Rant #1,972: Brandy Is Alone Again (Naturally), But Is She The Long Cool Woman In the Black Dress?

Since this is the 1,972nd Rant here since this blog started, I figured I would veer off course of Hurricane Harvey and look at what were the top 10 singles on the Hot 100 chart in Billboard magazine 45 years ago.

Yes, "45" is the operative word, or number in this case, because that is what music lovers were buying back then.

The top song in the country for the week of August 26, 1972 stands as one of the most beloved and remembered songs of the decade. "Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" by Looking Glass rose to the top spot this week. Although the band had a few other chart hits, most people think of them as a "one hit wonder," and you can't really argue that. This was their defining musical moment, and this is simply one of the best songs of the entire era.

That song supplanted the previous week's chart topper, Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Alone Again (Naturally)," as the most popular song in the U.S. This song came in at No. 2 for the week.

The Hollies had a long string of hits both in the U.S. and Europe, and they continued that string with "Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)," which this week hit No. 3. It was a bit more hard-rocking than most Hollies' tunes, but it hit the mark as one of the biggest hits in the band's history.

Al Green brought his smooth soul to the chart as the No. 4 single in the country for the week with "I'm Still in Love With You."

Rounding out the top five was the hard rocking "Hold Your Head Up" by Argent, a band led by Rod Argent, one-time member of the Zombies.

Another top soul number was at the No.6 position on the chart for the week, as Luther Ingram's "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want To Be Right" held that position.

One of the hottest acts during this period was the Carpenters, and Karen and Richard scored another big hit with "Goodbye to Love," which came in at No. 7 for the week.

Harry Nilsson had been around for a while as a singer/songwriter, and people were finally latching on to his quirky tunes, with "Coconut" reaching No. 8 for the week.

The No. 9 song in the country was done by an emerging performer who died way too soon. Jim Croce hit paydirt for the first time with "You Don't Mess Around With Jim," and one has to wonder where his fertile musical mind would have taken listeners. He passed away a little more than a year later.

Rounding out the Top 10 singer/songwriter/actor Mac Davis' "Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me." Davis had written for many artists, including Elvis Presley, and he was finally getting some recognition as a performer himself with this hit tune.

The highest debuting single on the chart was another smooth soul number. Bill Withers' "Use Me" entered the chart at No. 80, and it would rise as high as No. 2 in a few weeks time.

The "Biggest Mover" on the chart--the song that moved up the most places on the chart in the span of one week--was Three Dog Night's "Black and White," which jumped from No. 47 all the way to No. 23 this week. It would eventually hit No. 1 on the chart by mid-September.

I was 15 years old at this point in 1972, in high school and really discovering my new world in a neighborhood that I had moved into just a year earlier.

Looking at the chart for this particular week, there really isn't a bad song on it, and listening to the radio and hearing these songs put me firmly in the middle of what was happening musically during this time.

Some would say that the chart was a pretty bland one, but hearing most of those songs today, most if not all the tunes hold up pretty well.

Speak to you again tomorrow.

Classic Rant #626 (November 29, 2011): Through the Hoop

Now onto some better news ...

The NBA's 2011-2012 season will actually be played.

On early Saturday morning, the owners and players agreed, in principle, to a deal which would salvage the season.

Again, this is a tentative deal, and if it passes both the owners' and players' wrath, we will see a 66-game season this year, beginning on Christmas Day.

I am happy that the NBA season might be saved, but I wish they would have waited until this thing was 100-percent approved by both parties.

But I know why they announced a tentative agreement when they did.

It was the Thanksgiving weekend. People were out to shop 'til they dropped.

And now, they had a reason to buy NBA merchandise.

You can bet that merchandise sales--like T-shirts, jackets, hats, and every little chotchka imaginable--dropped while the two sides were haggling.

People were getting turned off big time.

But now, with an agreement supposedly in hand, people could show confidence again in the NBA, and buy its merchandise with pride.

There is always a tie-in to why things happen, isn't there?

The owners seem to have won this duel. They got their percentage of basketball-related income--BRI, another new acronym that we really don't need--to a more manageable level, and that is really all they wanted, wasn't it?

Sure, there are other things that they wanted, but this was the big thing, carving up a billion-dollar pie to their advantage.

But, raspberries to both sides.

With so many people out of work, underemployed, and miserably employed, and with so many people finding it hard to put food on the table during this prolonged recession that we are in, for millionaires to be fighting with billionaires like this puts them out of the realm of reality.

At least baseball gets this, years after their own strike, and ratified their own collective bargaining agreement without any fanfare or acrimony at all.

More importantly, all the industries that feed off an NBA season, like ticket takers, vendors, and restaurants, took a hit with this.

Of course, the players and owners claim they care about these people, but, c'mon, do they really? If they did, they would have settled this thing a long time ago.

And again, it is not yet a done deal, so while I would love to get some Knicks tickets for my son and myself, I am not reaching into my wallet just yet.

Let's see what happens.

Rant #1,971: Bits and Pieces

With Hurricane Harvey continuing to dominate the news--it will continue to bring many more inches of rain to Texas and now to Louisiana--it is really difficult to focus on anything else, but we will try, with little tidbits that don't really require full-length stories,

Newsman Knocked For Reporting of Looting in Hurricane Harvey Areas: ABC News Chief National Correspondent Tom Llamas has been accused by some of being a snitch in telling police about looting in the Texas areas heavily impacted by the hurricane.

