Rant #3,627: Short Shorts

This might very well be the shortest Rant of all time.

Yesterday was a complete disaster for me, as I literally worked all day--and I do mean all day--and into the evening to get out my coverage of that meeting I told you about.

Four-thousand words and counting.

I didn't even finish doing all that I needed to do, even though I was chained to the computer morning, noon and night.

Last night, I was so wound up that I couldn't sleep--three hours in dreamland, three hours wide awake, three hours back sleeping--so I woke up late today.

I still have work to catch up on, which I will do today, in between everything else I need to do, which is a lot.

THIS IS NOT RETIREMENT, but then again, I simply cannot fully retire.

I am getting more envious by the day of those who can simply say, "I have had enough!" and are able to retire on their own terms.

I wish I could, I really do, but I can never retire.

We have some money here, but it is not nearly enough to retire on.

And with taxes and my car probably needing brakes--coupled with some other big checks I have to write in February--retirement, the full kind, is off the table.

I mean, it isn't even a figment of my imagination as I work myself into the ground.

Wish my son luck with his Situation Wanted ad in the local Sunday newspaper.

He needs all the luck in the world to get a new job.

He is in the middle of his life work cycle, I am at what should be the end, and I don't want him to end up like me when he gets to be my age.

He should be able to retire, like any normal person should, on his own terms.

But let's not put the cart before the horse.

Maybe the ad will work, because I am out of ideas.

And you have a good weekend, and I will speak to.you again on Monday.

SHEESH!

Rant #3,626: Ups and Downs

Yesterday went fairly well ... I guess ... or at least I initially thought it did.

I took my son to an organization that could possibly help him find a job.

We went there because I tried to fill out the application form at home six times, on several different devices, and it would not accept the application.

Sometimes, you have to listen to that part of you that after failing six times, says maybe this just isn't worth it.

Well, I am so full flung into getting my son a job, that I just didn't.

We got there, made out the application in the office, and it still wouldn't take ... until a supervisor came over, punched in a few keystrokes, and it finally went through.

Then we were told thst we needed to provide various documentation to confirm that my son qualifies for the program.

I could have already brought over the documentation if I would have known about it, which would have saved time, but that is not how this place works--

We were told that we would get a call back from them in three to five business days, and we will have to go back there and bring them all of this documentation.

Why is everything so convoluted?

But the best was yet to come.

We received a call at a minute or two before 5 p.m. telling me that people in their specific town get precedence in placement services, and since we don't live in that town, that we should go somewhere else for these services--we have tried to do this in our neck of the woods with someone this organization provided us before we went to this office yesterday, but no one returns our calls.

Another dead end.

Welcome to a world that I was not born into.

This world has been cockeyed since the pandemic, and it shows no signs of abating.

On a "happier" note:

Today, I have a conference to cover, which kills my entire day, so I am going to cut short today's Rant.

But I will include the latest chapter of my novel for you to peruse.

How am I doing?

Please let me know.

I need some positive vibes, but more importantly, my son needs them more than I do.

Thanks again.

17

Abraham Lincoln Panim and Mrs. Panim made sure Mrs. Stottle had a proper burial at a local cemetery, and even had a custom headstone made for her.

It read:

“To a saint of a woman.

A true educator, teacher, companion and friend.

Do unto others as you would have the do unto you … treat other people the way you would like to be treated yourself.”

The Panims had lost a true friend, and after a period of mourning, it was time to move on. Mrs. Stottle would have wanted them to do just that.

Mrs. Panim went back to school, but it was now time for Abraham Lincoln Panim to decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, and do it without the guidance of Mrs. Stottle, the one friend he had in all the world.

He looked through the want ads in the local newspaper, but always thought that nobody would hire him because of his rat face. He couldn’t keep his scarf on indefinitely, and one day, whoever hired him would find out, and he wouldn’t last very long at any job because of that rat face and the embarrassment it would cause for him.

One day, during their evening walk, Mrs. Panim asked Abraham Lincoln Panim about his future.

“So, what do you think you would like to do with your life?” she asked. “I know you have been looking at the want ads in the newspaper.”

“Yes, I have,” Abraham Lincoln Panim said. “But once they find out about me, who is going to hire me? And if they hire me, once they find out, I will be shown the door.”

“Maybe I can help you,” Mrs. Panim said to her son. “Let me make some calls, do some work on it. Give me a few days.”

Mrs. Panim was tired that particular evening, and she proceeded to go back to the house, but Abraham Lincoln Panim decided to continue his walk, as in the corner of his eye, he had seen someone nearby who interested him.

A long and lean girl with long blond hair had passed him any amount of times while on his late walk, and this time, he saw her sit down on a bench. He also saw her trusty dog with her, a dog which always seemed to accompany her when she did her running.

