Classic Rant #588 (September 24, 2011): Lion Continues To Roar

This is a kind of dead season for movies.

We are in the middle of all of the summer blockbusters and the holiday super movies, so the fall is like a dumping ground for a lot of trash that couldn't compete at the box office at any other time.

That's one reason you see movies like "Killer Elite" and "Contagion" in movie theaters now. Do you really think that if there was anything good out there that people would even consider seeing this type of trash?

That is also the reason why "The Lion King" is doing so well right now.

This 1994 movie was a box-office blockbuster when it was originally released in 1994. Hand-drawn, it is the largest grossing film of its kind in history, and came out just before computer animation virtually wiped the old fashioned cartoon movies off the map.

It is lush, it is beautiful to look at, and it is a classic in film making of any kind.

Using bits of the Bible and Hamlet as its influences, the film shows the conflict between Simba and Scar as to who will be the eventual leader of the lions. It is a great film for all ages, features nice music, and the vocal talents of a great assemblage of Hollywood and Broadway types, including Matthew Broderick, Nathan Lane and Whoopi Goldberg.

Of course, the film wasn't re-released without a catch. It is now being shown in 3D, the bane of my movie-going existence.

Why? Well, you have to pay more to see 3D films--you pay for a ticket and the glasses--so the box office returns are truly not related to ticket sales, and are pretty artificial.

For instance, this past weekend, "The Lion King" reigned supreme at the box office, taking in $22.1 million, nudging the Brad Pitt baseball movie, "Moneyball," out of the top spot by about $1.5 million.

But it is safe to say that "Moneyball" sold more tickets, because it is not a 3D movie, and, thus, is about $5 cheaper to see per ticket than "The Lion King."

Hollywood gets my goat. Not only do they charge you extra for the 3D glasses, but we have all seen that tub that asks you to return the glasses after seeing the movie. So all you are paying for is a rental of the glasses.

Sorry, I take mine home, even if I never use them again.

I will bet lots of parents took their young children to see this movie. I mean, what else is there for them to see?

"Dolphin Tale," the story of a sick dolphin who gets a fake tale fin, was the No. 3 film in the country, but it got horrid reviews. I guess lots of parents took their kids to see this movie after seeing "The Lion King" the week before.

And yes, it is also in 3D, inflating its sales figure of $20.3 million.

Other than that, there isn't anything out there for families to see, lots of trash before the big movies for the holidays hit the screen.

Me, I stayed home and watched the Yankees this weekend. There's nothing better than staying home and watching baseball than wasting money to see garbage.

And it's not in 3D.

Rant #1,933: Liar, Liar

So now we hear that supposed comic Kathy Griffin has been investigated for her supposed comedic actions of a few weeks ago, where she posted a photo showing the bloodied head of someone who looked very much like President Trump.

Yes, the government has investigated her, and while they probably won't find anything other than pure and unadulterated stupidity behind this insipid action, Griffin is once again pleading forgiveness, hoping that the general public forgets this action and just allows here, as she is quoted as saying, to "make people laugh."

Please, Ms. Griffin, it is time for you to take your just desserts.

First of all, the question still remains, why did she thin, posting a photo of the bloodied, severed head of anyone was funny? It was bad enough that it was the President, but how could she think that this was a comedic act?

Second, why did she come back so apologetic, and then lash out at the President, saying that he was trying to break her? Did she really think that the President has nothing better to do than to answer a comedienne, and a bad one at that?

Now, Griffin is continuing to plead sort of a cultural insanity, asking people to forgive her and to move on.

She claims that not only is the government investigating her--as they should, what she did was a threat to the President and his family, and all threats, even those that are as insipid as this one was, must be looked into--but she also claims that she receives daily death threats.

If what she is claiming is true--and you really can't give her a cart blanche OK on this, because she has proven to not being very credible in what she has said about this episode--then, of course, that is wrong.

But due to her prior stance about this, you really have to question what she is saying, and ask if she is only doing this to drum up some sympathy for her "plight," a path she dug for herself with her stupid actions.

