Raqnt #2,727: The Good Life

How did your Labor Day go?
 
And for those who celebrate, how was the first night of Rosh Hashanah for you?
 
I hope everything went well.
 
My family and I really didn’t do too much over the past few days.
 
As I mentioned in a previous Rant, today, September 7, is the one-year anniversary of my father’s passing, so today is kind of a sad day in my family.
 
My father lived a productive, resourceful, and very successful life.
 
He was devoted to his family, devoted to my mother, and he really enjoyed his nearly 89 years of life.
 
He used to call whatever he was doing related to his family “The Good Life,” and he did live what he believed in.
 
His final year was an up and down one.
 
He was sick, he was well, he was sick and then well again.
 
Heck, he was actually driving a car up until a month before his passing.

(That is his final driver's license photo at the top of this Rant.)
 
He had lost a couple of steps in his gait, and his mind was not as sharp as it had been, but day in and day out, he read his newspaper and looked forward to whatever life brought him.
 
I remember the last time I had a conversation with him. My brother-in-law and I brought him to the hospital in the middle of the night because he simply was not able to stay at home.
 
So we brought him to the hospital, and I stayed with him until he was able to be tended to fully by the doctors and nurses there.
 
He knocked me for bringing him to the hospital, called me every name in the book—and then some—and he clearly was not of his right mind, but through all the harangues that he fired at me, I knew what he really meant to say, but simply couldn’t because again, his mind was pretty much shot at that point.
 
After several hours of watching him, I finally got him to calm down, and he was looked at and put into a room.
 
He fought to the end—I know that because the doctors told me that he did.
 
I saw him one last time in the hospital when he knew I was there. His mouth was dry, and he pointed to the cup of ice that was on his table.
 
I filled his cup with the ice, he seemed calm, and I left him.
 
The day before he died, when he was in hospice, I visited him one last time.
 
He was breathing pretty heavily, but he seemed to be content.
 
I believe he knew that I was there, and I told him everything that I wanted to say to him.
 
I said he was the best father a guy could ever have, and I meant every word of it.
 
I gave him a kiss on his forehead, and I left him.
 
The next morning, a year ago today, he left us.
 
The year leading up to his death was a troubling one, as he was not well, and the world joined him when the coronavirus struck us all.
 
He persevered, but finally, the old Marine could not withstand more sickness.
 
That was an extremely; difficult period of time for our family, and in particular for my son, who like me, was out of work and thus, saw his grandfather disintegrate before his eyes.
 
He visited him once in the hospital, and I honestly don’t know how he got through it.
 
And then, after my father left us, just several weeks later, my wife’s father—another old Marine—succumbed to COVID.
 
So my son lost his two grandfathers in a span of less than 100 days.
 
2020 was a cruel year for us all, but for my family, it could not even be characterized as “difficult.”
 
It was more like "excruciating."
 
We had my father’s unveiling a few weeks back, and the occasion was marked by a lot of tears, but also a lot of laughter. My father would have enjoyed the laughter.
 
We have my father-in-law’s unveiling coming up, so the tears and laughter will be there once again.
 
The past year has seen a rebound by my family and I.
 
My mom, at age 90, has fared very well, and she still has more pep and vim and vigor than people one-third her age.
 
My son and I are working—me with a remote writing job and my son with part-time work--and my wife is contemplating her own retirement, joining me on the sidelines.
 
To this moment, I feel that my father is looking down at us. He seems to be here with us even though we know he is in heaven, but I get the sense that he is here with us right now, in some sense.

He is my personal angel on my shoulder.
 
And right now, I think he has a broad grin on his face, because he is happy that we are happy.
 
I miss my father greatly, but I do feel his presence, and that takes some of the bite out of the whole thing.
 
So this weekend and during the Jewish High Holy Days and today in particular, I don’t look at any of these days as joyous or happy, but heck, I do truly believe that my father is driving a cab in heaven right now, and that he is picking up like minded people, people who were good and righteous …
 
And those that lived “The Good Life” like my dad certainly did.

Rant #2,726: A Time of Remembrance

Labor Day is coming up on Monday, and I have a lot of mixed feelings about the holiday now and forever.
 
The holiday was never one that I looked forward to, because in my previous life as a full-time worker, unlike most people who were having barbecues and swimming and having fun, I had to work on this holiday to get out my company’s major publication of the year.
 
It was difficult work, and I absolutely hated working on Labor Day.
 
But what happened happened, I was out of a job right after Labor Day in 2019, and the holiday took on new meaning for me in 2020, because I wasn’t working anymore, or at least not working full time.
 
But the holiday really took on new meaning for me last year, as on September 7, right on Labor Day, my father passed away.
 
Being that the holiday falls on a different date each year—in 2021, it is on September 6—at least his passing will not actually be on Labor Day each year, but in 2020, it was.
 
So the holiday is a kind of strange one for me.
 
Here is what I wrote about Labor Day in Rant #1,506, dated September 4, 2013, and, of course, it has been edited, simply because most of what I wrote spoke about my having to work on that day each year, and eight years later, that is pretty much a moot point.
 
