do believe this situation made the family unit more cohesive. Having mom home gave kids direction, and they were less apt to get into trouble with a parent at home.

And again, that dynamic started to change in the late 1960s and early 1970s, when women with careers were starting to be taken seriously.

Yes, it has to do with, as a I said earlier, economics. You simply cannot survive today without both the mother and father working. It cannot be done, unless one of the parents is making an extraordinary amount of money.

Middle class people cannot survive on one salary anymore.

But it does hurt the family unit to have both parents spending so much time away from that unit, and in the workplace.

So, at least the way I look at it, Simmons is correct in what he says, but he is not being realistic.

He is a high wage earner. Perhaps in his family, his salary can help his household exist without suffering.

But the last time I looked, he was married to Shannon Tweed, a popular actress with many B-films to her credit. He and she made headlines several years ago because he had a very difficult time committing to marrying her, but finally tied the knot against his lothario ways.

When she and Simmons married, she kind of left show business, but not entirely, so while the Kiss guy is kind of right in what he says, as most in Hollywood do, he doesn't practice what he preaches, to a certain extent.

But yes, I do believe the family unit has suffered over the past nearly 50 years, primarily because women went to work full time.

I was lucky, luckier than most of my counterparts. When I was a kid, my mother did not work, so she was home when I got home from school.

Most of my friends' moms worked, even back in the mid 1960s, so my situation was nearly unique among my peers.

But what a benefit it was to have my mother at home! My sister and I benefited enormously from her being there.

But things are different in 2017 than they were in 1967, and to maintain a middle class lifestyle, families need two incomes.

Heck, my wife would love to leave her job and be home for our son.

But it simply is not economically feasible.

So in conclusion, yes, Simmons was right on target with what he said.

But he is living in his own dream world if he believes that average American family can exist like his.

So I give him a thumb's up on his main point, but I give him a thumb's down on the reality of what he said.

It just won't work in 2017.

4 comments:

  1. Precisely what percentage of households with children are 2 parent households today anyway?
    How is it that single parent households,mostly women, many with deadbeat Dads manage to survive and raise their family?

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    Replies
    1. It is just 46 percent, and that is a sad statistic. And one parent families ... how many of these actually prosper? I provided for my daughter in my situation, so I was far from a deadbeat dad, but there are plenty of mom's who add to the problems encountered by this situation too.

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    2. "And one parent families... how many of these actually prosper?" I suppose we could ask the same abut two parent households...how many of them actually prosper? Two parent households are not inherently superior to one parent households, they are just different.
      I neither implied nor inferred that you were a deadbeat dad, so I am wondering why you felt the need to declare your innocence?

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    3. Two-parent households have a better chance of at least making a go of it than one-parent households do. As far as one parent families being the result of deadbeat dads, I really don't like the implication, because I can tell you that most divorced parents work out their finances just fine. You have bowed into media hype again. I just figured I would give you an example of the 98 percent of fathers in this position who do their jobs, and I was one of those dads.

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