Evidently, Llamas reportedly saw masked intruders looting a store, and he told the police about it, and put it up in a message on Twitter. Some people took offense at this, stating that there was a great difference between people stealing things and people who were in such dire need that they took things to survive.

Oh, here we go again ... the PC Police actually having the nerve to differentiate between "stealing" and "taking."

Llamas later clarified his statement on Twitter, saying, that he wanted "to clear things up ... we were with police who had discovered a dead body, and mentioned we saw people with faces covered going into a supermarket nearby."

Evidently, Llamas did not call police, but what he did do was notify authorities that he was already working with to get the clearest story on the hurricane that was possible.

He continued to get barraged by negative comments on Twitter, and he took both messages down because of the backlash.

Again, the PC Police are about, even in a tragedy like this, trying to explain that "stealing" and "taking" are two different things.

The only thing I have to say to the idiots that knocked Llamas is this: If these people broke into your house and started to remove things from it, would it be "stealing" or "taking?"

Gas Prices Starting To Rise: Although many people are trying to rip our nation to shreds over this thing and that thing, one thing to remember is that even with this nonsense, we are, in fact, one nation, and this is being witnessed during the Hurricane Harvey saga.

Sure, the weather may be perfect in your neck of the woods, but you are going to feel the wrath of Harvey one way or the other, too.

Since so many refineries are in the affected area, and with so many of these having to stop production due to the storm, gas prices are going to be going up.

If this has not hit your local area yet, it will be hitting it soon.

Over the last week, the average price of gas in the U.S. rose to $2.38, a five-cent increase, and experts predict that gas will rise during the next couple of weeks between five cents and 50 cents due to the situation.

Sure, there are gas stations which take advantage of such situations immediately, really too quick to be believed.

One gas station by me raised its price by 15 cents literally the day after Harvey hit Texas. I don't understand how this can be, how the hurricane impacted its price literally 24 hours after the storm hit hundreds of miles away, but this gas station saw fit to raise its prices.

Soon, whatever gas most gas stations have will have to be supplemented with the next shipment, and that is where you are going to see the prices rise.

And you just know the hurricane is going to greatly impact prices in other areas, including at the supermarket, and even if you plan on taking a plane somewhere during the next few months.

So get your wallets out ... you can thank Harvey for having less money in your billfold, whether you live in the affected area or you live in New York, in Washington State, or in the Midwest.

Strange Occurrences on TV: I woke up this morning as I always do, early, around 3:30 a.m., to get ready for work and to do things that I need to do to reach the point that I can leave the house and not have to think about anything I did not have the time to do.

After getting dressed, I always put on the CBS Overnight News, which then leads into another national newscast and then into the local WCBS news.

But this morning, I noticed that there was no CBS Overnight News; it was replaced with a rerun of "The Young and the Restless" soap opera.

At the end of the soap opera, it segued right into another half hour of national news, but evidently, the CBS Overnight News was not on for some reason, a reason that I can't yet figure out.

I notice as I am typing all of this that WCBS, our local New York affiliate, has gone out here and there, and I am wondering if the local station is having some technical difficulties and was unable to show the CBS Overnight News because of that.

No mention of it has been made on the news shows that followed the errant "The Young and the Restless," so I--and probably many other viewers--are left to wonder what happened.

Is it related to Hurricane Harvey? I don't know, but as I said, even though this storm took place hundreds of miles away from where I am, it is impacting everything, so why not blame it on Harvey, too?

Update on My Job Search:

That is all for today. Speak to you again tomorrow.

Classic Rant #625 (November 28, 2011): Glad the Holiday Is Over

I always look forward to the Thanksgiving holiday break. It gives me four days to recharge my batteries, and when I go back to work, I dive right into whatever I am doing.

And it is great to have four days off to share with my family.

Well, this year, I am not happy to say that I am glad the break is over. It wasn't the greatest holiday in the world for me.

Oh, yes, I did what I normally do. I bought everything I need for Hanukkah prior to the holiday and prior to the dreaded Black Friday. And I really did well. I got everything I wanted to get for family and friends.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at my sister's house this year. Although we didn't spend that much time there--my mother is a little under the weather--it was fun.

REMAINDER OF POST REMOVED BY REQUEST.

Rant #1,970: Can't Live Without My Toilet ... and Affection

The remnants of Hurricane Harvey continue to pummel Texas, dropping many more inches of rain on this area that is already saturated with water.

I heard on the news this morning that tomorrow, state officials are looking for their first break in the aftermath of this storm, and the assessment of damage can finally be made.

And it looks like the first day that people can start to rebuild their lives.

Me, I just had to worry yesterday about my home toilet.

While the world was watching Houston and its surrounding areas trying to make it through one of the worst storms in history, my family and I had to make it through a day without our toilet.

Well, not really, and I know the comparison really is not a good one, but the only somewhat valid comparison I can make is that when you are used to something, and it is taken away from you, it can throw you off kilter a bit.

No, that is not a good comparison at all, but I guess I am looking at some levity in a bad situation.

