Classic Rant #117 (October 23, 2009): Let’s All Do “The Mouse” For Soupy Sales

Well, another icon from my youth is gone.

Soupy Sales passed away. He was in his 80s and had been in ill health.

If you are under 50, I don't think you can possibly understand the cultural significance of Soupy, but I will try to explain.

Soupy was a kids' show host in the 1960s, when every station in America seemingly had their own legion of kids' show hosts. They would show episodes of The Three Stooges, The Little Rascals, and they would talk to you as if they were your father or grandfather, telling you what was right and wrong.

In the New York viewing area, there were two hosts in particular that fit that mold: Captain Jack McCarthy and Officer Joe Bolton. Each was in the "grandfather" mode, and each day after school, everyone would turn on their shows to both hear their wisdom and to see the Stooges and Rascals.

And then there was Soupy. He was sort of the rogue in this stable, as he wasn't grandfatherly, and even if he imparted any wisdom, it was with a sly wit. He was sort of a thorn in the side of anyone with a "true-blue" feeling of right and wrong, and his show delivered Soupy's meaning of life with a mischievous streak that could not be found on those other shows.

And he had White Fang and Black Tooth and Pooky and many other characters, and his show was hilarious.

And he had pies. He became so nationally well-known that everyone wanted to get pied--even Frank Sinatra.

And he had a semi-hit record, "The Mouse," which helped bring him national fame. It was a top 20 record in New York, and it landed him on a number of variety shows in the 1960s, including The Ed Sullivan Show and Hullaballoo.

He also had the top rock acts on his show, as he was quite musical himself.

Soupy's humor treaded a very thin line way back when. Once, he innocently asked for kids to send him "those little green papers" in their dads' wallets. He received one dollar, was suspended for his actions, and all of us kids forgave him even if our parents didn't, and watched him when he came back.

By about 1966 or so, he had become too popular for the show. He went on to do movies, and later did a lot of radio, a medium where he started out his career decades before. He was also omnipresent on just about every game show that there was in the 1960s and 1970s.

But it was as a kids' show host that I will always remember Soupy. And yes, I use just his first name, because by coming into my living room every day on my family's old Dumont TV, he became my friend, albeit through that box in my living room.

I actually met Soupy about 20 years ago. We talked about his divorces, my own divorce, and videos that he was putting out at the time. He said much of his footage had been lost, but that people contacted him all the time about finding stuff in their attics and garages. He was truly happy that some of this material survived, and you can find a lot of it both commercially and on YouTube.

Anyway, rest in peace, my friend. This guy, who is 52 years old now, will always be a kid at heart because of you.

Rant #1,464: July 4 on July 5

How was your holiday weekend?

Mine was fine, relaxing as could be, and yesterday, I went to bed at 7:30 p.m.

I did nothing on July 3, and I mean nothing, during the day part of Friday.

My wife worked that day--has today off, by the way--so my son and I did nothing ... until the evening, when the three of us visited my father in law in the hospital.

He has a broken hip--actually two, but he is in there for the second one--and we visited him, and then came home.

On the actual holiday, July 4, we did some shopping, like a lot of people.

But we just didn't shop to shop; we had a purpose.

Out son finally has gotten a job, with Home Depot through the Ken's Krew program.

It is only part time, for two days a week, four hours at a time, but it is a start, and better than having nothing.

We are sure it is going to work out, and we shopped to buy him clothes for his new job.

If nothing else, he will be the best dressed worker that his particular Home Depot has, and we know it will go further than that.

He begins his job today, and he is raring to go.

And then, later that day, we did the all-American thing to do on July 4 as far as food is concerned--we ate Chinese food.

Well, there were barbecued spare ribs as part of our order, so we did not forego the barbecue tradition of July 4 entirely.

I also watched the "The Loves of Dobie Gillis" marathon on the Decades channel off and on during the weekend. I always enjoyed that show; it was really something different than what was on TV during those years of the late 1950s and early 1960s, and now as an adult, I think I get the show even more now than when I watched it as a kid.

