Rant #1,599: Titillation

I didn't know what to call this entry, so "Titillation" it is.

That is a word that grabs all of us, both males and females, because of the promise that when this word is used, we are going to have our senses satisfied in one way or another.

Today, I am going to write about those annoying--yet very inviting and nice to look at--entries on the Internet that grab us and almost force us to look.

Yes, I am talking about those sites that promise "interesting" photographs of weather girls, picture fails, picture bombs, photos that the picture taker did not expect, the hottest golfers ... I think you have seen as many of these as I have, and while they are certainly inviting, they are annoying.

Look, I am the typical red blooded American male. This means I love to look--but not touch, of course--at pretty women.

Just about all of these sites offer photos of beautiful women of all shapes and sizes and ethnicities.

Yes, I am as big a letch as any other guy, and if the site description is interesting, even against my better judgment, I will got to these sites.

What you get is mainly advertisements, and sometimes the sites deliver, but often times not.

All you see are boring photos, and sometimes, you have to go to the end to see that pretty girl that is being used as a lure to get you to the site in the first place.

Other times, the girl isn't even there.

And you have to go from page to page to page to see the whole thing.

I am not addicted to these sites by any means, and lately, I have been staying way away from them.

But I guess they employ some of that old logic: offer and the consumer will buy, even though all I am spending is my time at these sites.

And when they do deliver, pretty much what you get are PG-rated photos at worst, nothing really with nothing.

So my advice is to stay away from these sites, because they really don't offer you anything that you can't see in, let's say, the new Playboy magazine, the one without the nudes.

They simply exist to force you to look at the ads on each page, and nothing more.

But to click from one photo to the next and to the next and then still onto the next is a ridiculous exercise in wasting time.

They seem to exist because much of the news we are getting on the Internet is going into National Enquirer territory anyway, and let's be honest about it, we jump into these things hook, line and sinker.

We are suckers for the baby with four arms, the people with incurable diseases, the gal who gets bullied because she has three breasts.

Stuff like that is titillation, and humans need their minds stimulated this way every once in a while.

But these types of stories are too fully mixed arm and arm into the real news stories of the day, and that is where a line needs to be drawn, but well, the cat is out of the bag, and it isn't going to happen.

So again, when you go onto Yahoo, let's say, and you see your list of stories, and the one right under the real news story about, I don't know, our deals with Iran, the presidential race, or unemployment, says "See the Sexiest Newscasters in Epic Fails," stay away.

Stay far, far away.

Heck, I can't even see the real news stories from the fake ones, so tomorrow, I have to go to my eye specialist for my eye checkup, and thus, I will have to take the day off from writing Rant #1,600 until Monday.

So speak to you again then.