As she was already sitting, and it wasn’t very far away, Abraham Lincoln Panim approached the bench and sat down at the other end of it.

“Nice night out here,” he said to the girl, hoping against hope that she would reply.

“Yes, it is beautiful out here, perfect for me and my friend here to do our running,” the girl replied, but she did not look at Abraham Lincoln Panim when they spoke.

Abraham Lincoln Panim saw that the girl never looked at him as they continued to converse, and he asked about her dog.

“It is a seeing eye dog. He helps me to see,” the girl said, and it finally dawned on Abraham Lincoln Panim that the girl could not see, and was blind, and was the same girl that he had met when he went to school, and that she was friendly with Brandon Hartung.

“He helps me to maneuver around here, and not bump into anything or anybody,” she told Abraham Lincoln Panim.

“You mean, you can’t see anything?” he asked, as if he didn’t already know that she was blind.

“No, I can’t. I never have been able to see anything, and little Snuff here helps me out, helps me get from one place to another.”

The dog than nudged the girl as Abraham Lincoln Panim moved his scarf a little bit away from his face.

“You know, I kind of know you from school,” he said to her. “I met you on the line the first day, we were on the line together--”

“Yes, I thought your voice sounded familiar,” the girl said as she got up from the bench.

“Ooh, it is time for me to run a little more, and then I have to go back home.”

As she began to run, she said, “Nice meeting you, again,” and began to run with her dog seemingly leading the way.

“What’s your name?” Abraham Lincoln Panim asked, but she was too far away and did not respond.

Abraham Lincoln Panim continued to sit on the park bench for a few minutes as people moved about. He wasn’t the only one taking it easy on one of the benches, as he saw a few benches down, out of the corner of his eye, that there was what he thought was an older woman sitting, too.

He got up from the bench, instinctively looked a few benches down, but the woman was gone, almost as quickly as he had seen her.

Abraham Lincoln Panim went home after that, and he had a lot on his mind.

Mrs. Stottle was still on his mind, and what about his future?

And what about the girl. Would he see her again?

Rant #3,625: Tuesday Afternoon After a Manic Monday, and Then Onto Wednesday Week

Yesterday was a good, slow day for me.

After a busy day of my son's job interviews on Monday, I decided that Tuesday would be a good day to just do what I had to do and that was about it, and thst is exactly what I did.

I did a little food shopping, helped my son apply for a few jobs online--a waste of time as far as I am concerned, but that is how these firms do it--and I also placed a "Situation Wanted" ad in the local newspaper, and is set to run this coming Sunday--

And it ain't cheap. So i hope we get a few responses.

And, of course, I had my own work to do.

I chose Tuesday to do all of this, as today and tomorrow are super busy.

Today, I am going with my son to an organization that helps the handicapped find employment.

Although the office is right here on Long Island, getting there is a big schlep, and I am sure we will be there for a while, so the day will be shot by the time we are done there.

And on Thursday, I have a conference to cover for work, and that kills the day altogether.

It is the first of back-to-back Thursday conferences I have to cover--there is another one scheduled for next Thursday--so my Thursdays are completely shot for the next two weeks.

I will need this coming Friday and next Friday to chill out, and I guess I will have to do that while my wife and I do our big food shopping on those days, followed by my son's basketball league on Friday nights, his bowling league on Saturday morning, and who knows what else?

And yes, my wife went back to work, so like me, while she isn't yet 100 percent, we both need to make some money and do our work.

Again, what is retirement? She is officially retired but I am not--I guess you could say i am "semi-retired"--but whatever it is, it is not what I envisioned when I was younger.

Although I would like to really slow down, I just can't, as I am being pulled every which way for everything.

I have always multi-tasked, but I know I should not be doing this at this level at this point in my life.

But what's a poor boy to do?

Just roll with the flow ... and if our son can find a job, it will make things that much easier for myself, my wife and most importantly, for him.

But in the meantime, today is a time to rev up the motors again, and to hope that that motor remains as strong as ever.

It shouldn't be this way ...

But it is what it is.

Rant #3,624: Cream of the Crop

I am feeling a bit better, but I am not there yet.

I drove my son to his two job interviews; nothing yet, but at least he is speaking to people, and maybe something is forthcoming.

Maybe not, but at least he is being kept active.

During the past few days, with me not being in tip-top shape, I have reached to the past to keep myself busy and to keep my spirits up.

One thing that I rediscovered--in a great new way--is the egg cream, a truly New York/Jewish thing that everyone can enjoy.

I remember my grandfather taking me around the corner on Cortelyou Road in Brooklyn as a little kid to the sweet shop there.

It was very traditional, with the counter and the swivel chairs.

We would order egg creams, and it was like five minutes of heaven as you drank this down to the bottom.

