Classic Rant #573 (September 2, 2011): Panties All Tied In a Knot

Happy birthday to Salma Hayek today. She turns 45.

Now that I got that out of the way, here's a real story to talk about.

Riddle me this: why were hundreds of pairs of mostly women's underwear dumped along the side of a road in a town in Central Ohio?

The undergarments were found in trees and on hillsides in several spots in Fairfield County this week on a road in Berne Township, about 30 miles southeast of Columbus.

Some of the panties reportedly were still folded the way they'd come in packaging, while others appeared to have been worn.

There were nearly 1,700 pairs in all, in a mix of colors and patterns.

When collected, they filled 10 large trash bags.

But authorities have no idea where the panties came from.

Sounds like a college prank to me. Are there any schools of higher education in this area?

I hope that the police give these undergarments to some deserving cause, like a homeless shelter or something like that. Heaven knows that those people could use some nice new underwear.

And wash the used underwear. They will be like new for these people.

But where did the undergarments come from?

They just don't drop from the sky, like the manna from heaven story in the Bible.

It doesn't rain underwear, either.

I still stick with my belief that some college fraternity and/or sorority probably had a part in this.

The police should canvas some local department stores to see if large quantities of undergarments were purchased recently.

I am sure that with good detective work, they will solve this case.

This isn't a panty raid, it's almost just the opposite.

And again, happy birthday to Salma Hayek, who, I am sure, wouldn't be able to help the police out on this one.