Rant #3,192: Mind Games

I finally crashed last night into this morning.

After several nights of having an unsatisfying sleep, I finally went into slumber overtime, and I woke up about an hour later than I normally do.

Not good, because I am on something of a schedule here, which revolves around my mother’s needs.

I couldn’t even shave today like I wanted to do, and before you know it, her attendant is going to be here … and right now, I have no time to do much of anything, because my mother will soon be up and about.

Since she will be up, I have to prepare breakfast for her, and I will have to stay with her for a reasonable time until the attendant arrives—

And then I have to take my son to work, and then, I plan to do my family’s food shopping, so I won’t be back to the house until late morning.

I am kind of used to all of this after months of doing it, but when I wake up an hour late, it makes things even more difficult.

I did not immediately conk out yesterday.

I watched the AEW Wrestling show that they have on TV every Wednesday night, and even though I usually pass out on that show at about 8:30 p.m. or so, last night, I ended up watching the entire show, which is where everything related to sleep—or not sleeping—began.

This particular show was, in my opinion, the best two-hour weekly show that the organization has ever put on TV—there was just so much going on during this show that I simply had to stay up to watch it through.

They are planning for next week’s wrestling show—called “All In”--at Wembley Stadium in England, where they will probably fill the stadium with 80,000 fans, making it one of the largest wrestling shows ever, and certainly akin to WWE’s yearly “Wrestlemania” extravaganza.

The main event pits challenger Adam Cole versus champion MJF—from Plainview, right here on Long Island—for the AEW championship, and there are also a number of other matches that look pretty good, too.

So yesterday’s show was a buildup to that, where they had matches that led to announcements of matches on that England show.

There was blood, guts, a lot of yelling and screaming about nothing … but it just kept me going until the show was over at 10 p.m.

Then I tried to go to sleep, and was pretty much unable to do so.

I guess I was wound up from that show.

It took me about two hours to get to sleep—probably at midnight—and I did wake up several other times from midnight to 7 a.m., when I finally got up—so it was not a restful sleep, but whatever I got from it, and however long it was, I guess you can say that I crashed, sleeping way past when I normally get up.

It is a bit difficult to sleep right now anyway, as not only do I have a lot on my mind, but we have a monitor in the room so we can see how my mother is doing when she sleeps, and while it does allow us to keep tabs on her—she has gotten up and fallen a few times, although she normally gets up, goes to the bathroom, and crawls back into the bed and goes back to sleep—it seems we always have one eye on the monitor, and the other eye closed for sleep.

It is not ideal, but it is our way of life now.

And as for my mother, she really is improving in every way possible.

Her vital signs are excellent, she is moving around more, she is eating more, and the best thing is that she is in absolutely no pain.

She has been examined on about a weekly basis, and no one can believe that a 92 year old is at this level of physical shape, especially based on where she has been over the past several months.

But the dementia that she has is really casting a pall on everything, and right now, it is no better and no worse than it was a few weeks back, so her mind is in something of a holding pattern while her body continues to improve.

But her attitude is just so positive that it leads me to believe that the sky is the limit for her, and we just have to give it time to see where she can go with all of these obstacles in front of her.

Dementia is a cruel disease, and it takes no prisoners at all.

It can affect you or I at any time in our lives … or completely bypass us.

It is sad to see a mind eaten away by this, but if there is one person who can leap over this malady and make this situation as good as it can be, it is my mother.

I am totally convinced of that as I see her get better physically by the day.

Her mind might be Jello, but her tenacity remains, and that makes everything better for all of us.

I just hope that she can continue on her long road to wellness for as long as she wants to do so.

My mother is my main focus right now, and she is doing so much better that it is truly remarkable.

I just wish her mind wasn’t playing games with her, but let’s take it one step at a time.