Again--and I said this way back when this all happened--she should really lay a bit low now, let the public breathe a bit, and then come back to the public fore, where she will gain plenty of sympathy.

It has worked for other celebrities--Pee Wee Herman and Mel Gibson are two of them--and it can work for her.

We are a very forgiving society, and she will be forgiven.

But she needs to step away, and step away right now, from the spotlight.

The more she talks and tries to apologize for something that we already know, based on her actions, that she doesn't really feel was such a bad thing, the more she is digging a very deep hole for herself.

Go away for a while, come back, and the public will forgive you.

To make it plain, just shut up already.

Speak to you again on Monday. Have a nice weekend.

Classic Rant #587 (September 23, 2011): Happy Birthday To You All

On some days, the people who are celebrating birthdays is kind of staggering, on other days, kind of interesting.

Today, the list of people celebrating birthdays is kind of interesting.

At the top of the list is Mickey Rooney. Rooney is certainly the last of his kind. He could act, sing, act, dance and do just about anything he wanted to do.

He was perhaps the biggest star Hollywood had in the mid to late 1930s. He made a number of "for the time"-type movies and while his stardom faded over time, he can be called a survivor.

In fact, my favorite movie of his came in the early 1960s: "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," one of the funniest movies ever made.

Amidst all the cameos featured in the movie, Rooney was one of the film's true stars. He played Dingy Bell, who along with Benjy Benjamin (Buddy Hackett), are two friends on their way to Las Vegas. Of course, their course gets interrupted by pure greed, and the rest is film history.

Rooney has been ill in recent years, but I wouldn't count this now 91-year-old out just yet.

Paul Petersen was one of the first teenybopper stars generated by television. His turn on "The Donna Reed Show" as Jeff Stone made him into both a TV and recording star, and he teamed with Shelley Fabares as really the archetype for all the teen idols that followed them.

After the run of the show, Petersen, by his own admittance, fell on some hard times, but he has bounced back, representing other former child stars who haven't been able to come to grips with adulthood.

He has far outlasted the teen idol monicker, and has done so with a lot of grace and dignity as he turns 66 today.

Next we have Bruce Springsteen.

No, I have never been a fan of his, have never jumped on his rock 'n roll bandwagon, but I understand his importance in the history of that musical genre.

This Jersey boy, who turns 62 today, stands as the beacon of light for a dying music. He puts out an album every year or so, tours endlessly, and people absolutely swear by him.

He apparently doesn't have a phony bone in his body. What you see is what you get, which is rare among pop entertainers today.

Another singer I have never gotten into is Julio Iglesias, who turns 68 today.

Some people believe that he is one of the sexiest men alive. I don't know about that, but his love songs--in English, Spanish and other languages--have captivated many from around the world.

Finally, we have Mary Kay Place, a performer whose popularity came in the 1970s.

Turning 64 today, Place was on "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman," one of the revelations of the mid 1970s. This send up of soap operas hit a chord with the public, and while she has been busy since, this actress' career has been defined by her participation in that venture.

Sure, there are others who celebrate their birthday today, but this group stands out by itself as an eclectic group of people who made it during their lives.

Love 'em or hate 'em, when you hear their names, they do conjure up clear images in your mind.

And isn't that their true legacy?

Rant #1,932: Yummy, Yummy, Yummy

What is your favorite fast food establishment?

What is the one fast food restaurant that you just can't live without?

I know, fast food is not good for you at all, yet millions and millions of people frequent these places at least once a week.

They are part of Americana, a part of our social and cultural architecture that you can yell and scream about all you like, but that people seem to love.

This year's American Customer Satisfaction Index, rating fast food establishments on everything from cleanliness to customer service to the type of food they offer, came in with something of a surprise this time around.

For the first time in 20 years, Wendy's does not lead the quickserve burger restaurants on the list.

The chain was unseated at the top by Burger King, whose very nature of not sitting still with its food offerings and always trying something new even if it eventually flops, won over participants in the survey.

