Rant #3,237: If This Is It

Things are moving fast where I am right now, and it is truly hard to believe, but today is the last full day that we will spend in the old homestead.

We moved here as a family on July 28, 1971, so we were here--in one form or another--for nearly 52 and a half years, but that ends tomorrow.

So today is the final full day here. 

Having been here myself for 50 of thos years--less two or so years when I was elsewhere--I have some incredible memories of this place,  with the good outdistancing the bad by quite a lot.

I remember my parents, who lived in New York City their entire lives, saw what was happening to the city they loved in the late 1960s and early 1970s, and did not want that for my sister and I.

When we settled in here, I remember the yearly barbecues we had in the back yard with all my parents' friends from the old neighborhood and beyond.

I remember when i wss living day to day somewhere else, not knowing where to turn, and my parents going through the rigorous process of adding a second floor so we would have a place we could really call home.

I remember all the birthdays, the anniversaries, the graduations, and all the great times we had here.

I also remember the bad times, but I guess if 90 percent of your 50 yesrs in one dwelling are great, you are going to have some bad times, so I really can't complain too much.

As I sit here not being able to move around much, all of these memories are going through my head at a rapid pace. 

But it is now time to move forward, and make new memories at our new place.

My heart will always be here, but all good things must come to an end, I guess. 

And we are going to start fresh in the new place, certainly leaner and meaner than we were in this house.

It is time to.pass on the baton to others, and I hope they have 50 grest years in this house as I had.

I wish the new owners the best of luck, and I hope it all works out for them.

The rest of the week.is going to be dodgy because of our move.

I don't know exactly when we will have Intrrnet access all set up in the new dwelling, nor how I am going to hook up our computers being in the condition that I am in.

So, please give me a few days until you hear from me again.

I am sure I will have plenty to tell you about the new place, and how it feels to actually be sleeping in a real bed after three weeks of sleeping in a lounge chair.

So I don't know if I will speak to you again this week or next week, but whatever the case, my family and I will be in our new abode ...

And maybe for the first time in a long time, we will be able to breathe again.

Rant #3,236: Hats Off To Larry

 

Here I am again!

This is where I belong. As my family spends its final days in its long-time abode and sashays into another residence.

I just wish we could really "sashay" into the new place.

I survived surgery, am laid up unable to move much until about the end of this year, and then will have to go through many weeks of physical therapy to be able to walk again--

So right now, at least, I am.not "sashaying" anywhere.

The surgery supposedly went well. 

I not only had major damage to the quad in my left leg, but also to surrounding tissue, so it was like the surgeon was wrapping a package, making sure that all ends met perfectly before affixing it all together.

And supposedly he was able to do that just fine.

I wasn't nervous about the surgery at all. But I have to admit, as it got closer to happening, I was starting to think about it a bit too much for my own good.

I was rolled into the pre-op area, and there were two other people in there with me. I did not have my glasses, but I think one was a woman going through arthroscopic surgery of some sort, and she went to the operation room first.

Then there was another guy going fir surgery, but he had to wait a bit like I did.

Some people came into talk with him first, including the nurse and the anesthesiologist, and in whatever I could pick up from their talking with him that I could hear, "Bob"--I think that is what his name was--was having some sort of cancer surgery.

When I heard that, I thought to myself, "What are you worried about ... this guy is having CANCER surgery ... your surgery is nothing compared to what this guy is going through."

It kind of settled me down a bit.

"Bob" went in before me, and then it was my turn.

I went from the bed to the operating table, was told to take some deep breaths--

And I don't remember a thing until.i woke up about 90 minutes later.

Still under the anesthesia, I remember the first thing I asked for was a hot dog.

"We don't have a hot dog, but we can give you ginger ale and some Lorna Doone cookies," the nurse said to me.

I took her up on her offer, and they tssted so good.

I was out of the hospital that day, and I am now recuperating.

I really can't move my left leg at all, so while it doesn't hurt much. I am a little uncomfortable, more so during the evening, where I am not sleeping much, including on the night of the day of my surgery.

An hour here, two hours there, 45 minutes or so another time.

If I get five hours a night, I have to consider that a good night's sleep.

And as we all prepare for the big day on Wednesday, all I can do is sit here, and bide my time

And it isn't something I am finding very easy to do.

Rant #3,235: Say a Little Prayer

Yesterday evening, I got clearance by my doctor for my operation, so we are a go for tomorrow.

I still don't know the time, but if one can be said to be "looking forward" to an operation, it is me.