If you are also looking to maybe crack a smile a bit about what has happened lately, you have come to the right place.

What happened is that our toilet basically broke, not the full toilet, but the plunger that enables whatever damage we have done in there to flow down the pipes and out of the house.

For years, we have had a very, very slight minor problem with our toilet. You had to hold down the plunger for a few seconds to get the stuff down, because for some reason, we had a short chain inside the toilet, so you couldn't just hit the plunger and the stuff would go away.

No big deal. We did it for years, when we had guests, we told them to hold down the plunger for a few seconds and everything would go away, and it really wasn't much of a bother.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that the toilet was making some noises, and it kind of fixed itself, but it was an omen for what was to come.

On Sunday night, the noises came back, and we could not flush the toilet without manually going into its tank and putting the rubber portion of the plunger over the area where the water went out and came back in.

(Obviously, I am not a plumber, and I have no idea what these things are actually called, but I think by my description, you can probably figure it all out.)

Anyway, it wasn't the chain--which was still taut and holding--but it was the rubber piece that had eroded to the point that it could not find its "destination" anymore.

I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I noticed that the sound was still there, and I had to, once again, manually put the rubber piece over the hole.

Later, when I woke up to get ready for work, the same thing happened, and when my wife woke up, I told her about it, too.

Later that day, my son posted on Facebook, "Why doesn't the toilet flush?" and we had to do something about it.

Not being mechanically inclined at all, a plumber was called in, and later in the day, he fixed the whole thing by putting in a new plunger apparatus, for lack of the real term that it is called.

So last night, we finally had our toilet back to us.

I fell asleep pretty early last night, so I only first used our new plunger when I woke up this morning to get ready for work.

It works well, and after many years of having to hold down the plunger, it felt almost weird to not have to do that again.

It is so nice to have our toilet back and in working order. You really don't realize how you miss such conveniences until they go on the blink.

My father talks about his childhood, when he lived on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and he lived in a building where not every apartment had indoor plumbing, and people had to wait in line to use the bathroom.

I can't even imagine such a situation, so the one we had yesterday was peanuts as compared to what others have had to go through simply to use the bathroom.

But nonetheless, it was a major inconvenience for us, and I am glad it is fixed.

No, it is nothing like what is going on in Texas, but I have always thought a little levity makes any bad situation better, and after writing for two days about Harvey, it was time to laugh again.

Now, if you want, you can flush this Rant down the toilet, but at least you won't have to hold that plunger down to get rid of it.

Good luck to the people of Texas. They are going to need all the help they can get.

Classic Rant #624 (November 23, 2011): How Will You Choose To Celebrate Thanksgiving?

Well, it is the day before the Thanksgiving holiday.

And the day before the day before Black Friday.

How do you choose to spend your holiday?

My family and I will be celebrating the holiday at my sister's house this year. For the past several years, we have made the big turkey at our house, but this year, it will be over at my sister's abode.

My parents will be there, and it will give me a chance to see three of my nephews.

I don't know if I will see my daughter. She has been out of sight, out of mind for the past few weeks. I don't really know why.

On Black Friday, I plan to not get involved in all the sales hoopla of the day.

Last year, I got a terrific deal on a computer for my mother, which I bought for her 80th birthday. It was something I could not pass up, so, for the first time in memory, I got up real early on this day, and waited in line for the store to open. And I got the last one they had at such a price.

This year, my pocketbook will hopefully rest for that day.

But you never know ...

This is the oddest holiday period of the year, going from one extreme to the next.

Thanksgiving is such a joyous holiday, very family oriented. I really like that aspect of it, and it is my favorite holiday on the calendar, along with Passover, which, similarly, is family oriented.

Then we have Black Friday, a day where all of the animalistic instincts of our species come out. People are generally nasty, rude, vulgar, and hateful, because they are all out to do one thing: buy, buy, and buy some more.

I can live without Black Friday, I really can.

So it is really up to the individual to choose how he will celebrate the holiday.

Will you bask in the joyousness of Thanksgiving, or burn in the insensitivity of Black Friday?

Or will you do both?

Me, I am going to relax as much as I can.

I am very happy to be off from work on both days, so I have what amounts to a four-day holiday to recharge my batteries.

Have a great holiday. Speak to you again on Monday.

Rant #1,969: A Time of Remembrance

Harvey, you let us down.

If you remember the Rant on Friday, you know that I talked about the possibilities of Harvey, and how I could not believe that any storm named Harvey could be devastating based on the one, actual Harvey that I knew in my life.

Well, that thinking was wrong.

It was devastating.

Harvey got up to Category 4 storm status, and it ripped apart Houston and several other Texas areas. It is a lingering storm and the five inches of rain an hour it was bringing has been topped with many more inches.

What I saw on TV was really horrid, and it reminded me of Hurricane Sandy, which hit by me and whose affects are still being felt today, years after it hit us.

And I am sure that those areas hit by Harvey will be talking about this hurricane for years to come, too.

That is what makes this past weekend so interesting, showing that Mother Nature really is fickle.

In Texas, you had Harvey, a storm that impacted millions of people, took away homes, washed away highways, and put people in life-changing situations.

