Rant #1,973: Goin' Down

Since Labor Day is coming up on Monday, I thought that I would let you in on a little secret.

I need a new job, and I need a new job pretty badly.

I allude to it every now and again here on this blog--the most recent time was two days ago when I supposedly gave you the "progress" of my job search--but times have gotten desperate, or at least nearly so.

I guess it isn't much of a secret at this point, but just to reiterate to any newbies here, my place of business, at which I have worked for nearly 22 years, is not operating on steady ground, and we could go out of business at any time--tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.

But we are goin' down, that is for sure.

We have a skeleton staff here, and there are so many omens for disaster here, I mean, where do I begin?

Our salesman left about a month ago, so there is no way for us to get advertising--our lifeblood, since we are a group of a few trade magazines--without a dedicated person working the phones.

We have had two deaths recently: one, a former employee of fairly recent vintage who was in a car accident, and the other, an employee here for eight years, who evidently died at his own hand.

Since November 2016--when this place got rid of two long-time employees who totaled about 50 years of service with the company--and we left one of our buildings to move into one facility, with all of us--14 people now, down from about 40 or more just a few years ago, working under one roof--I have been looking, searching and spreading myself out to the nth degree looking for another line of work.

And by the way, our 401K plan was stopped around this time, we no longer get bonuses, raises, or anything to keep our spirits up, and I have finally extricated myself from our company's health plan after being told for 21 years that it could not be done.

I have found that looking for work today is oh so very different than it was when I first started working at this place in 1996. Everything is done electronically now, and to date, I must have sent out about 250 resumes answering want ads from legitimate Internet-based employment sites like Indeed and Monster.

(And yes, there are some phony sites out there, and I have received some spam for my toil.)

I have also sent out a couple of "blind" employment requests to companies I have worked for in the past, I have spoken to people I used to work with, and I regularly scour the job notices for something, anything, that I can move into.

I have also applied for a few jobs out of my field.

Right now, all these months later, it has really been to absolutely no avail.

It is as if I have not sent out a single resume, not answered a single, solitary call to fill a job ... nothing has come my way.

Since November, I have had exactly two--count 'em--two face-to-face interviews. One was for a job that I was screened for incorrectly, it being a part time job, and the interviewer even admitted to me that I should not have been called for this position; the other, I was interviewed for only one reason: so that the company could say that they did not discriminate by age in their hiring practices (since someone else at my work went for the same interview, I know that I am right, because he concurs with me from his own personal standpoint).

I have had two phone-only interviews: one, again, another company that was not going to hire me for any reason, but they could check off some things on the list of "you must do's" when looking to hire people; and the other, I interviewed for a job I never applied for (I applied for other jobs at the company, but not this one, so somehow, I got into the mix for the wrong job), and while it was about the most pleasant interview I have had since I put out the call for a new job, it led nowhere (no surprise).

I had one person call me in the middle of work, it was bad timing, I left a message on the person's answering machine, and when the person never got back to me, I called again from my car the same day on my way home from work, only to find out that the person I called "was not there" and the one person I did speak to did not know of such a job even existing.

Another time, I went to the interview, only to find that the company I applied to made a mistake on the time of the interview, and that since I was not there when they thought I would be there, there would be no interview (I wrote extensively about this episode several Rants ago, and I am not going to go into it full throttle again, but just let's say that this punk outfit actually justified their mistake--which I proved to them was their error--by saying I was not "a good fit" for the company, anyway.)

The latest bit of nonsense I can blame myself for, but you know what, if I am to blame, then so is the company I applied to, and using hindsight, it is probably better off what I did. Recently, a company actually sent me an email stating that they wanted to set up a phone interview with me, I responded, and I was asked a question that I should have never answered via an email: "What are your salary requirements?"

I went back to the actual job posting, and no, a dollar figure for salary was not mentioned there.

I sent back my email with my requirements, and I got back a message that the person was not in that day.