Wendy's was still highly rated, coming in right behind BK, but it is kind of an upset that the chain isn't No. 1 anymore.

Chick-fil-A was named the favorite overall quickserve (or as the survey calls them, "limited service") chain, with Panera Bread and Papa John's following closely behind.

Others that ranked highly were Subway; Arby's; Dunkin' Donuts and Chipotle Mexican Grill.

Overall, Burger King was No. 12, Wendy's was at No. 13, and McDonald's was at the bottom of the list at No. 17.

I don't really know what this says about Americans' taste buds, but it appears that people are moving away from beef and moving toward chicken and other non-beef foods, like salads, when they go out to eat.

And no, none of these chains give you change back for your dollar anymore, unless you are looking for change back from a $20 bill.

They aren't cheap, and haven't been for a while, but while people complain about what they offer, to me, they are simply the modern equivalent of the corner diner, candy store or sweet shop of days gone by, places that also didn't offer many "healthy" choices either … but few complained about them.

They exist for a purpose: to feed you when you are on the run, or when you just don't want to cook and can spend a decent amount of money on a meal.

If people really hated them, they would vanish from the American landscape.

And that isn't happening any time soon.

Menus are being adapted for modern tastes, but if you want a hamburger, you can get one.

With a side salad, if you like.

Classic Rant #586 (September 22, 2011): Fiddler On the Roof/Fool On the Hill

It is funny how things that oftentimes run parallel to each other can occasionally run right into each other, and one of these odd occurrences happens this week.

Today is the 47th anniversary of the debut of the classic musical "Fiddler on the Roof" on Broadway. This show, based on the stories of Sholem Aleichem, was the first Broadway show to pass 3,000 performances in its original run with Zero Mostel as Tevye. It has delighted audiences of all races, religions and creeds during its many incarnations, and it spawned a successful movie, soundtrack and other adaptations and revivals.

Broadway is in New York, of course, and so is the United Nations. This week, tomorrow, the Palestinians will formally ask the U.N. to grant it statehood. The U.S. has vowed that it will veto any move in this direction, and President Obama has said that the road to statehood for the Palestinians is through negotiation with their neighbor, Israel. Israel agrees to negotiate for peace, but the Palestinians want statehood now without any participation in the peace process with its neighbor.

How odd that these two events should run head on!

Fiddler on the Roof--a musical with music by Jerry Bock, lyrics by Sheldon Harnick, and book by Joseph Stein-- is set in Tsarist Russia in 1905. The story centers on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his family and Jewish religious traditions while outside influences encroach upon their lives. His three older daughters are perhaps the earliest incarnations of the modern woman, as each is strong willed and hell bent on making their own decisions in life. Each one's choice of husband moves further away from the customs of his faith. All the while, Jews are not thought of as full citizens in Russia, and the Tsar serves to kick them out of their village.

Israel and its neighbors have been in conflict since the formation of the Jewish state in 1948, and have actually been in conflict for centuries. Through various wars and other conflicts both big and small, Israel has not only fought off its attackers, but solidified itself as one of the strongest countries in the world, with armed forces that are the envy of many countries. Built on pretty much barren land, the Israelis used their knowledge to make this land truly one of plenty, even as they have been at odds with their neighbors, who have tried to annihilate them. The Palestinians are a people that no country in the Middle East have wanted to call their own, and they live in constant turmoil with the Israelis.

So we have both an old view of the Jews, years before Israel was formed, running into the current situation, where Israel has yet another Arab enemy to contend with.

Many believe the Palestinians are an oppressed people; others look at them as terrorists. They want statehood, but have never formally recognized the state of Israel.

The Jews know about oppression, the Palestinians proclaim that they are oppressed. Israel allows Palestinians to work and live in its environs and counts them as among its citizens; the Palestinians rue the day that Israel was created.

What do you do?

Look to Tevye for guidance, that's what you do.