Flash forward to now ... I don't know what possessed me to even think about an egg cream at this period in time, but honestly, I hadn't had one in decades, so the idea floated through my mind ... why not make one of my own?

For the uninformed, don't worry about the price of eggs when you make this, because no eggs go into an egg cream.

All that you need are the right measurements of milk, chocolate syrup and seltzer, and you have an egg cream.

But the real way to make it is to use the right amount of whole milk, original U-Bet Chocolate Syrup, and seltzer that comes out of those infamous bottles, where you squeeze the lever down and it shoots out into the glass (or if you are one of the Three Stooges, into.your face).

Well, I have not had whole milk in the house in years, with skim milk my go-to milk beverage.

I love U-Bet, but I can't have the real thing anymore, just the sugar-free kind.

(And yes, the syrup MUST BE U-Bet. You are cheating yourself if you use anything else.)

And for seltzer, I have to settle for whst Poland Spring offers.

So I figured I could use those ingredients to make myself an egg cream for the modern age.

I got the right glass--it has to be contouring out at the top; think of it as a glass with an hourglass figure.

There is some debate about whether you put the milk or the syrup in first. I chose to put the syrup in first, then the milk, but both must follow the "two-finger" principle: just two finger lengths as the amount for each one in the glass, so we are talking about maybe less than an inch of either one in the glass.

Do not mix the two ingredients together yet!

Then, finally, get a new bottle of Poland Spring Seltzer. Open it up, and pour it in the glass as high as it will go. Do not worry about spillage.

After you pour in the seltzer, then start mixing with a long spoon, and there you have it!

(And don't forget to clean up the mess you've made!)

I was skeptical whether my egg cream would taste that good, or if it was even drinkable, but let me tell you, it really is pretty good!

And the thing about a good egg cream is that it goes down smoothly, and my 2025 version of this delicacy does just that.

I don't use a straw to drink it, but you can. And I do remember some places gave you a pretzel with it, a long pretzel, but I don't need that.

I have vowed that I will have an egg cream every Friday evening, and I will stay to that vow as long as I can find U-Bet Sugar-Free Syrup, which is not very easy to find.

Again, while I was hacking and coughing and blowing my nose, egg creams came to my mind ... I have no idea why, but I am happy thst it did.

Now--

Anyone for skelly?

Rant #3,623: Slow Down

I know, I said I wouldn't be here today, but here I am.

I went to the doctor early, and yes, I have a very bad cold, not bronchitis like I originally thought.

I have some pills to take, some cough medicine, too, and I will be OK, but the doctor told me to "slow down" and take it easy over the next few days.

It is going to be tough to do this.

Today's schedule is a good example.

As you know, I have been helping my son look for a new job, and this task is long, hard and very frustrating.

He had one interview scheduled for today canceled without any explanation--

But it was quickly replaced by two new interviews for today, both later in the day and into the early evening.

With everything else I have to do, there isn't much time for rest and relaxation.

But I do have to settle down.

I actually slept well on Saturday and Sunday nights, assisted by the cough medicine, which seemed to eliminate the constant wheezing I had experienced.

And that was after i had a few short naps.

I did not venture outside at all on Sunday, nor did I shave on Sunday as I normally do.

I just wasn't in the mood, so I will give my face a rest.

I am just trying to listen to what the doctor said.

I do feel fatigued.

I don't want this to get any worse than it is, so I am going to cut this Rant a little short today.

I have a conference to cover on Thursday, and I continue to help my son look for work.

I wish I could fully relax, but it isn't in the cards for me.

And I am going to say this again:

This is retirement?

What is retirement?

I haven't the slightest idea, but it can't be what I have experienced for the past five-plus years.

It just can't be ...

Can it?

Rant #3,622: Fire

I have been burning the candle at both ends, and now, I am paying for it.

Helping my son with his job search, performing my own job duties, and doing other things for my family has pretty much burnt me out, and for the first time in a while, I am slightly under the weather.

I have a cold--or maybe it is an allergy, or a mix of both--but whatever it is, I got it, and my own wheezing at night is keeping me up when I should be sleeping.

I do feel a bit better than yesterday, so I don't believe this will last too long.

What's more, my wife is also under the weather ... but what she has is a bit worse than what I have, and she took off from work yesterday, and probably won't venture outside much today as she prepares--or hopes--to go to work on Saturday.

Our son is fine, I am getting better by the day, and my wife was better yesterday than she was a day earlier, so we will manage.

It almost reminds me of a few years ago, when my wife got the coronavirus pretty badly, so bad that I didn't spend any time in our bedroom for several days, and I slept on an old Castro Convertible in our third bedroom for more than a week or two.

I, then, supposedly got that bug, and it lasted literally 12 hours, so while I officially got it, I think I was misdiagnosed.

