Classic Rant #1,218 (May 30, 2014): Here In My Car

Finally.

I finally got my car last night.

I have had it for the past two days, since May 28, but finally last night, everything was completed and it is mine, with my own plates on it.

We still have to send in some paperwork--and we were still at the car place about an hour yesterday, if not a little more--but finally, everything seems to be worked out on this car, and we can close the book on this.

Now come the payments, but I guess there is a black cloud in every silver lining, to coin my own phrase.

The car is nice, but it is a bit too high-tech for me, with all these gizmos and gadgets that I really don't need.

I wonder how much these unnecessary things pushed up the price of the car; I'm sure it was substantially increased by all of these extra things.

Somebody at work told me that he felt the same way I did about his own new car, but over time, he learned to use many of these gadgets, and now is totally comfortable with them.

Maybe that will happen to me too.

Anyway, my wife--my Rock of Gibraltar through all of this, by the way--took the photos you see here, and she seemed to be excited about the new car, too.

It was what I always thought I would get at the right time--not now, which was not the right time--but life sometimes has funny ways of fooling you, and I guess with the accident, I was fooled.

Prior to the accident, I thought I would keep my then-current car for four more years at least, and then start looking for something else.

Well, it did not work out that way, and now I have a new car, but I also have the payments, which I didn't want to have right now.

I guess I should not be complaining. My wife, my son and I are alive, alive to enjoy this new car, and I guess there is truly a God in heaven looking over myself and my family.

I am not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, but I thank God for keeping us on this planet, I really do.

My mom gave me a Chai, the Jewish symbol for good luck, to keep in my car, and I will put it in there.

I need all the luck I can muster right now, and I need to feel safe. I have had some dreams about car crashes since mine happened, but I am getting better each and every day.

Now with a car to use, let me tell you, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I had a bad stomach ache all of yesterday, and within a few minutes of driving the car home, I felt like a million dollars.

Funny how things kind of work out.

Now back to business, no more talk of accidents, no more talk of cars.

Thanks for sticking with me through all of this. Speak to you on Monday.

Rant #2,368: Do the Duck

We are all suffering right now in one way or another.

I told you about my own family's suffering yesterday.

But in suffering, there is always that point where you just have to laugh.

And I mean really laugh.

But my laughter actually comes with some tears.

Yesterday, during the late afternoon or early evening, completely out of the blue--in particular, in light of the circumstances we are all in right now--I received an email that made me happy, made sad, made me happy, and made me mad all at the same time.

I put up this news on Facebook, and did it while I was laughing and crying at the same time.

Here it is in its entirety:

"OK, I have stuck it out for as long as possible, and now my patience hss borne fruit.

I was hired by the Long Island Ducks baseball team as a part-time seasonal worker.

But wait! We are right in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, and we might not have this under control for a long time coming.

Major League Baseball has shut down its operations pretty much indefinitely, and minor league baseball has followed suit, so all this message that I received tells me that I have gotten a position that might not ever truly materialize, putting me back right where I started at square one.

On the one hand, I get that the Atlantic League team needs to be ready with a staff at all levels when and if this situation improves to the point that they can even talk of a season.

That is where people like me come in, and as a (presumptive) new retiree, I will be ready, willing and able to be called on when and if the season ever begins.

But on the other hand, I am in a real nebulous situation with this, because this opportunity might not come this year.

I am taking the position that I am happy that they accepted me, I am ready to go when they are, and I will still continue my full-time position job search unabated while I wait for this part-time, seasonal opportunity.

And heck, if the 2020 season goes by the boards, maybe it will allow me a foot in the door for the 2021 season, when I will be fully, 100 percent retired

But who knows what the future holds ... ?"

Now you can see why I was laughing and crying and happy and angry all at the same time.

I was laughing because I saw the utter frustration of the situation, and I guess I was crying because of that too.

I was happy because for the first time literally during the past five-plus months and even five years prior to that, somebody finally showed enough confidence in me to give me a chance.

I was angry because of this dreaded coronavirus, I might not even get that chance to show what I am made of to the nice people who did the hiring at the baseball team.

So, as usual, I am betwixt and between, between a rock and a hard place, and banging my head against the wall.

But yes, I guess I am happy.

We all need some happiness during these depressive times, and I got my shot of happiness yesterday.

Thanks to the Long Island Ducks for showing confidence in me, and I do really, really hope that I can be of service to them when things get back to normal.

I am going to have to cut this Rant a little short today.

Today, soon, in a few minutes, my son and I are going to venture out into the wild blue yonder and try to do some shopping, not just for the two of us and my wife but also for my elderly parents.

It might be a struggle, although I heard yesterday that while things have not gotten back to normal at the supermarkets, things are a little better, now that the markets have instituted their own rationing system on some goods.