Move to my neck of the woods, and you had a weekend that was one we probably won't remember for very long, but at least we won't remember it for the wrong reasons.

We had sun all weekend, and although it was the end of August, we had temperatures like we have in late April, in the mid to high 70s.

It might not have been swimming weather, but it was pleasant as it could be this weekend, and the weather forecasters have predicted much of the same for the days leading up to Labor Day, highs in the mid 70s and only a day or two when we should expect rain.

At this point, you would want the same type of weather we are having to hit Texas, but right now, that isn't going to happen.

The last I checked, the storm wasn't moving very fast, there were some lingering affects of the brutality of the storm being felt, and when Harvey finally goes away, the people of Houston and some other hard hit areas will have to deal with the aftermath, which is not pretty at all ...

As opposed to those of us in the northeast, whose only problem right now is whether to stick with the summer shorts or start to get out the fall wear right now.

We know how lucky we are, and we are even sending certain personnel to the storm-torn areas to help out.

Harvey, you let us all down, and now, when I think of Harvey, I will also have to think of this terrible, terrible storm.

For all those years, Harvey was a nice childhood memory for me, but now, it is mixed with such grief and despair.

And I am sure we will feel it up here, too, as the forecasters say that our gas prices will go up as a result of this storm.

Something to look forward to, I guess, a residual affect of the weather disturbance.

So, in a way, we will get it too, but nothing like Texas did.

If I have to pay a dime or a quarter more for gas, I will still be OK.

At least my house isn't in pieces.

Classic Rant #623 (November 22, 2011): Time To Remember

Amid all the Thanksgiving holiday cheer, I think we must pause to remember that today is the 48th anniversary of one of the most chilling periods in our country's recent history.

President John F. Kennedy was gunned down in a motorcade in Dallas on this day in 1963.

I have spoken about this event many, many times, and have done it on this blog too.

All these years later, it continues to send shivers up my spine.

I won't rehash my personal story again, although I will say that I was in the school, and we heard about it via another teacher and then an announcement on the loud speaker system. We went home, watched its aftermath, and it has stayed with us for decades.

JFK was the first hero of our generation to die, followed a few years later by Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy. Whatever you think of those men, for the baby boomer generation, they were living and breathing touchstones for our existence.

But JFK was the President, so it was something much, much different.

The country's leader was gunned down, and we kind of lost our innocence then. This signaled that the 1950s were truly over, and we were moving into a new world, the 1960s, which would end up being probably the most revolutionary decade in our country's history.

Everything was turned upside down during that decade, and JFK's assassination pretty much started all of that to happen.

Remember, he was probably the last President whose portrait hung on walls of our homes.

The U.S. President was revered in those days. He was an icon. He was respected. We believed everything he said, and rallied around everything he did.

After JFK's assassination, things changed. The country changed. And the world changed.

Could you imagine if in 1963 we had the Internet, cell phones, and the like?

No, those were much simpler times on the outside, but very complex on the inside, just like today's world is.

So with the holiday turkey in sight, take a moment to think about JFK.

If you weren't around, read up on him, and read up on the day that the world stopped, at least for a brief moment, when some person decided that he would be JFK's judge, jury and executioner.

Like I said, the chills still run up and down my spine.

Rant #1,968: Rock You Like a Hurricane

Hurricane Harvey is soon slated to slam into the Texas coast, affecting thousands of people.

This is not anything to ignore, and authorities have said that when the evacuation order goes out, those impacted must leave their homes.

No suggestions. No asking. No cajoling.

You gotta go, and you gotta go now.

I would expect such a potentially deadly weather disturbance, a Category 2 storm, would have a name other than Harvey.

The name Harvey to me is a nice one, one that you don't hear about that often anymore.

I once knew an actual Harvey, very briefly in school.

We had just moved into Rochdale Village, South Jamaica, Queens, a new development that had its own school, P.S. 30.

We had just moved into the new school from portable classrooms that were used as the building was being constructed.

Anyway, in my second grade class, for a short spell, was a guy named Harvey. He was seven years old like the rest of us, but he stood out for a variety of reasons, or at least I think he stood out,.

He actually had wisps of gray hair in his head. At seven years old. I had never seen anything like that before, but yes, his black mane had dots of gray hair in the back.

He also had one other peculiar feature.

In the back of his head, he had what I would call a divot, but it might have been something else, I don't know.

But the divot was there, and he used to show it to us.

He could literally put a dime in that divot and it would stay there.

He often showed us this feat, and we were completely amazed.

That is all I remember of Harvey. I am hoping he is still with us, and I wonder if he can still fit a dime--or maybe now, years later, with inflation, a quarter--into that divot, if he still has it.

So when I hear about Hurricane Harvey, I just cannot equate such a potentially devastating weather event with the name Harvey, because the only Harvey I ever knew was such a nice guy with gray hair and a divot in his head where he could put a dime and it would stay there.

I have heard of other Harveys--Harvey Haddix, Harvey Wallbanger, heck, even Laurence Harvey--and they all seemed like good people, even if the second of those I just named wasn't a real person. Just the sound of the name "Harvey Wallbanger" had a nice ring to it.

I just cannot believe that the Harvey that is in the news today is thought to be such a horrible thing.