I want to get onto the road to recovery ASAP., and getting this done and over with is the answer to my prayers, if you will.

I realize I have a long road to recovery--I was already told four to six weeks, and then physical therapy--but I am ready for it, because I want to be able to walk again.

Also yesterday, i was fitted with like my fourth brace, and this one is the one that I will have to wear after surgery.

I have it on now ... it is uncomfortable, but I guess it will have to suffice.

All I want to do is to get this procedure done and to be able to move on with my life, so whatever it takes ...

Sorry for the brevity of today's Rant, but honestly, there really isn't much more to say to you.

I think that I will be stepping down from my perch here for a few days while I get the operation and begin to recover. 

But I do hope to be back on Monday, all ready to go into the wide blue yonder.

I just want to close out today's Rant by wishing my wife a happy birthday.

She gains a year on Friday, and let me tell you, without her, i really don't know where I would be. 

And I mean that in general.

She has been remarkable through this travesty, but she has been remarkable through our 30 years of marriage.

I love her and wish her the best on her birthday.

And next week, we finally move to our new apartment, so I will have plenty to talk about related to that situation.

So I will speak to you again on Monday.

In the interim, please say a little prayer for me, and for my family in general.

We can use all the help we can get.

Rant #3,234: What Am I Doin' Hangin' 'Round

That is exactly what I am doing ... hangin' 'round until.i have my surgery on Wednesday.

I literally cannot do much of anything.

I sit in a recliner with my legs up, and I can't go into my bed because I might not be able to make it up the stairs, so I am stuck downstairs until the day we move into our new apartment ... and again I am faced with getting up the stairs that the new place has.

But I won't have a choice then ... I am hoping that the surgery allows me more range of motion, and that I can get up the stairs and not down until I have to.

I can't sleep, taking catnaps more than anything else.

So as I type this out, I have slept about two-and-a-half hours, and that is it, and it is about 1 a.m. in the morning.

Maybe writing will make me tired and I can get some more sleep.

Later today, I have to go to be fitted for a brace for my soon-to-be-repaired left leg, and then later, I have to go to by doctor to get fully cleared for surgery.

It is a mess, I am a mess, and I am still days away from being able to post on Facebook, and that is why I am not there.

What I did do this weekend is to get my records organized and ready for the big move.

Look, I had to compromise.

We simply do not have the room for 10 000 or so LPs and 45s, so the LPs will have to go into a storage area in plastic crates--I hope they do not warp--and the 45s are coming with us to the apartment.

Before I hurt myself, I bought a nice, heavy plastic drawer to transfer as many of the 45s to these drawers as possible.

This weekend, my wife went out and bought another such unit, and you can see them in the picture accompanying this entry.

Anyway, I decided that no matter how much pain and discomfort I was in, I was going to transfer as many 45s as possible into these two units.

With the help.of my wife and son--who brought down to me the smaller bins I had these records in in perfect alphabetical.order for years--I actually got up from my chair and filled up these two bins with 45s, again in perfect alphabetical order.

Those two bins have three very wide and deep drawers, and I was able to get all the 45s into the bins working from the bottom and starting with the letter "Z" and working my way forward, I got the bins to hold all the 45s through the letter "E."

(Each drawer is wide enough for two rows of 45s, so the two units house six rows each of 45s, or a total.of 12 rows between the two of them.)

Well, what about "A," "B," "C," and "D"?

In a perfect world. I really could use one more of these bins, but we simply do not have the room.

Prior to my injury, I threw out a lot of clothes, and the clothes I did keep were pretty much put into the top two drawers of the bedroom dresser my wife and I share--and that includes shirts, pants, underwear and socks.

So that leaves my end table--which had housed my socks and underwesr--which is niw completely empty ... but not for long, as this unit will now be used to house the remainder of my 45s.

Whatever excess i might have can go in the bottom drawer of my part of the dresser, but I am hoping that they will all go into the end table.

And I won't know until someone can bring down the end table and I can work.on that--hopefully after my operation.

So at least I was able to do something to contribute to the move even though I really can't move around too much.

It made me feel real good inside.

Rant #3,233: What I Am

Today, I get an MRI on my bad left leg, all.in preparation for my upcoming surgery on Wednesday.

I had another restless sleep, just a few hours of dozing off and nothing more.

But I guess I am holding up as good as I could be under the circumstances.

When I went to the pre-opp session, I was asked a variety of medical-related questions about my health background, but one of the questions i was asked had absolutely nothing to do with my health.

I was asked my religion.

