Classic Rant #664 (January 30, 2012): Eating Underground

This was an extremely slow news weekend.

Nothing much happened to report on, at least where I live.

But one story did make some news.

A legislator in Manhattan is proposing that eating be banned on the New York City subway system.

That's right, banned.

The bill, proposed by state Sen. Bill Perkins (D-Manhattan), stipulates that anyone caught eating in the subway gets a $250 fine.

Evidently, the proposal came up as criticism of people's cleanliness habits on the subway mounted.

Another bill proposes to ban garbage pails on the subway.

Thousands of people use the New York City subway system to get to work throughout the five boroughs. When I worked in Manhattan, I certainly used it, and yes, you do see all kinds on the subway.

As far as eating, you see people eating candy bars, drinking a can of soda, munching on chips.

And you also see people eating full meals, like spaghetti, tacos, pizza, you name it.

And they often don't clean up after themselves.

So the thousands of pounds of leftover food that has to be cleaned up from the subway cars each and every day is often the dinner for the millions of vermin that live and breed in the subway.

The legislator said that with this ban, the vermin population will go down, because these pests literally live off the discarded food that subway riders leave on the subway and don't eat.

It's a fine idea, but it will be completely impossible to enforce.

The New York City subway has taken generations to and from wherever they had to go. It is as much part of the city framework as, let's say, the Empire State Building is.

It is often the only free time straphangers have before they get to their work or other destinations.

Eating on the subway is part of its ambience. Vendors hawk every type of food right at platforms on even on platforms.

How is the city going to ban eating on the subway with it so part of the New York City culture?

They can't. It would be an impossible task.

Sure, they banned smoking on the subway, but honestly, that was more a health issue.

When you eat a slice of pizza on the subway, you are really only hurting yourself, with the extra calories you are piling on.

I would instead run an informational campaign, alerting straphangers that it is polite to clean up after yourselves, not leave food on the train when you exit.

I think that that, ultimately, would be the best way to lessen the mess that the subways have to put up with.

And remember, the fast food is named "Subway" for a reason.

Not that that really matters at all, but the subway is what it is, and no legislation banning food on the subway will ever work.

It is a waste of time and a waste of taxpayer money.