I waited a few days, got back to the person, and she told me that not only was she out that day, but she was in meetings since then, and she was sorry she did not get back to me.

She said that she would get back to me "tomorrow" about setting up a phone interview.

Well, she did get back to me, but in a very staccato reply, her message was, "Sorry, but your salary requirements exceed the $xx,xxx that the job is allotted. Good luck to you on your job search."

I knew I made a mistake right away by giving my salary requirements in an email, but with a reply like that, I had to respond.

Which is exactly what I did. I thanked her for her interest in me, and said if anything came up in future "that fit my salary requirements and abilities," she should not hesitate to call me.

But I also added that it would have been easier on all sides if the salary for the job was listed--I would never have applied for the job in the first place if I knew that the salary was going to be a fraction of the next to nothing I already make while with my present company.

Again, I am still working. Much of the day I sit around and do nothing at work, because quite frankly, there is nothing to do. I spend a lot of my day looking at the emails I get listing job openings, and yes, while at work, I do send out my resume.

Happily, there are days that ARE busy, but the less busy days truly trump the busy days by a lot.

This Rant is being typed by me in the morning, when I usually write up my Rants, but with a little ingenuity, I could actually do this during the work day if I chose to.

Yes, that is how off and on busy I am, and I truly wish I was busier--it would make the time go faster, that's for sure.

And again, yes, I am working right now. I do not want to move to a job where I am making less than what I am making now, not just less, but like I said, a fraction of what I am making now, and what I am making now no one would believe someone with my background, education and experience is earning. I should be making at least a thousand dollars for every year of my age, and I am not even close to doing that.

But that being said, the walls of this place are coming down on all of us here, the work environment is as toxic as it can be, and morale is non-existent.

I have earned the respect of some here, but others are exceptionally nasty, and respect to them is what you give to them but they do not have to return to you for a job well done. And I am pointing the finger directly at the hierarchy here, who squeeze you as much as they can, but when push comes to shove, they think they can hire someone off the street to do our jobs (and we have been told this in the past, by the way).

I have been through some episodes with people here that I won't go into now--one, very recently, that really perturbed me because when people have to justify their idiotic behavior, you almost know that you are correct in what you have done, no matter what they say--but like I said, this place is toxic.

Let's not mince words. I am 60 years old, I am in a business that is not on the cusp of greatness anymore (if it ever was on the cusp) and is considered old fashioned in 2017, and we cover a field--military resale, which is military stores, exchanges and commissaries --that few people even know exists.

The government is clamping down on this business because many consider it a waste of taxpayers' money, and perhaps it is just that.

But its resonating effect is that I cannot get a job anywhere.

I have been through this before. In the late 1980s, I was out 18 months after the real estate market went belly-up. I did everything I am doing now--no Internet, so I sent out resumes via the U.S. Postal Service--but back then, I was so desperate that I went on radio and television on job shows looking for work, and I even handed out my resume at the local Long Island Railroad station looking for something, but all to no avail.

When I would be lucky enough to land an interview, as the days progressed to weeks and then progressed to months, the first question at the interviews I had would invariably be, "Why have you been out of work so long?"

Try answering that question over and over to those who have never been out of work and are out of touch with reality ... it isn't an easy task.

I did eventually get hired, but I took a tremendous pay cut, and when I was excessed from that job after nearly four years there, I was out for three months right after my son was born in 1995, and the first job I got paid me all of $7 an hour, a supplement to being an overnight newspaper deliverer and making hardly any money from that, either.

I then was offered this job, initially was paid lower than anyone at the company was paid at the time for doing what I was doing--they lowballed me because they knew how desperate I was to get out of a $7 an hour job--but I persevered, working my way up to my current "lofty" pay status.

Right now, as you can tell, I have had it, had it up to here with this job search stuff.

I have thought time and time again about just simply abandoning the search for a week, or a few weeks, and maybe when I came back, my batteries would be recharged.

