Rant #1,587: What I Would Do With a Billion Dollars

What would I do with a billion dollars?

I have pondered this question, what with Powerball being in the stratosphere right now, and last night, for one of the few times in my life, I actually went to the local 7-Eleven and bought a lottery ticket.

I went after work, about 6 p.m. or so, and there wasn't a line, there wasn't that mass hysteria people talk about when it comes to getting a lottery ticket for a big potential payoff.

I walked in, got my ticket and left--I was probably in the store for about 90 seconds.

I took a quick pick, because that is generally what people win with.

And I have not looked at my numbers. I don't want to know what I have until I check the numbers on Thursday morning after the Wednesday evening drawing.

But let's be honest about it. My chances of winning this thing, anybody's chances of winning this thing, are so tiny that basically, me and the other people participating in this pretty much threw away our money for a chance at the prize.

But someone, or a group of people, eventually have to win this multi-state lottery, and it may as well be me.

What would I do if I won the big prize?

Well, the first thing is that I would take a lump sum payment.

And I would hire a financial planner or financial lawyer to make sure I am going to get the biggest bang out of my bucks--and keep as much of it as possible.

Then, I would probably quit my job and have my wife quit hers.

We would give two weeks notice, of course.

Next, I would pay off every debt my wife, myself, and my immediate family has. And I do mean everything, from mortgages to car payments to credit cards and everything in between.

I would also pay off my house in full. I am sure the bank would be thrilled.

This way, my parents, who my family lives with, would not have to worry about such stuff for the rest of their lives. They have earned that right anyway, but by actually paying everything off, what they earned would be a reality.

I would then help pay off the debts of my sister, my in-laws, homes and medical care and everything.

I would then probably listen to the planner and lawyer, and pour some money into some type of entity that helps people in need. It is a nice thing to do, and I would imagine you could save a lot in taxes by doing so.

That is what wealthy people do, and it is not all from the goodness of their hearts.

I would also donate to an existing charity. Why not, they pretty much all do good work.

Then, I might get into a business where my son could have a job for the rest of his life. He is in a nice situation now, but this move by me would solidify his future.

And I would take care of my daughter too.

And then I would sit back, put my feet up, relax, and maybe have time to count my money.

I guess I would also be a celebrity, because everyone would know who I am--all the real friends I have, all the spongers, and other people would contact me, and I would probably listen to what they all had to say.

My friends I would take seriously. The others, out the door.

I would probably be one of those people who are good with this gift from heaven, because once everything I said above was done, that would probably be it.

I would be set for life, and would use the money to live on and to prosper with.

No spending on lavishness with me, although I might do a couple of lavish things, like maybe take an around the world cruise or something.

And I would certainly lavish a lot on my wife, who deserves to be lavished upon.

So, that is it. That is what I would do with a billion dollars, which, of course, because of taxes and stuff, would be much less than that, but something I could live very handsomely on.

I am in it to win it, and we will see if I did.

And if I do win this thing, you will read about it here in the Ranting and Raving blog.

Like the old song said, "I am going to shout it from the rooftops--goody, goody gumdrops. ... "

A billion gumdrops. Not bad for a $4 payout.