I think that that goes back to that Harvey from my second grade class. He was such a nice guy, how can a hurricane be named after him?

I can see Hurricane Dragana, Hurricane Horatio, Hurricane Barnabas, but Hurricane Harvey?

No, it just doesn't go.

I wish the people of Texas well. I think they may need all the help they can get.

Have a nice weekend. Speak to you again on Monday.

Classic Rant #622 (November 21, 2011): Something To Smile About

I alluded to this release a couple of Rants back, but now, it's time to review this long-awaited LP.

The "SMiLE" set by the Beach Boys has arrived in stores, and with the holidays right around the corner, it might be time to invest some of your hard-earned cash into buying this release.

It comes in three version, as far as I know: the all inclusive boxed set, which not only comes with several CDs worth of songs, sound-bytes, dialogue and other features, but it also comes complete with the album on vinyl and a couple of vinyl singles.

Then you have the more economical boxed set, with two CDs and a button to wear on your shirt.

Finally, you have the vinyl LP version. This approximates the way it would have been released in early 1967 if the album would have ever seen the light of day.

I opted for the middle ground: the economical boxed set, which at 20 some odd dollars, fit my wallet a little better than the all-inclusive boxed set, which would have run me about $150. imagine the vinyl LPs would have cost me in the $35-$40 range, so what I did was save a little bread for myself.

Anyway, onto the recording.

As you probably know, "SMiLE"--and that is how it was supposed to look--was an album that Brian Wilson was creating for his Beach Boys. So many things got in the way--illness, in-group fighting, drugs, and probably more drugs--that this album never was finished in its entirety, and although it was to be released in January 1967, only bits and pieces of the LP ever were officially released, although bootlegs abound.

Right off, I am going to tell you that this album is not "Pet Sounds." That LP is probably Wilson and the Beach Boys' finest work, and this is not that, it doesn't even come close, if you want my opinion.

"SMiLE" isn't really an album, per se, or an album as we came to know what albums were during the mid to late 1960s.

Sure, there is music on it, but it more of a sound collage than anything else.

The music is often intercepted by noises, other sounds, and really, I think what Wilson was getting at was that he wanted to make this sort of the aural equivalent to being at a carnival, with all the sounds, rides, barkers, and everybody else going at it at once, trying to get your attention.

It's the same thing here. There is so much going on, so much for your ear to nibble on, if you will.

But does it all work?

That is the big question, and my answer is, that I really don't know.

Even after listening to this thing, I just don't know if Wilson's vision would have translated to the acclaim that he evidently so wanted.

He wanted it so much that it might have led to his eventual nervous breakdown.

The centerpiece of "SMiLE" was not, in my opinion, "Good Vibrations," which was being worked on at the same time as the rest of the LP. The centerpiece, was "Heroes and Villains," a weaker song than "Good Vibrations" but still a powerful one.

The song, like "Good Vibrations," did eventually get released, and became a hit single. But as the centerpiece of the LP, all of the bits and pieces given to us here demonstrate how Wilson worked and worked and worked on this song to make it perfect--just like he did with "Good Vibrations."

If I learned anything from this release, it is that "Heroes and Villains" was held in the same esteem by Wilson as was "Good Vibrations," and that miscalculation may have led to the LP's downfall and non-release until now.

Wilson was a perfectionist, a perfectionist stressed out on being perfect, abetted by lots of drugs.

His attempt to get this album right--and to get those two songs to a state of perfection--stuck a nail into this set.

What we have now, more than 40 years after the fact, is Wilson's vision, all right, but what his actual vision for the album was may never be known.

Wilson, himself, released his own version of the LP a few years ago, and it was one of the best albums of the year. But again, it was his vision more than 40 years after the fact.

What was his original vision? What did he want the album to say, what did he want the album to do?

This current album is the closest we probably will ever get to peer into his drug-addled mind at that time.

And for that, it is worth every penny.

If you are looking for a classic, a masterpiece, a master work from one of rock's greatest composers, I don't think you are going to get that here.

I wonder if Wilson, himself, thought that the project was doomed to failure, and that made him work even harder--and ingest more drugs into himself--to try to make it better than it really was.

I don't know about any of that, but I can tell you that SMiLE is worth your while.

I don't know if, when you finish listening to this, you will want to listen to it again and again.

That is my watermark for a classic. Any album that you want to hear again and again is a classic.

I don't think "SMiLE" is that, or even would have been that in 1967.

But it foreshadowed the coming album boom, when acts led by the Beatles took the LP format and made it into more than simply a collection of singles and other songs.

"SMiLE" might put a smile on your face, but is it a classic, a masterpiece.

No. Its legend precedes it, but don't be fooled.

"SMiLE" is a fine album, I think it is at least. But it is no classic, no masterpiece.

I don't think that Wilson regressed with this LP, I just think he got in over his head with a vision that he probably wasn't going to reach, even if he were completely sober.

Don't listen to snooty rock critics. They have no idea what they are talking about.

Go back to "Pet Sounds" and compare.

But get "SMiLE" anyway. You won't be sorry that you did.