And Bob Denver is a real hoot as TV's first real slacker, beatnik Maynard G. Krebs, and you can see the beginning of the Gilligan character in his portrayal of this show. People forget about the Krebs character when talking about Denver, but the "Gillis" show was actually the first of the two shows where Denver's character is called "little buddy," by Dobie himself (Dwayne Hickman), so let that record be straight.

And, of course, I watched the Yankees, who somehow, are in first place in their division.

As the weekend moved on ...

July 5 was our big day.

We had my sister's family over, as well as my aunt, and we had a nice barbecue--hot dogs, hamburgers, the usual stuff.

The weather was good--Saturday's weather was pretty lousy for a good part of the day, so it worked out well for us on Sunday.

I cooked and cooked and cooked, and it was hot and I was perspiring pretty well.

Once that was over with and everyone had left, I went into the bedroom, watched some TV--and promptly conked out.

The next thing I remember was that the TV was on, my wife also had gone into the sleeping mode, and I had to shut the TV off--but not before getting up and telling my son that it was lights out early because he had work the next day.

I don't remember much else, other than I obviously went back to sleep, and didn't awake until my usual 4 a.m. arising.

So the holiday weekend was a good one, and I wish I had off today to be with my wife, and see my son off to his new job.

But back to work I go, back to the "salt mines," as Fred Rutherford on "Leave It To Beaver" used to call his place of business. He worked with Ward Cleaver, Beaver's dad, and to this day, I am not sure what they did for a living, other than the fact that they were always reporting back to the home office--insurance, perhaps?

Anyway, I hope you had a good Independence Day, and I will speak to you again tomorrow.

Classic Rant #116 (October 22, 2009): Zipper Up For Safety, Zipper Up!

Why is it so difficult for some famous guys to keep their pants on when dealing with the opposite sex? I really don't understand it.

The latest such incident involves Steve Phillips, current ESPN analyst and former New York Mets GM. He supposedly had a three-week affair with some lowly recent college grad who has worked for various sports-oriented services during the past few years.

The problem is that this lady has an extremely big mouth. She has blabbed to anyone who will listen (and you known the media loves this stuff, so they listened) that she had this relationship, and she even had the audacity to contact Phillips' wife and try to contact his child on Facebook (another reason to hate that service).

Anyway, Phillips has taken a leave of absence from his ESPN gig, and his wife as filed for divorce.

Believe me, Phillips does not deserve anybody's pity. He has been caught doing this before, when he was the Mets GM.

And the woman does not deserve anybody's sympathy either. She has said something to the effect that she would do anything to get ahead, and I guess that means sleeping with the proper person.

A few weeks ago, David Letterman got into the same scrap, and throughout recent history, many, many others have been tripped up and fallen hard when their affairs became public. Some have been able to get up and brush themselves off, like Ted Kennedy; others have taken a nosedive into oblivion, like Gary Hart.

I simply do not understand why these guys can't foresee problems when they get involved like this. I know that young ladies may be very tempting to them, but you have to resist the temptation. "Look, but don't touch" should be their motto, but it isn't.

And these young girls, as I said before, really don't deserve any sympathy from anyone. I mean, don't you think they know exactly what they are doing?

I guess it's just that when you pair up males and females, you are going to have indiscretions.

I just wish that the guys would think of their wives and families before doing this, and I just wish the women didn't think they needed to do this to get ahead in the world.

Rant #1,463: July 4 on July 2

Summer has started, and we are all revving up for the July 4 Independence Day celebration.

Like many people, I have off tomorrow, so I just have to get through today at work, and then I am in for a good, old fashioned three-day holiday weekend.

But I want to start the holiday today.

I went through some past July 4 posts, and I am going to rerun one of them, Rant #996 from July 3, 2013.

After a little bit of editing, it pretty much sums up what I am feeling today, as it did two years ago, on the cusp of this holiday.

"What are you doing on July 4?

Well, what I can say is that I am doing next to nothing, which I think is pretty good, at least for me.

I don't have to go to work, so at least I can get off that hamster track for one day.