So I ended up not sleeping in our bedroom for nearly a month. Sleeping on that Castro Convertible was like sleeping on a wood board, and I still feel it in my back.

Now, we don't have a third bedroom, so we have to sleep in the same bed.

And by the way, our son never got the coronavirus, and up to this point, he hasn't gotten sick from either of us this time around, thank goodness.

So it goes.

I have a busy week coming up. An early doctor's appointment on Monday--having nothing to do with our recent maladies--and our son has a job interview later in the day on Monday--

Later in the week, I have to cover a conference for work--

And who knows what will transpire with our son's job search?

So, I am going to take Monday off from this perch, be ready to go on Tuesday, and I should be OK for the rest of the week.

I have to rest up ... I can't pack into a day what I used to ...

But I am far from done.

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Tuesday.

Rant #3,621: What I Want

Let me tell you, I am soooooo tired!

It is very tiring helping my son to look for work, but he has gotten a couple of interviews, and has one coming up on Monday.

We have found that like it was five, 10 or more years ago, the organizations set up to help the disabled to find work continue to be useless.

They are slow, their sites don't work that well, and this morning, one organization actually told me that my request was evidently directed to the wrong person, and that person--the woman I spoke to on the phone telling me this--would not assist me in the least ... not telling me exactly who i should speak with, just telling me "to go on the Internet," and I still do not have a clue who I should speak with.

Another organization actually gave me an Internet address related to who I should speak with, and when I contacted that person ... well, I am still waiting to speak to him, as he never called me back.

In the meantime, I filled out their application--twice--and neither time I tried to process the information did the site work.

Wasted at least an hour there.

A waste of time, as was going directly to major stores themselves, which brush us off by telling us to "fill out an application online," which in my day was like potential employers saying "send me a resume."

Useless, as his application will certainly get buried and lost in that abyss ... but I applied anyway.

And they got back to us this morning, saying they have nothing for him.

I have some tricks up my sleeve, but I know that based on my own experience, looking for a job without any connections is completely impossible, and looking for a job as a disabled person is even more difficult.

Since I am so tired, I am going to post the next chapter of my novel today.

At least the main character of my novel knows someone, and was able to get a job through that person--

Oh how I wish that truth would mirror fiction in my son's case!

16

Abraham Lincoln Panim and his mother knew the end was near for Mrs. Stottle when the EMTs carried her out of their house, and later that night, Mrs. Panim received a phone call from the hospital, telling them that Mrs. Stottle had passed away.

The hospital called the Panims because they had tried to locate any family for Mrs. Stottle, and could locate no one. Mrs. Stottle had no family, and Abraham Lincoln Panim and Mrs. Panim were the only “family” she had.

“We have one question for you,” said the hospital worker making the call to Mrs. Panim.

“I will try to answer it if I can,” Mrs. Panim sobbed through her tears.

“Well, it is not really a question, but it is … Look … I don’t know how to say this … I don’t want to be crass, but we are going to have to move the body to a funeral home soon … but please, can you come over here, right now? It is of utmost importance that you do.”

“Well, yes, we have to make arrangements, but it is so late—“

“Please m’am, please come over here as soon as you can.”

Mrs. Panim woke up Abraham Lincoln Panim, who wasn’t really sleeping, but thinking about Mrs. Stottle and praying that she would be OK, even though he knew that she was really sick.

The two of them dressed, and went directly to the hospital. They were shown the room Mrs. Stottle was in, and they approached where the older woman was, in a bed near the room’s one small window.

As they approached, with tears falling down both of their faces, they saw that Mrs. Stottle was covered up by her bed blanket from nearly head to toe.

An attendant came into the room and saw Abraham Lincoln Panim and Mrs., Panim at Mrs. Stottle’s bedside. As the attendant approached, so did a few nurses and doctors, all crowding around the bed.

The attendant said, “Thanks so much for coming here so quickly. I mean, you really needed to come here as quickly as possible.

“Why? Does she have to be moved immediately?” Mrs. Panim asked. “I mean, couldn’t this have waited a little bit? It happened just so suddenly … it is so early in the morning—“

One of the doctors stepped forward.

“No, it had nothing to do with that, It had to do with … I mean, I guess we have some questions … maybe you know something—“

Through his scarf which was over his mouth, Abraham Lincoln Panim said, “Please get to the point. Why were we called and asked to come over so quickly?”

The doctor approached the bed and grabbed the end of the bed sheet covering Mrs. Stottle.

“I … well … .”

He lifted the bed sheet, and exposed Mrs. Stottle’s feet.

To various gasps, Abraham Lincoln Panim and his mother saw the exposed feet, and looked at each other.

What the Panims saw were two hooves, much like a horse’s hooves, protruding from Mrs. Stottle under the bed sheets.