Rant #1,967: All You Need Is Love While You LIght My Fire On a Pleasant Valley Sunday

Since this is Rant #1,967, I figured I would look at the year 1967, and this very week, the song that serves as part of the title of this Rant was No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

It was a song by the Beatles, and I guess its sentiments continue to ring true 50 years later.

"All You Need Is Love," and all you still need is love in this mad world we live in.

We were right in the middle of the so-called "Summer of Love," and this song pretty much set the tone for the summer.

For the week of August 19, 1967, another anthem of that summer "Light My Fire" by the Doors, followed at No. 2. It had been the top song on the chart the previous week.

The most popular rock act in the world came in at No. 3, with probably their best song, although it never made No. 1 with such stiff competition in front of it. "Pleasant Valley Sunday" by the Monkees was No. 3 on the chart, another anthem of that summer that many discount as a "Summer of Love" anthem, but that is just what it was.

One of the many hits by Stevie Wonder was at No. 4 for the week. "I Was Made To Love Her" was one of his best tunes, and its high placement showed the sheer talent of this still young teenager, who would have many other hits over the next several decades.

Another great rhythm and blues tune, "Baby I Love You" by Aretha Franklin, rounded out the Top 5, and this singer, who was originally molded as a black Barbara Streisand, was right in the middle of an incredible run of hits, now that her talent was fully understood.

One of the most popular acts in the country during 1967 was the Buckinghams, and they had one of their biggest hits this week with "Mercy, Mercy, Mercy," which came in at No. 6.

"Ode to Billie Joe," one of the great story songs of all time, came in at No. 7. Bobbie Gentry, who both wrote and sung this tune, went on to an interesting career, and she was as hot as a pistol, both figuratively and literally, with this tune on the charts.

James Brown had many, many chart hits, and one was "Cold Sweat," which hit No. 8 this week. The so-called "Hardest Working Man in Show Business" would have hit singles into the 1980s.

If someone was looking for something different on the singles charts this week, they would have found it in the atmospheric tune "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procol Harum, which hit No. 9 this week.

Rounding out the Top 10 was the Young Rascals' "A Girl Like You," a great mix of soul and rock that was the specialty of this New York Metropolitan Area band, who would soon drop the "Young" from their name.

The highest debut on the chart at No. 76 was Peter, Paul and Mary's "I Dig Rock and Roll Music," the name-dropping song that would eventually reach No. 9. It was also the trio's next to last Top 10 single.

The biggest mover on the chart--the song that picked up the most mileage on the chart, moving from one place to another during the period of the previous week to the current week--was Diana Ross and the Supremes' "Reflections," which moved from No. 61 to No. 20 during the span. It would soon hit the top of the charts, becoming one of the Motown trio's biggest and most loved hits.

So there you have it. These were the songs people were listening to way back when, and there isn't a lemon in the bunch.

In fact, I would say that there are a few classics in this list, a few songs that have stayed with us and endured for 50 years, and probably will continue to do so for at least 50 more.

That was really some summer, and all you had to do was to turn on the radio, and you would be musically taken to that time and place.

Me, I was in camp, but even after camp or on the weekend, I probably had a stick ball game to play, or I went to the mall to the card shop to get the latest issue of the "Superman" comic book, or even maybe to get a pack of baseball cards.

Maybe I was even getting a dreaded hair cut, or picking up a slice of pizza and a Coke at King George Pizza in the mall.

Whatever the case, 1967 was a good year for this 10 year old, and the summer was as hot as could be.

Classic Rant #621 (November 18, 2011): The World HAS Gone Crazy

I look at the calendar, and it says November 18.

It's a mere six days before Thanksgiving, and a week until Black Friday.

But when I saw this news item, I could have sworn it had April 1, April Fool's Day, written all over it.

NBC and the people that did the failed show "Pushing Daisies" are reportedly teaming up to create a revival of the classic CBS sitcom "The Munsters."

That in itself is an insipid thing to do, but they are really throwing themselves into the dumpster by what they plan to do with the show.

They are planning on making it into an hour long drama.

That's right, an hour long drama.

How can you make a situation comedy featuring a family of oddball characters like this into a drama?

Remember, "The Munsters" was originally a takeoff/satire on one of the creators' original shows.

Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher were the talent involved in the creation of "Leave It To Beaver," one of TV's most beloved sitcoms. The family was perfect--although Beaver was not, which is where most of the comedy came from--but they lived in a perfect city, had a perfect mom, a perfect dad, Wally was the perfect brother, and even Eddie Haskell was the perfect instigator.

A few years later, Connelly and Mosher came up with "The Munsters" as a perfect counterpoint to their earlier show. Here, you had a family of what most of us would call monsters, but they also had the "perfect" family. The only "imperfect" one was Marilyn, because she ... well, she stuck out like a sore thumb.

How can you make this show into a drama? Just the sight of the hulking Herman, the gorgeous but ghoulish Lily, the smart but vampiric Grandpa, and the mite Eddie would have to put a smile on your face.

How can they make this into a drama?

Will Herman be having affairs with the women he works with at the parlor, because his hulking stature also brings with it some other unforeseen prowesses?

Will Lily actually be having an affair with the milkman, because, like her husband, she has certain prowesses too?

How about Grandpa? Will he create a device so he can be a peeping tom on the rest of Mockingbird Heights?