“Happy pre-Labor Day to everyone!
 
Labor Day does not just honor the workforce, but it also signals the end of summer for most people.
 
Even though we still have a couple of weeks on the calendar before summer actually officially ends, Labor Day tells people that for all intents and purposes, the summer is over.
 
School begins, or has begun for most students, when Labor Day comes, so that also signifies that the fun times are over and the more studious times are here.”

 
And this year is even a more convoluted holiday than normal, as the Jewish High Holy Days begin with Rosh Hashanah at sunset on Labor Day, September 6.
 
This is the most holy and religious time for observant Jews on the yearly calendar.
 
It is s time of reflection, a time of penance, a time when we take account of how we have handled ourselves during the past year.
 
It is a holiday where we look both inward and outward, and we ask God to allow us to continue to mature as human beings into the coming year.
 
This period culminates on Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, which begins at sunset on September 15.
 
Last year’s Rosh Hashanah observance was very difficult for my family, as my father had just recently passed, but we got through it, and I think this year’s observance will be equally difficult, because it comes a day before the one-year anniversary of his passing.
 
But I know that my family and I will get through it, but it will be difficult.
 
On top of everything, we have the unveiling of my father-in-law’s grave in just a few days on September 12. He passed away last December, meaning that my son lost his two grandfathers within just a few weeks of each other.
 
So yes, this Labor Day and High Holiday season is going to be a bit difficult for my family and I, but we will get through it.
 
No, we won’t be having barbecues and swimming and enjoying the holiday, but we will get some type of solace remembering not only what the days mean, but most importantly for us, those who are not with us.
 
So goes life.
 
I am going to take the day off on Monday, so I will speak to you again on Tuesday.
 
Have a great holiday weekend, and please keep my family and I in your thoughts.
 
Thanks. 

Rant #2,725: Roll With the Flow

I had a good sleep last night, so the insomnia that I had lasted just one night …
 
And hopefully will not return.
 
In addition to insomnia, I think I also had a massive brain cramp early yesterday morning, because a major anniversary in my life completely went by me.
 
Yesterday, September 1, was the first anniversary of my retirement, or at least my retirement as defined by the government and by Social Security..
 
I had completely forgotten that yesterday was a year since my retirement officially went into effect.
 
That was such a bizarre period in my life that I might have just put it way back in my brain, but yes, yesterday was the day.
 
I think I didn’t realize it because just six days after I became officially retired, on September 7, Labor Day last year, my father passed away, so you mix the two things together, and it is really a period I would like to forget.
 
There really isn’t much more to say about this anniversary of my retirement, other than to say that I have kept busy and active over the past year, and will do so into the foreseeable future, a future that will see my wife join me in retirement in just a couple of months.
 
She has finally chosen her last day of work for herself, and the day is coming before you know it.
 
I have told her many times that until you are officially retired, you have no idea what you are getting yourself into.
 
No matter how horrible your past job was, there are going to be times that you miss the camaraderie you get by going to it and working closely with your fellow employees.
 
While home, there are going to be days that are busy as can be, but more so than not, there are going to be days where you will have to find something for yourself to do.
 
Sometimes, the days blend into each other, and you have to check the calendar to make sure what day it is.
 
Other days do stand out for one reason or another.
 
But the key is to keep busy, doing stuff that you could not have done when you were working full time.
 
I remember that last tear, in the midst of the height of the pandemic, I would put up videos on Facebook to show people what I was doing to keep busy.
 
I read about so many people who were going completely stir crazy because they were forced to stay home because of the pandemic, and they could not find the least bit of anything to do while they were in their own homes.
 
To this day, I don’t understand that, but getting a head start with my hone confinement put me in a better position to know what to do to keep myself busy while others twiddled their thumbs, not knowing how to take advantage of such an opportunity.
 
Looking back, among other things, I wrote a novel and cleaned up the room where I keep all my records.
 
And, of course, I continued to look for work.
 
I also continued this blog, and after about a year where I was completely out of work, I miraculously got a remote writing job.
 
Back to my wife ... 

On weekends where there isn’t anything set in stone for my family to do, my wife has often told me that she is bored on her day off.
 
I have told her time and time again that since you are in your own house, there is always something to do.
 
And if you are bored during a single day, how are you going to be when you are off seven days a week?
 
She has expressed interest in perhaps getting back to her artwork, maybe taking some classes to get her reinvigorated to do that again, and that sounds like a great idea.
 
My mother often said that the way that I kind of kept my days going, even as a kid, was that I had a lot of hobbies, and when you are retired, it gives you a chance to get back to those hobbies, and really dive into them full throttle.
 
During the past year-plus, that is what I have done, and it really has filled up the time in between my writing and other things I have to do related to my family.
 
But again, there are going to be days where you have exhausted any outlet to find things to keep you busy, and I have learned to just take those days as they come.
 
I figure that at least one or two days a week will be days that I don’t do much of anything, but I balance that with the days that I am busy, and it all puts me ahead of the game.
 
My wife is sure to learn all about this when her retirement comes to fruition, but I have told her and others that you don’t know anything about retirement until you are actually retired, and I am going to stand by that assertion.
 