Thus, if I don't have to go to work, I can pass on two things that I abhor: wearing a tie and shaving, at least for one day.

I can sit at home and do little or nothing, which is exactly what I plan on doing.

Anyway, I will probably watch some baseball on TV.

Baseball and July 4 go together like peanut butter does to bread.

You thought I was going to say "and jelly," but I hate jelly.

Anyway, we will have a barbecue.

Barbecues and July 4 go together like ... well, peanut butter to bread.

We always have a barbecue on July 4, because it is the traditional thing to do.

My wife, who doesn't eat much red meat but is not a vegetarian, eats her one beef hot dog that day.

Hebrew National, of course. (It's not what you see in the photo accompanying this Rant, but I did my best.)

I like Nathan's hot dogs, but Hebrew National is my choice for the best commercial hot dog on the market today.

It simply tastes better than other hot dogs.

And it is kosher, supposedly, so it is held to a higher manufacturing standard.

Later that night, we will hear fireworks all around us, and we might watch fireworks on TV.

I am not as excited by fireworks as some people are.

To me, it is little more than a lot of noise.

And then, that will be July 4 for me.

And we also have July 5 off this year, since July 4 in 2015 is on a Saturday.

Then it is Monday, we will all go back to work, and it will be as if July 4 never happened."


And let's not forget, we are celebrating everything it took for our country to win its independence on July 4.

All the blood, sweat and tears it took for us to be independent.

In today's day and age, independence is something that should not be taken for granted.

With mind control wielded by the PC Police, our independence of thought is being abridged, and July 4 is a day not only to celebrate our nation's independence, but the fact that we are not robots, and we can think for ourselves.

Please keep those things in mind around the barbecue on July 4.

Speak to you again on Monday.

Classic Rant #115 (October 21, 2009): My Comic Book Collection

As a kid growing up in the Rochdale Village co-op development in South Jamaica, Queens in the 1960s and early 1970s, only two things mattered to me: sports and my comic book collection.

Today, as an adult, many things matter to me, but one thing that doesn’t matter that much to me anymore is my comic book collection.

I still have the collection, some 2,000 comics mainly from the 1960s, but also from the 1950s and the 1970s. Most of them are DC comics, although I have plenty of Marvels, and also such labels as Dell, Charlton and Gold Key.

The comics have been sitting in a closet in my parents’ house for nearly 40 years. I have tried to sell them as a lot, with mixed success. I did sell about 50 of them about six months ago, but that has been it.

I tried to interest my kids in this collection, but today’s kids aren’t into comic books. Comic books today are pricier than when I was a kid, when they were a dime, then 12 cents, then 20 cents, and annuals were 25 cents. The people who are reading comic books today are generally older, and they are still highly collectible, especially those from the World War II era and the early Marvels from the late 1950s and early 1960s.

I would still like to sell the comics as a lot, which means you get both the good and the bad. You will get lots of Superman, Batman, Spider-Man and Daredevil, but you will also gets some Archies.

If anyone has any interest in this collection as a single lot, let me know. I would like to sell the collection, but I won’t take pennies for it. I want something substantial, maybe averaging out to at least two or three dollars a comic book.

Yes, these are tangible items from my childhood, probably the last vestige of things from my youth, mainly ages 7 to 14, probably the best times of my young life.

But they are sitting there, collecting dust, while they could be enjoyed by somebody else.

Yes, I am looking for a good home for these comic books. And if I don’t find one, they can sit in that closet and grow old as I grow old.

Maybe my future grandchildren, if I have any, would be interested …

Rant #1,462: Scam Alert

 
I just wanted to alert your attention to a new scam that is being perpetrated on ordinary citizens ...

By their local newspapers.

Yes, your local newspaper, the one you get delivered to your house each and every day, is trying to pull something, and we cannot let them get away with it.

I know that I didn't.

As you know, my family and I were away on vacation about two weeks ago, and we were gone for a total of eight days or so.

We get the local newspaper delivered to our home each morning, so as I always do, I put a stop on that, so I wouldn't have newspapers delivered while we were gone.

