Rant #2,002: Sleep Walk

Well, my old friend insomnia has returned to my body.

This sickness that I still have in me is now keeping me up, and as I write this, it is about 1 a.m. or so, and I can't get back to sleep.

Even with all the pills I have been taking, I was so stopped up that one bad set of coughs woke me up from whatever slumber I was in, and I am sorry to say, woke me up for good, apparently.

Yesterday, I was clearly the poster boy for whatever malady I have, and boy, was it embarrassing.

I had a funeral to go to, and my wife and I went.

Earlier in the week, I didn't think I would make the funeral, but yes, I was getting better, so I decided to go to the funeral, and I felt fine as I got up yesterday and prepared to go.

We went, and the ceremony began.

We were sitting in a row in the chapel of the funeral home that was full, and I was on the outside of the row, and it ended up being the perfect placement for me.

Within minutes of the start of the ceremony, I started to hack and cough, and I couldn't stop myself.

I proceeded to run out of the chapel as fast as I could, still hacking and coughing.

I know I created a little scene, but heck, I could not stay in there while I was in such a state.

I ran out, went into the funeral home's hallway, and then outside, where I could get some air.

I took a few deep breaths as I was still hacking and coughing, and after about 10 minutes--an approximate, it felt like 10 hours, to be honest with you--I settled down.

I went to sit in my car, and then the service was over, and we planned to go the cemetery to further pay our respects.

The cemetery was a good drive away from the funeral home, and we followed the other cars with our emergency lights on as part of a small cavalcade of those going to the cemetery.

In the middle of this drive, I started to cough again, and started to cough again so ferociously that my wife said I turned all colors, including red and blue. I could not catch my breath at all, but somehow, I was still able to proceed driving.

That lasted a few minutes--a white guy turning red and blue, at least I was patriotic while I was choking--but my wife said it wasn't pretty, and believe me, it didn't feel pretty either.

But finally that ended, and we went to the cemetery, participated in that ceremony, and went on our way.

I had one or two minor coughing fits throughout the rest of the day, and honestly, physically, I do not feel sick, or at least like I have fever.

I don't feel 100 percent yet, and it was a lazy Sunday, and I know I took a nap or two during the course of the day, and I know that I went to bed early on Sunday night.

And as I said, I was in the course of sleep when I coughed, and coughed good, enough to wake me up, throw off my rhythm, and here I am, at this hour, typing this story of woe out because I cannot go back to sleep.

One funny thing happened during this entire episode yesterday.

As we arrived at the cemetery, through the hacking, my wife said that she thought I received a text message on my phone, and honestly, I don't know how she heard it through the noise, but she was right, I did receive a text message, and as we waited for the ceremony to begin, I took out my phone and saw who sent me the message.

It was none other than Jerry Mathers, the Beaver, who I contacted for the story I wrote in Friday's Rant, about the whereabouts of one Karen Sue Trent, the actress that played Penny Woods on "Leave It To Beaver."

Alas, he wrote to me that he didn't know what had happened to her either.

My wife shook her head as I replied to him, thanking him for getting back to me even if he didn't have any information on her.

"The Beav" and "the hack"--strange bedfellows that somehow came together, and I wish that they came together in such a way that I can get back to sleep, but I don't know if that is going to happen right now.

I will finish typing this, and try, try again to get back to sleep.

Let's see what happens.