At least my wife gets to choose when she wants to retire; I never got that opportunity, and yes, it does rile me that I didn’t get the chance to pick and choose when I would hang it up, but there is nothing I can do about it now, even though it continues to gnaw at me.
 
Here are some famous and not-so-famous quotations about retirement that I found on various sites on the Internet.
 
It is very clear that people have mixed emotions about retirement, and that mirrors my feelings on this situation, too.
 
“I didn’t know that painters and writers retired. They’re like soldiers – they just fade away.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti, beat writer of the 1950s and 1960s.
 
“But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.” ― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil.
 
And finally, maybe the best one of all:
 
“He knew now that it was his own will to happiness which must make the next move. But if he was to do so, he realized that he must come to terms with time, that to have time was at once the most magnificent and the most dangerous of experiments. Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre.” ― Albert Camus, A Happy Death.
 
Yes, retirement is not only a physical action, it is also a physical state of being.
 
There is no right way to prepare for it, because we all are preparing for it throughout our working lives … although we don’t realize it.
 
Am I personally used to retirement?
 
I don’t think I will ever be “used” to it, but I think the one piece of advice I can give anyone is this:
 
“Roll with the flow.”
 
There is simply no other way to handle retirement, whether you are able to choose your “due” date or you are thrust into it like I was. 

Rant #2,724: Sound Asleep

I am having a bout of insomnia this past evening.
 
I can’t sleep, although I did get in some shut-eye earlier yesterday evening and into this morning.
 
But the fact of the matter is that I am typing this thing out, and by the time that I finish today’s Rant, it will barely be 2 a.m. in the morning.
 
I have no idea why I go through these things, but maybe the change in the month to September has to do with it.
 
I am being facetious. I know that my sleeplessness has absolutely nothing to do with the change in the month.
 
Quite frankly, I don’t know why I am not tired and wrapped in my blanket and fast asleep, but I do go through these things now and again, so I guess my time was due for such a night.

(I do not have any sleeping disorder. I have been checked for that in the past.)
 
Anyway, I have two updates on stories that I have recently written.
 
The first is about the fellow who interrupted a TV reporter while he was in the process of doing a live report in Mississippi related to Hurricane Ida.
 
This guy pulled his truck over to the side of the road where the reporter was doing his live remote and basically would not allow the reporter to continue, and put the reporter in danger because he got into the reporter’s face, yelling and screaming at him for no apparent reason.
 
Now in the middle of all that is going on as a result of the hurricane, I read that Mississippi police have issued an arrest warrant for this lunatic, who happens to be from Ohio, who will be charged with two counts of simple assault, one count of disturbing the peace and one count of violating an emergency curfew, if authorities can find this dummy, whose name they know, and who has had trouble with the law before.
 
Based on his part, the man could also be in violation of his probation in Ohio, if he traveled to Mississippi without authorization,.
 
But as I said, they have to find this guy first, and seemingly no one knows where he is right now in the midst of the rubble and destruction of the hurricane.
 
Good luck to police in trying to find this proverbial needle in a haystack.
 
The other follow-up relates to the parole of Sirhan Sirhan.
 
As I told you in Monday’s Rant, the State of California has decided to parole the killer of Robert F. Kennedy after decades of incarceration, pending the state governor’s review.
 
His parole is backed by some of the late senator’s children, but now it has come out that not all of the children are in favor of the release.
 
RFK had 11 children, with nine of them still alive, and it has come out that the senator’s eldest son, former Congressman Joseph P. Kennedy II, opposes Sirhan Sirhan’s release.
 
According to the Associated Press, the former Congressman had this to say about the situation:
 
“Two commissioners of the 18-member California Parole Board made a grievous error last Friday in recommending the release of the man who murdered my father, I understand that there are differing views about ending the sentence of this killer, including within my own family. But emotions and opinions do not change facts or history.
 
“I hope the full parole board will reverse the decision over the ongoing review period and that the California governor, if faced with the choice to release him, will keep him in prison to serve out his full life sentence.”
 
I could not agree more, but as Kennedy said, there is even division within his own family about whether the killer of thier father should be released.
 
I am sure that there are also divisions within the general public about whether Sirhan Sirhan should gain his freedom or not, and it should be interesting to see the outcome of this entire situation in a few months.
 
If I were a betting man, I will wager that he will remain in prison, where he belongs, but again, the world is crazy now, and it would not surprise me if he is released.
 
As for me, I am still wide awake, …
 
Believe me, the updates on these two news items were not the cause of my restlessness.
 
I really don’t know why Mr. Sandman hasn’t visited me yet, or at least hasn’t put me to sleep for a longer period.
 
But I have found that when I have these episodes, sitting down at the computer and doing some writing does seem to make me tired, so here I am, waiting for that tiredness to come.
 
So I bid you adieu, and once I am done writing here, I will once again crawl into my bed and try to get some Zzzzzzzzzs.
 
Heck, before you know it, it will be time to get up, so I better do this right now.
 
Speak to you later … .

(P.S.: My ploy worked, and I slept pretty soundly for the next three and a half hours.)