However, chicken seems in great scarcity, and let's see if I can get something for my family related to this fowl (no duck, of course, Long Island or otherwise). I don't eat chicken, but I come from a family of prime chicken eaters (my father was a chicken butcher before he was a cab driver), so it is kind of in their blood.

What happened to my blood, as I hate chicken and always have hated chicken, is another story unto itself which I am not getting into today. I guess I simply do not have the chicken DNA, or something to that effect.

But anyway, let's try to laugh as we wait this thing out.

Laughter is truly the best medicine for what ails you, and I have tried to make everyone in my family laugh a bit during this terrible time.

Heck, I am even trying to get through "2 Broke Girls," watching it each weeknight with my wife.

I don't find it funny, but I am trying to keep abreast of the situation anyway (if you know the show, you know exactly what I am talking about, and it ain't about chicken breasts).

Anyway, stay safe, and I will be here tomorrow to tantalize you with my words as we all go through this mother of all messes ... and even though we are told to stay apart--

We are all doing this together.

Classic Rant #1,217 (May 29, 2014): Here In My Car

Yes, I finally got my new car yesterday.

Sort of.

My wife and I still have to go back to the dealer and get our plates put onto the car.

There is a slight problem on that end of the deal. Don't ask.

Otherwise, the car is mine.

Not only do I get a new car, but I get a new monthly bill to celebrate with.

Just what I needed.

The car is nice, but a bit too high tech for me.

It has all these buttons, knobs, other things that I haven't figured out yet, and maybe never will.

For instance, the dealer was nice enough to give me not only a brand new car, but about an eighth of a tank of gas to usher my new experience with.

I pulled into a gas station last night, and for the life of me, I could not figure out how to open the gas tank.

I looked and looked and looked, but I could not find the button to push to open it.

I left the station, went home, and sat in the car for several minutes until I figured it out.

The gas tank button is on the door.

Duh.

Was I supposed to know this?

So this morning, at about 4:30 a.m., like a nut, I went to the nearest gas station, not the cheapest gas station, but the nearest one.

I put in gas and more gas and more gas ... $67 worth.

I was done, I thought.

No, I cannot figure out how to get the gas cap on properly.

It doesn't "click" like I am used to, and it says right on it all that I need is one "click" to close it.

I think I did it, but I am not sure.

Otherwise, the car is nice, but like I said, too high tech for me.

I used to like it when you could just get into a car, put the key in, and drive away to your heart's content.

The way they make cars now, it is like you are in a jumbo jet and have to ready yourself for takeoff.

Not my thing.

But the car is nice, we just have to get our plates on tonight, and we will be ready to take off.

Err ... I mean drive.

And what car did I get?

A 2014 Kia Optima.

Rant #2,367: Our House

The coronavirus and its impact on humanity hit home--my home--yesterday, when my son was put on "furlough" for two weeks from his weekday part-time job.

I put the word "furlough" in quotes, because they did not use that term. They called it something like a "temporary work stoppage" or something to that effect, but the fact of the matter is that starting today and until April 1, he is going to be at home, and no, he is not going to be paid for his ordered time off.

This lead me to scramble to try to find out if he is eligible for unemployment insurance. He still has a job, the job is waiting for him when things settle down, but he is out of work now, with no money coming in.

And remember, he already gets Social Security as he is developmentally disabled, so this confounds matters even more.

Yesterday afternoon, I first called Social Security, and when you call such agencies, it really is a miracle if you can speak to anyone. Somehow I got through to a representative, but I might as well have been speaking some ancient language than English to her.

"My son already gets Social Security, as he is disabled. What do I have to do now that he has been put on furlough, do I have to report this to you and what about unemployment?"

"You have to report each week about his employment to SSI [Supplemental Security Income, a precursor to Social Security that my son once received before getting Social Security], and you should report that he is now out of work."

"No, you don't understand. He gets Social Security, and does that effect what he gets from Social Security. I don't report on a weekly basis for Social Security."

"You should be reporting on a weekly basis for SSI, and if not, you are in violation."

"M'am, as I said, I don't report weekly for Social Security, haven't since he got it a few years ago, I am talking about Social Security."

"Are you shouting at me? I do not have to take your shouting."

I may have raised my voice to her, because she was not listening to what I had said, but I never shouted at her."

"M'am, if you feel like I am shouting, I fully apologize. But again, I am calling about Social Security, not SSI."

Finally, after a few minutes of going back and forth (I cut this down a bit for your reading}, she finally understood me.

"Oh, you are talking about Social Security. No, that will not effect his benefits right now."

She hung up, not telling me whether I had to report his two week furlough to Social Security.

Moving on from there, I called the New York State Department of Labor, which is akin to calling a dead person on the phone, because that is pretty much the response you get.

To cut this long story short, after not getting through to anyone, I finally called the media number, hoping they could transfer me over to someone who could help me.