But I cannot do it, because I feel I would be leaving myself and my family in a lurch; I am living on borrowed time here as it is, and wasting a week not looking is an impossibility.

So as we approach Labor Day, let me thank all of those who have stood by me during this rough period, in particular my beautiful wife, my son and daughter, and my parents, who all listen to every word I have to say about this subject and cringe as much as I do.

I thank those who have sent their ideas and leads to me, many of which I have followed up on, all to no avail.

But the time has come, and I do need a new job.

You would think that after the roller coaster I have been on that I would lose confidence in myself; the funny thing is that I am human, and there are times when I do get down on myself.

But generally, I know what I can do, and I know that I can do better than what I have right now.

Look, salary is very important, but while I am still working, I have to use what I am getting from my current employer as a barometer for what I think I deserve.

If and when I lose my job, all bets are off on the salary thing, but let me tell you, for all the supposed jobs out there, few are offering commensurate salary for the job they want done.

Understanding that, I would even take a lateral move just to get out of here, but alas, I know what happens: potential employers look at my resume, they can figure out that I am at least in my 50s regarding my age, and my resume goes in the out box.

The local paper has a daily section where they highlight new hires in the geographic area that they cover, and generally, the pictures that they have of these people show that most of the new hires are in their 20s through their 40s, simply based on the photos.

I know that this is not 100 percent true, and that older workers do get hired. My sister, who is a few years younger than I am, just got a new job, in the bustling special education field, but it's mostly people like my daughter--29 years of age, also in the education field--who get hired.

And yes, it also has to do with the field. Education continues to be a great field, but when I was in it more than 30 years ago, I could not get a job, either, even though I was an accredited teacher and had my New York State teaching license. Student rolls had dropped considerably in the early to mid 1980s, and I was an English teacher, and if there was any call for teachers, it was in the science field.

I subbed in a number of schools, but the pay was terrible, and anybody who has subbed knows that it is the worst job in America, as you are the bane of existence to not just students, but also to many teachers and administrators.

I even applied in New York City, which was experiencing a decline in the number of teachers they had, and I was told, point blank, "You will never get hired to teach in the New York City school system because English is a dead language here."

(I kid you not. My friend, a then-New York City school teacher who ended up teaching for years on Long Island and recently retired, will back me up on this, because he actually took me to the Board of Education to fill out forms and present my credentials.)

Back to the present time ...

I have no ins anywhere--never have had any ins in my entire life, come to think of it--so I have to do everything on my own.

I have not had a raise in at least 10 years, I have no chance to get one at this place, and at this writing, heck, I don't even know if we are working on Labor Day.

Look, I am a writer, and a writer writes, and this blog allows me to write about what I want to write about, and no, I don't make any money off of this site at all, I do it just for fun (if you want to call this particular nearly 3,000-word Rant "fun.").

The way I look at it, maybe someone with an open mind will see this, and think that perhaps they could give me a chance.

It is worth the risk.

Let me just add that I enjoy what I do at my place of work. I like the writing, the editing, the placement of stories in the publication I work for. It is interesting work, I enjoy the diversity of what I write about--one day I could be writing about government regulations, the next day I could be writing about women's activewear--and I like the fact that my writing, my editing and my work is seen by government officials and also many people both here and overseas.

I am happy, and very proud, to say that although my official job title is associate editor, that I am really, and truly, a WRITER.

However, things are not what they once were. I am better than my current situation, way better than this abyss I am in, but although you have to roll with the breaks, when you are on the bottom like I am right now (or at least near the bottom), you can only look one way, and that is up.

And that is what I try to do each and every day of the week.

Thanks for reading what amounts to a stream of consciousness Rant, but I think you get my point: I need a new job, I am not getting any younger, and I am also not getting much of a chance to show anyone what I really can do.

Those are the breaks, I guess, but let me tell you, I am far from broken.

Have a nice weekend and holiday, and I will speak to you again on Tuesday (on Monday if I have to work that day).