Rant #2,472: Cold As Ice

Ding ding!

As kids, we all knew when the ice cream man was coming into our neighborhood, and when we heard the bells resonating from the truck, we knew that it was time to get together our pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters and run to the ice cream truck to get the cool confections offered by the truck during the hot summer.

Good Humor was our preferred brand, even though other trucks crowded our area too. But there was something about Good Humor that fed into our own personal good humor, and whether it was ice cream or ices--Strawberry Shortcake or a Firecracker--Good Humor was our main ice cream outlet.

I remember that our driver was Frank, a nice older guy--at least to us he was older--who wore the white outfit with the hat with glee and a lot of aplomb. He happily doled out the ice cream to all of us, and his smile was infectious/

Then one day, Frank wasn't there anymore.

A younger driver came out of the truck, and all of us kids asked him where Frank was.

"Frank died," the younger driver told us.

It was never the same for us.

And it continues to be never the same all these years later.

Case in point: on Good Humor's 100th anniversary, the venerable ice cream brand has added race and politics into its operation, changing its tune heard on the trucks because some have complained that the song that they used was racist.

"Turkey In the Straw" was the long-time tune heard on these trucks--honestly, I don't remember it coming from Frank's truck, but maybe it did, I simply do not remember--and some claim that the song was widely performed in minstrel shows, with white singers in black face, and the song was modified to contain racist lyrics.

But no, even if that actually did happen--I wasn't around in the 1800s, so I can't attest to that--the lyrics were never part of the music emanating from the Good Humor truck, only the music. And it is not part of the original song's lyrics, as demonstrated at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsnZxfkkoKQ

But of course, in today's world, where not just this song, but EVERYTHING has racist undertones, Good Humor almost had to take action, because in this cancel culture, if you don't remedy problems that you never paid attention to before, well, you will be canceled yourself.

So, they have employed a black rapper--I only use the term "black" to emphasize that they aren't using a "white" rapper to remedy a supposedly racist problem--and they now have a new, up to date jingle that will only rankle those who are into, well, maybe classical music or opera or monk recitations.

Here is the new jingle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=broo2NZmiDE

It was created by Wu-Tang Clan's RZA, not only to update the jingle and bring it into the 2000s, but also to erase a jingle that lasted for a century before there was even any whimper whatsoever that it was racist.

And the song itself, isn't racist per se; it is racist when its lyrics were changed.

So stupid. So sorry. So idiotic ... I think I will cancel Good Humor out of my ice box.

And while we are at it, isn't the name "Wu-Tang Clan" racist too?

Sure, "Clan" is spelled differently than "Klan," but I object to it anyway, because I want to.

Change that name! It offends me and millions of other people who never gave it a second look before this moment.

I wonder what the next thing will be for people to be offended about?

"Seek and ye shall find," I guess.