I did get an actual person on the phone, but she said that she could not transfer me--but happily, she gave me a phone number that I had not called, I called that number, and the woman I got on the phone very robotically said that she believed that my son COULD apply for unemployment insurance ... again, THOUGHT he could apply.

The problem is now that everything is in such flux, changing seemingly by the hour, that nobody really knows what is going on, and cannot give any clear answers right at the moment.

Thus, based on the council of a few people, including my wife, I am going to table this for the time being, until things are more firmed up and people know what they are talking about.

So I am going to sit on this for the two week period. If he is told not to come to work for another two weeks after April 1, then nobody will have to tell me that it is time to file for unemployment, and I will call Social Security and let them know that my son is out of work, has been out and might be out for a long time.

(And by the way, I also called the local job office, the one that I have used during my own period of unemployment. I got no response from them, and honestly, I don't even know if they are available at this point in time.)

So right now, my son and I are out of work--I have no sense why I still have to "pound the beat," but the government says I have to, so I do--and happily, my wife is working--the banks will never close, although her "friendly bank" scaled back its hours and will no longer be open on Sunday for the time being.

Funny, my wife told me last week that a fellow employee called in sick, and the rumor was going around that she had the coronavirus. It kind of made my wife and fellow employees uncomfortable, since they are quite susceptible to getting any malady, since they both deal directly with the public and they handle the biggest carrier of germs around, which is money, both paper and coins.

Anyway, the woman came back to work, and she was fine, which made everyone feel better.

What did the woman have?

Well, she had some form of Corona virus ... not coronavirus ... yes, she had a little too much fun the other evening, and, well, she had the old fashioned "Corona virus" ...

A real bad hangover.

Case closed ... but as for my son, I still do not know what to do.

Classic Rant #1,216 (May 28, 2014): Out With the Garbage

No, I still do not have a car in my possession.

Evidently, the dealership could not get a "final approval," and thus, I have no car.

Supposedly, the final approval will come today.

If it doesn't, I am back to square one, because I will pull out of the deal and look somewhere else.

Bad karma, they say.

Anyway, as I was preparing to write today's Rant, I thought that a good subject to express my opinions on would be garbage, because I think that that is how I am being treated since the moment the other car hit my car and turned my life upside down.

Let's talk about garbage.

No matter our standing in life or where we live or who we are, we all generate garbage, things we don't need anymore, or never did need.

It all goes into the garbage.

How we get rid of it has changed, at least for me, over the years.

The first time I can remember garbage is when I was a little kid.

We had the metal can in the corner of our kitchen.

The first time I remember actually using the garbage was when my mom tried to pull a fast one over me.

I must have been five or six years old.

I am a very picky eater, and I hate lamb chops.

My mother gave me lamb chops, told me it was steak, and with one bite, I knew that she had been telling me a little white lie.

I remember very vividly going over to the garbage and dumping all the lamb chops into the metal can.

Later on, when we moved to Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, garbage became a bigger part of my life.

It was my job to get rid of the garbage, and what was unique about this place was that there was an incinerator chute on each and every floor of the development.

So all you had to do is collect all of your garbage, go to the door that the chute was behind, open the door, open the chute, and throw your garbage down the chute.

Simple and easy.

Every once in a while, flames would shoot up, and you had to watch that you didn't get burned. But all in all, it was fun to take out the garbage, or at least almost fun.

Then we moved to Long Island, and garbage wasn't fun anymore.

You had to collect it, put it in trash pails that went from metal to heavy plastic over the years, and put all the garbage out on the curb.

The problem is that stray animals--cats, dogs, beavers, squirrels, and heaven knows what else--rip open the pails and devour the contents.

We have used so many different devices over the years to put out the garbage safely, including specially treated garbage bags and bungee chords to tie up the garbage securely.

But the whole process is a real pain the butt.

After I am done here, I have to take out some garbage. I have to put it in the specially treated bags--which cost an arm and a leg to boot--and put it in a pail. I have to make sure that the top is securely on so no animals can get to it.

No, garbage is not fun anymore for me. It hasn't been for more than 40 years, but it is seemingly a necessity of life that a few times a week, the garbage has to be taken out.

Hopefully, after today, the succeeding days that I have to take out the garbage to the curb will find me looking at my car, which will be parked a few feet away from the pails.

That will make taking out the garbage all that much more satisfying.

All I see now is an empty space.

Rant #2,366: Whatcha Gonna Do?

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

No parades, no nothing, because of the coronavirus.

I guess you can still lift a pint, but you will do it in the privacy of your own home, because no bars or restaurants are open due to this virus.

But boy, has activity been fierce at liquor outlets, which are probably doing great business from what I have visually seen.

When I take my son to work, there is a liquor store nearby, and at all times of the day that I am there to transport my son, I see people walking out with cartons and crates of liquor.