The Palestinians should look to this fictional character for guidance. I know it's simplistic, but it is what it is.

Tevye constantly asks God for guidance, whether it is for killing a goat or related to the whims of his daughters.

And God seems to always have an answer for Tevye, which he voices through song: "If I Were a Rich Man," "To Life," etc.

Tevye believes that God has asked him for patience, to understand each situation as it comes to him, and to look at both sides of the equation.

And when his daughters want to get married to men who he believes are not right for his daughters, God asks Tevye, again, for patience, for understanding both sides of the situation, and for his eventual blessing.

So should the Palestinians. If they want statehood, then they must sit down at the negotiating table. They must recognize Israel, basically giving the Jewish state their blessing.

Like Tevye, they don't have to like it, but for the good of his family--and in the Palestinian's neck of the woods, for the good of the Middle East--they should just accept it.

Again, I know that is simplistic, but perhaps simplicity is needed to solve this age-old conflict.

Because without some type of compromise, Israel has no reason to negotiate with the Palestinians. What are they to gain from this?

Everyone wants peace in the Middle East, but the Palestinians must learn that peace is not obtained through terrorist activities like car bombs, suicide bombs, using women and children as decoys, etc.

Those are terroristic acts of violence, and have nothing to do with peace.

And until they understand that--and vow to clean up their act, recognize Israel as the nation that it is, and live as neighbors with the Israelis--peace will never happen, and statehood will be nothing more than a pipe dream.

As Tevye says, "God be with you."

Rant #1,931: Return To Sender

I have returned!

Yes, my vacation is over, and everything gets back to "normal" today.

Boy, am I looking forward to that!

Anyway, my family and I had a really, really nice vacation.

Yes, there was the driving of hundreds of miles to our locations and than hundreds of miles back to home, but you know what, it was fun doing a combination road trip/staycation this time around.

After actually going to the movies to see "Wonder Woman,"--which we thought was a very good movie--our vacation began by driving to Senoia, Ga., a suburb of Atlanta.

Senoia is a quaint, quiet town, but what isn't evident on the surface is that this little backwoods town is very well known in Hollywood circles, and lots of movies and TV shows are shot there ...

Including the latest TV phenomenon, "The Walking Dead," on AMC.

That was the reason that we went there. My wife--not me, not our son--is a huge fan of the show, and the town has actually set up tours related to the series, so we booked one of the tours to begin our vacation.

The town has literally been taken over by the series, and everything is geared toward the show in Senoia--even the length of the grass in front of homes is regulated to give the show a real, eerie feel.

Many of the shops in the town reflect the show's zombie theme, from the coffee shop to the restaurant there, an eatery owned by a few of the show's actors.

But the town is also historic in itself, and the walking tour we took reflected on that aspect as well as "The Walking Dead" aspect, and my son and I enjoyed it nearly as much as my son did.

We also enjoyed all of the ways the tour guide described how scenes were shot to make them look real, and all the information we received about other series and movies that were filmed there, including "Driving Miss Daisy" and "Fried Green Tomatoes."

It really was quite interesting, and let me tell you, it really surprised me that it was so good.

Our next stop was a bit further north, to Myrtle Beach, S.C., one of the great tourist spots on the Eastern Seaboard.

We were supposed to go there last year, but our Korea trip knocked that off our radar.

Our son really wanted to go there, so this year, we were able to oblige him, and let me tell you, we had a ball there!

We did all the "touristy" things one is supposed to do on a vacation, and Myrtle Beach obliged us.

The town has turned into a combination of Orlando and Downtown Disney without the parks, and we did so many things there that almost literally put a "T" on our backs, labeling us as tourists.

We visited the wax museum, the aquarium, and the water park.

We went to what they call "Broadway," their version of Downtown Disney, and shopped in the shops, ate in the Hard Rock Cafe there, and literally just soaked in the atmosphere.

We also ate at a restaurant called "The Tilted Kilt," which we didn't realize is a "breastaurant"--an industry term, not mine--for restaurant featuring scantily clad waitresses, a la "Hooters."