And little Eddie ... is he really a drug dealer/user, and that's why his skin is so green?

Let's not forget Marilyn ... heaven knows what they have in store for this character.

Look, it's not like "The Munsters" haven't been revived several times already.

Not only did some of the original cast appear in the theatrical "Munster, Go Home" (which actually was supposed to herald the show's third season, which never happened) and a TV movie here or there, but other actors have portrayed the family in several TV movies and one absolutely dreadful 1980s show "The New Munsters."

Several years ago, the Wayan Brothers were supposed to be involved with a revival of the show--with an all-black cast.

But to actually make such a comedic situation into a drama ... well, that's why network television is so bad nowadays.

I guarantee they will have a "Charlie's Angels" situation on their hands if this thing ever sees the light of day.

I give it one or two episodes, tops.

And while they're at it, why not make "I Love Lucy" into a drama too. Heck, I always wondered what Ethel saw in the much older Fred ...

Maybe there's a premise here for something really, really big.

Rant #1,966: Pictures of You

Well, once again some Hollywood types are complaining that hackers have infringed on their privacy by stealing intimate pictures of them and putting them up for everyone to see on the Internet.

This is upsetting, I guess, but I often wonder who is really crying here, and whether the tears are of the crocodile variety.

Celebrities like athletes Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods, as well as a slew of actresses and singers including Myley Cyrus, woke up the other day to find intimate photos of themselves posted on the Internet by the same group who claimed to have done this several months ago to another selection of celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence.

Look, I understand those who feel their privacy was infringed upon. These photos were only to be seen by certain eyes, and now, all their business, so to speak, is up for all to see.

On the other hand, why can't these dummies understand that anything and everything you photograph, as well as any other pertinent information you have, is up for the taking if you put it on your cellphone, your tablet, or your computer?

"The cloud" is really where your head is if you think that putting up photos and video of yourself in this storage area is immune to being hacked by those who know how.

And why you take such video and photos of yourself is another story ... or is it really?

I have to wonder that with the evident preponderance of such material from major stars, whether a lot of this is more "woe is me" than reality.

I am not saying that the stars are in cahoots with the hackers, but you know what they say, any publicity--even bad press--is better than no publicity at all, and some of these people ... well, they can cry all they want into their own personal cash registers.

Any exposure is good exposure, if you get my drift.

Supposed leaked videos in the recent past--by the likes of Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson and many others--have actually given career boosts to those involved, who are more interested in money than dignity.

Who's to say that the latest leaks won't end up benefitting those involved, even unwittingly?

Would you put it past any of these celebrities?

I certainly wouldn't.

And all the talk about seeking legal action and prosecuting the hackers to the fullest extent of the law ... please, the videos shouldn't have been up in the first place, and certainly not stored on the Internet, of all places.

Heck, if these stars feel the need to show themselves off to their loved ones in this manner, get an old Polaroid and take pictures that only you and the other person can share.

Or get an old video camera and shoot some shots that you feel the need to tape.

(But as you know, you are also taking a major chance by doing it this way, too.)

But please, don't use your phone, your tablet or your computer to take these things, and then plead total astonishment that anyone will grab these and put you on full display.

How stupid can you be? Maybe that is a rhetorical question, but in this case, I think it has to be asked.

(P.S.: Happy birthday to my wonderful son. He is the true light of my life, and he is the best son a guy could have. We are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate his 22nd birthday, and he is just discovering his own self and his world. Many more happy birthdays to him!)

Classic Rant #620 (November 17, 2011): Somebody's Baby

Amid all the other things happening in this world we live in, I am sure that you heard that the paternity suit against teen idol Justin Bieber was dropped.

The woman dropped her case after Bieber said he would not only take a paternity test to prove his innocence, but would also file a countersuit against her, presumably for defamation of character.

The woman, 20, claimed that she had an encounter backstage with Bieber, 17, and even though the suit was dropped, she is still pressing her claim that he fathered her child.

Yes, and I am sure Bieber fathered many, many more children around the country and around the world since he became a superstar about two years ago.

This has been going on since time began. An "innocent" woman claims that a famous person has fathered her child.

Sometimes, the claim is right on the money, as in the John Edwards situation.

Other times ... well, the women are simply delusional.

Or perhaps they think they will get a quick buck from a celebrity who doesn't want to go through the whole public relations mess that a paternity suit might bring.

I remember an interview that Micky Dolenz--one of the all-time great pop idols as a member of the Monkees--gave to Tom Snyder on the old "Tomorrow" show years ago.

Snyder asked him and Davy Jones point blank about the number of paternity suits that were filed against the two, and the other Monkees, Peter Tork and Michael Nesmith, during their heyday.

He said something to the effect that, "Yes, many were filed. We used to hook up with other musicians, and compare notes. I would ask another musician, 'Did you get that letter in the mail from the Cathcart family of North Carolina, claiming that you fathered their daughter's child?,' and they would say 'Yes.' The problem was that it was a form letter and we used to get the same letter from dozens of families around the country. Nothing ever came of any of them."

Look, these guys aren't that innocent. Their pop stardom allows them to pick and choose, if they so desire, women (or in today's world, men and women), who they might like to have flings with.