Again, not bottles, but cartons and crates.

And using that as an assumption, how do liquor stores have tremendous, seemingly endless stock of liquor, but supermarkets don't have enough toilet paper and other essential items to go around?

And talking about supermarkets, my wife told me this morning that one local chain here on Long Island announced their new hours of operation, and they will be only catering to those 60 years of age and older during those hours.

So you see, it pays to be 62 years of age as I am. My experience, my background and my knowledge is finally paying off for me!

In other ways, of course, I am simply hitting my head against the wall. Looking for employment is tedious enough, but looking for employment when no company in their right mind is hiring is even worse, not just hitting my head against the wall, but literally breaking it through the wall, and not to the other side.

I look because the government says that I have to, so I can collect my unemployment, but if this thing stretches for as long as it just might stretch--the president said July or August yesterday, but he was kind of pushed into an answer, and you can tell, like everyone, he really can't possibly know--then I will be retired by then.

Maybe, as the form letters I get claim, the companies I apply to "will keep my resume on file" if something else comes up, and when things get back to normal, they will already have a ready stream or resumes to choose from.

Yup, and by that time, I, myself, will come up with a cure for the coronavirus.

Fat chance.

And talking about pulchritude, what about all the gyms that now have to close?

My wife, whom by the way, is in great shape, regularly uses a local, 24-hour-a-day gym. She goes in the morning before work, spends a good hour or so there, and then is on her merry way.

I asked her this morning what she is going to do now that all gyms are closed, and she said that she can do some of her exercises here at home, but she hopes the ban won't be for too long.

No, sorry, it is going to be for a long time, much like the Major League Baseball season, which has been pushed back once again, to open in June at the earliest.

I'm afraid that is a just something that they are saying now, but honestly, with what is going on right now, I don't expect things to start to get back to normal until July or August at the earliest, Funny, the president said the same thing yesterday, but like I earlier said, he really doesn't know, and can prognosticate like everyone else can.

Let's just say that the July/August timeframe is right on the money. Do you think things are just going to spring back into action right then and there?

I think that if things get back to normal in that time frame, things really won't get back to "full normal" until several months after that, maybe six months after that. Yes, things will start up once again, things will start to reopen, but to get everything back and running like they were, it could take six months, so we are talking about maybe January or February or even March of 2021.

Yes, so in essence, I believe that we are going to be in lifestyle purgatory for about a year.

You can already forget about 2020, early 2021 is a better bet for our lives to get fully back in order.

About the only good thing about this is that we are told to be isolated from others, and maybe it gives us time to take pause, to slow down a little bit, to enjoy our homes and our families a bit more, to cherish these things that maybe we have taken for granted for far too long.

In my house, i have my wife and son here, and below us, we have my parents.

This group is my true bedrock, and they help me push on through the day in their own unique ways.

I am sure we all have our own person bedrocks.

Let's honor and cherish them during this down period.

I mean, what else do we really and truly have that is stronger than this virus?

Classic Rant #1,215 (May 27, 2014): Nothing Accomplished

It was nice being off of work for the Memorial Day holiday.

It allowed me a little time to breath, something I really haven't had the opportunity to do since my car accident a few weeks ago.

It was great having a barbecue yesterday, and really kicking off what I hope to be a nice summer for myself and my family.

However, my main goal was not reached this weekend.

I still do not have a car.

Due to one thing or another, I don't have a vehicle yet.

My family and I went to the car dealership early Saturday afternoon, and we literally went back and forth with them for more than four hours.

We were then told that the paperwork would not be completed that day, since it was leading into the holiday, and that we would have to come back on Tuesday.

This further fouled me up, as we then had to use my wife's car to get to a wedding we were invited to on Sunday evening.

I don't mind driving my wife's car, but it is a Jeep, and honestly, it is a gas guzzler, and since the wedding was quite far away, it guzzled and guzzled some more.

On top of that, I have to rely on others today to get me to work and to the dealership after work, something that I don't like to do.

And on top of that, I had to cancel an important dentist appointment that I had scheduled for tonight.

So right now, I am not a happy camper by any stretch of the imagination.

But what can you do? I did everything possible to have a car in my possession this weekend, but it simply did not get done.

I didn't sleep well last night, thinking of all of this nonsense, so I am pooped along with everything else.

Let's see what happens today.

Hopefully, everything will be in place, and I will get that car that I so desperately need.

But nothing is guaranteed.

Until they tell me that I have a car, and I drive away from the dealer, I can't be sure that this transaction will be completed today, or any day.

Keep your fingers crossed. Mine will be, and won't be uncrossed until I have that car and drive away with it into the sunset.

And no, that car that is pictured above is not the car I am going for. That was one of the limousines from the wedding we went to.

I hope the occupants had a nice drive. All of this nonsense is driving me to drink, it really is.