And that restaurant not only featured excellent food, but was as G-rated as it could possibly be ... eye candy that you didn't need to chew, if you know what I mean.

We spent just a few days in each location, so then we headed back home. The driving was difficult, but we made it home when we wanted to, and then the third part of the vacation began, our staycation, which was more a staycation for myself and my wife, as my son went back to work while me and the Mrs. had a few days left to enjoy being away from our jobs.

We went to a few barbecues, had one ourselves, and basically, we just chilled out for a few days.

It was fun, but the day of reckoning has now come, at least for me, as I have to go back to work today. My wife has one more day to go before her own return.

As I have said before, this vacation, to me at least, was perhaps the most important vacation I would ever go on.

With a completely uncertain future at work, this might be the last vacation I take for a long time. I wanted it to be a great vacation, with no troubles, no headaches, and no thinking about the future, just the present.

And the vacation was all that, and more.

I have to thank my wife and son, who realized how much I worry about the future and bought into what I wanted this vacation to be.

We had an absolutely great time, and with a few wrinkles--we got major league lost driving home for about an hour, but we righted ourselves in due time--it was a trip that I will never, ever forget, one that I would do again in an instant.

I hope everyone's Independence Day was great, and now, I am back for the duration, so look for me each and every weekday here.

Speak to you again tomorrow.

Classic Rant #585 (September 21, 2011): I Left My Heart … Somewhere

In the latest chapter of "Shut Up, Don't Leave Your Day Job," crooner Tony Bennett decided to become a diplomat yesterday, and in the process, caused an uproar that could be heard from New York to, err, San Francisco.

In a bizarre interview with shock jock Howard Stern on satellite radio, Bennett proclaimed "we caused" the 9/11 attacks and said former President George W. Bush admitted to him the Iraq war was a mistake.

"They flew the plane in, but we caused it," the 85-year-old singer told Stern on his Sirius Radio show Monday night. "We were bombing them, and they told us to stop."

Bennett's controversial answer came after Stern asked Bennett, a World War II veteran, how the U.S. should deal with the terrorists responsible for toppling the World Trade Center. "Who are the terrorists?" Bennett said. "Are we the terrorists, or are they the terrorists? Two wrongs don't make a right."

Bennett went on to describe a night in 2005 when he claims then-President Bush made an admission to him about the Iraq war. The two were at an event at the Kennedy Center honoring Bennett. "He told me personally that night that, he said, 'I think I made a mistake,' " said Bennett, who was appearing on the Stern show to promote his new album, "Duets II," and whose granddaughter concurrently has an art exhibit opening in Manhattan.

The singer said he believed that the President made this revelation because "he had a special liking to me," said he agreed with that assessment. "To start a war in Iraq was a tremendous, tremendous mistake internationally."

We know that Stern often gets people to say things that they would never say out loud, only think about.

And he certainly did that to Bennett, who spent a good part of yesterday denying that he said anything wrong.

Of course, people who were directly impacted by the terrorist attacks have been taken aback by the crooner's comments.

Bennett is not a diplomat, he is a singer ... a singer who was born in Astoria, Queens, and has basically made his nickel on one single song, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." He is not a politician, not a legislator.

If he really believes what he said--and I have my doubts the octogenarian performer even realized the gravity of what he was saying--then he should just shut up.

The 10th anniversary of these attacks was just a few days ago. To voice such tripe right now, even if that is what you really believe, is pretty stupid, don't you think?

His granddaughter, who is worried that her grandpa's big mouth will ruin her exhibition, said that her grandfather was a lifelong Pacificist, and is against any type of war or retaliation for such an act. And she left it at that.

Well, maybe she left it at that, but you just know that people won't forget this slip of the tongue by a guy who should be singing, not mud slinging.

Shut up and sing. That is what I would tell Bennett to do the next time he feels the need to have diarrhea of the mouth on the national airwaves about something he knows absolutely nothing about.