This is a Catholic hospital, and I guess that they feel they have a right to ask such a question, as they prefaced it by stating, "You do not have to say if you do not want to," but honestly, why wouldn't I tell them?

I told them I was Jewish, and we moved onto the next questions, which were much more important in the grand scheme of things.

That happened during the initial phase of the pre-op, but it then came up again later, when the nurse was taking down my information.

"You don't have to tell us, but do you need special accommodations for your religion?" she asked, and again, I told her I was Jewish, but no special accommodations were needed.

(I mean, I am not going to light Shabbos candles or need kosher food in the relatively short time I will be there.)

Again, I guess it is standard procedure to ask a patient's religion in a Catholic hospital, but I can't figure out why this question is being asked in the first place.

If this was a Jewish hospital, would the same question about religion be asked?

I have no idea.

And in these troubled times we live in, where anti-Semitic incidents continue to spiral out of control and upward, why wouldn't I tell the hospital that I was Jewish?

Will I not put up a menorah in the front window of our new residence when it is Hannukah?

Will I be hesitant to reveal my religion to people because I am scared of retribution?

I am not scared, not scared at all of any backlash for being what I am.

And if anyone has anything to say about it, that is their problem, not mine.

I am Jewish, I am proud of that fact, and whether you ask me about it in a hospital or in passing conversation, it is not something that I am ever going to hide or lie about.

If you are hiding who you are, you are playing into the hands of those who want to rid the earth of you---

And why would I ever want to do that?

(And on a much lesser note, if you are wondering why I am not on Facebook at all, the social media network police did not like my post yesterday, stating it violated their rules, so they gave me six days for the violation. 

Please read what I wrote yesterday right here below today's Rant. If you can explain to me how I violated their rules with this post--or any post I have put up there during the past two months--please let me know, because I am completely dumbfounded by all of this.

And yes, someone did bring up that perhaps I have been targeted by someone because I am Jewish, and in today's world, I can't discount such a possibility.)

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Rant #3,232: Get Ready

Yesterday, I went for the surgery prep at the hospital that is performing my surgery next Wednesday.

I just want this entire nightmare to be over.

Everything went well yesterday, so I am ready to go.

My leg actually isn't has sore as it had been, but it still is out of whack, which the surgery will certainly correct.

Since I am in somewhat if a contorted position, my neck and back are hurting me, and not being able to get upstairs and sleep in my bed isn't making me feel any better, both emotionally and physically ... and mentally, too.

I still go over the entire accident in my head I've and over and over again, and it makes no sense.

But it happened. It is what it is, and I will get through all of this.

My wife and son have been great about all of this. They have helped me at every turn, and they keep keeping going.

About the only good thing about this mess us that I can continue to work, which is a good thing for me.

It takes my mind off of things, at least for a little while.

Will I ever get upstairs in this house I have called home for the past 50 years? 

I simply don't know. 

But what I do know is that I am going to have to get up the stairs in the new place, and once I get up those stairs. I will be beginning my new life in our new residence, finally closing the chapter--hopefully-- on the mess that the old house had become to myself and my family.

And that is the goal now: to get out of here in one piece.

I know I can do it ...

There is no alternative.

Rant #3,231: I'm Down

In the condition that I am in, I simply cannot do much of anything, and it is beginning to get to me.

I am sitting on a recliner, with my left leg propped up and really immovable. My left leg has an uncomfortable brace on it, and since I really cannot get anywhere, I am using an old pickle jar for, let's say, emergencies.

I only have to go a step or two to the table, where I can eat and do my work on a laptop computer, and of course, I can type out this Rant right on my phone.

But since I can't get up the stairs of the house I am going to call home for at least the next two weeks, I can't even sleep in my bed, nor can I be around my family unless they come to me ... which they do frequently.

Thank goodness for the laptop computer and the phone, both of which allow me to do "something" and not sit here and do nothing.

I can do my work on the laptop, communicate with others and watch TV on my phone, and I always have the newspaper--which we still have delivered and which my wife gets for me outside in the driveway--to keep me going.

I am managing, but I am not sleeping, maybe taking catnaps but that is about it.

I miss my family being down here 24/7, and I feel terrible that I cannot help out with our move two weeks from today.

One week from today is the day I have my surgery, and yes, I am looking forward to that day, because I want to get back to normal so very badly, and this should be the first step in doing that.

But until then, I just feel like nothing more than a lump.of flesh, and I try to keep my spirits up, but it is darn hard to do so.

I am down right now, but if anyone can kick this thing, it is me.

I promise my family and myself and you that I will do just that.