I have always done this, because why would I want a paper delivered when I wasn't home?

OK, fast forward to last Friday, when I received my bill for the month.

It looked rather high, especially since I had put a stop on the newspaper for eight days.

I called the newspaper, and spoke to a representative there.

I told her that the bill looked awfully high, especially when it was supposedly "short" eight days of newspapers.

She told me that yes, I had put a stop on the physical delivery of the newspaper, but since I have an Internet account with the newspaper, and, presumably, Internet access while away, I still had to pay for the newspaper while gone.

After scratching my head, I told the woman that there was no way I was going to pay for Internet access to the newspaper, because, quite frankly, I had no Internet access while gone.

I mean, we went to the Bahamas and Grand Turk, for goodness sake, we were in the water for days, and no, I had absolutely no Internet access while away.

And then I also told her that on the menu for stopping the paper, there is no way to let the paper know that I wanted not just a stop, but a complete stop, because I was not going to have Internet access while away.

I was pretty upset, as you can see.

After going back and forth on this for a few minutes, she finally agreed, and took off the charges I supposedly accrued while on vacation.

Look, this is a scam, clear and simple. And with a touch tone phone menu in use, they should provide the ability to tell the newspaper that you want a complete hold on your account while away, not just a physical newspaper delivery hold.

Sure, this only amounted to a few dollars of difference in my bill, but to not let the public know that a stop doesn't mean a full stop anymore is clearly wrong.

Don't let your local newspaper get away with this.

When you go on vacation, make sure a stop is a stop, and not what amounts to a partial stop.

I never had this problem before, so obviously, this is something new, at least with my newspaper.

Funny, even while I took vacations where my family and I were in the U.S., the newspaper was the last thing I wanted to read while away.

Now, even if I don't want to read the newspaper, they assume that I do, and that I will read it online.

That is just plain wrong.

Let them know about it.

There is no reason why you should be fleeced like this.

Black and white and red (yes, red) all over; that is what I was, and I am still incensed by this.

Don't let them get away with it!

Classic Rant #114 (October 17, 2009): And the Balloon Has Burst …

I know that by now you have heard about the story of the “balloon boy,” who supposedly stowed away on an errant balloon that he supposedly released into the skies last week. His family showed major concern for the safety of the child, an all-out panic ensued, and it ended up that not only wasn’t the six-year-old in the air with the balloon, but he was safe at home as a participant in an elaborate scam that involved his parents trying to pitch an idea for a reality show, and using this incident to interest parties who could make their dream come true.

I will not use the family’s name, because they don’t need any more publicity. The parents are extremely sick people, and perhaps they need the book thrown at them for these two idiots to understand that involving a child in your scheme for fame is not the right thing to do.

These dummies have been courted by the broadcast networks before, and the networks should be ashamed of themselves for doing this. I believe the family was on a network reality show where parents from one family are “swapped” temporarily for parents from another family, and the network cameras record all the fun and hilarity and panic that ensues from such a swap.

How much fun this is! I guess I could kick myself for missing this show.

Anyway, the parents call themselves amateur storm chasers, and I have read that the father believes that there are skeletal remains of human beings on Mars.

Yes, this is the type of person the networks should be courting, shouldn’t they?

For their latest escapade, the Heenes (oops, I did say their name after all) should be prosecuted to the highest extent that the law allows. I don’t know if they realize this, but it costs money to send out a manhunt like the one that was used to find their “missing” child. People are diverted from their normal routines. Law enforcement is tasked to find this child.

All of this is not free.

Throw the book at these two idiots. And yes, that includes removing the children—in addition to the balloon boy, I believe there are a couple of other kids, all relatively young—from the parents authority, at least for a short time, and have Child Protective Services keep an eye on this family for years to come.

Anyone who decides to sacrifice their child for the goal of becoming a “reality TV star” is not a parent. Sure, they can have kids, but I wouldn’t call them parents.

The best thing about this whole scam is that the balloon boy basically spilled the beans on national TV before throwing up a few times.

Heck, the kid is six years old. I think George Washington is looking down on him with a broad smile on his face.