Don't tell me that Bieber and Dolenz are/were immune to that type of lifestyle. That's how groupies came about, and yes, there are plenty of groupies even in today's politically correct age.

Bieber's accuser's lawyer claims that the lawsuit was never officially dismissed, so there is a possibility that it could be reopened.

If I were talking to the accuser, I would say she should move on. She appears to have some type of mental problem, and I would get that taken care of before she continues to proclaim that Bieber is the father.

I never thought I would defend Bieber, but I am now.

Because this time, he is right.

Rant #1,965: Manic Monday

Well, yesterday was a real "Manic Monday," wasn't it?

The eclipse captured the imagination of just about everyone in this country, and for once, we could collectively say that we were all interested in the same thing, for the same reason.

But read on. It wasn't all that hunky dory.

Eclipse Dazzles and Also Disappoints: Sure, the eclipse was the "real deal" in many of the states in its path.

It darkened the landscape for a few moments, and then, went away as fast as it came.

But in other areas, it fizzled, and really disappointed.

The hype around the eclipse in the New York Metropolitan Area, for instance, was almost unprecedented.

People took off from work, there were eclipse parties, and a frenzy was created by the media, who so wanted us to be part of this whole thing, even though we were hundreds of miles off the eclipse's path.

The time came, and well, the sun was still out, cars still whirred by my office, and well, nothing much happened.

At my work, people were standing at their windows, wanting to see how much the eclipse affected the sun.

They wanted to turn off the lights to see this phenomenon.

But there was no reason to do so. Nothing much happened.

The hype in this area was just that, hype. This was not South Carolina. This was New York. We were not in the path of the eclipse, so what could we expect to experience?

Tell that to the fools who wasted so much time buying into the hype.

Not me. I was at my desk working, which is where I should have been.

Now, back to reality.

Dick Gregory Dies: Lost in the hype--and this hype was deserved--about the passing of Jerry Lewis was that another popular comedian died this weekend, too.

Dick Gregory set the path for Richard Pryor and others to follow.

He was one of the most popular comedians in the country in the early to mid-1960, appearing on every variety show and in every night club imaginable, but then his social conscience took hold.

He morphed into a social crusader, and while you didn't always have to agree with what he said, you had to respect that he had the guts to say what he did, in the late 1960s, when Pryor was basically a pup.

He talked about racial injustice, turmoil in the inner cities, and just about everything that was on the front page of the newspapers back then.

He was less funny, but certainly more topical.

But even Gregory had limits to this topicality.

He veered into other areas, and toward the last years of his performing life, he was looked at as an oddity more than anything else.

He spoke about weight loss, and went on some somewhat historic fasts to prove whatever point he was trying to make.

He took up the cause of Michael Jackson; he said he was on a journey to find out just how Jackson died, even though it was quite obvious what the singer died of. He simply didn't believe it.

Again, you didn't have to agree with Gregory on anything, but you had to agree with him that he was the real deal.

And he was just that.

After-Barbecue Leftovers: We had so much leftover food from our family barbecue this weekend that I think I will be eating it into next month.

Yesterday, I had hamburgers for lunch, today I have hot dogs.

I know we also have chicken, but I don't eat chicken. If I did, I would be eating that too.

People ate at the barbecue, but I guess I simply made too much.

But it won't go to waste ... I made so much food, that it will certainly go to my waist.

And that is that, a Manic Monday going into a pretty normal Tuesday.

But I am prepared for anything today, except another eclipse.

One of those was enough ... and remember, it happens again in another seven years, so don't throw away those glasses ...

Even to those in the New York Metropolitan Area, who probably won't need them again, but will be so hyped up once again that they will think that they are really part of all of this hoopla.

Me, I know better.

Classic Rant #619 (October 16, 2011): Wrong Justify ...

Television often brings out the best--and the worst--in those that we watch.

We have seen people fried by what they say on the air--remember Al Campanis?--and I think that the latest crash and burn took place the other day, when former Penn State Assistant Coach Jerry Sandusky answered a few questions put to him by Bob Costas about alleged inappropriate conduct carried out by the coach against young boys.

During the interview, which was played on the air, Sandusky denied--but did not vehemently deny--any illicit interactions with youngsters during his days at Penn State and while running his organization for troubled youth.

Costas asked him point blank if he had any sexual leanings toward young boys, and Sandusky said no, but he came off as being as guilty as sin.

Why?

His reactions weren't quick, and they weren't strong, either.

He had to think about each question, repeating each question as if he needed more time to think out a good answer.

Sandusky admitted to taking showers with young boys, some horseplay, even some touching on the leg and hugging, but he denied that he got sexual charges out of any of this. Rather, he said, he should not have taken showers with the boys.

Light the match. He fried himself.

First off, a then 40- or 50-year old man should not, under any circumstances, be taking showers with children. I don't care if it was "innocent," there is no reason to be doing this. None.

And second, the "horseplay" that he spoke about--why did he engage in this behavior at all?

The repugnant thing that this now 60-some year old pedophile tried to do with this interview is justify that what he did was not sexually motivated, but some type of simple interplay with wayward youth.

The guy disgusts me.

The latest angle to this is that now others have come forward and said they were molested by this creep. That's beyond the original eight who claimed molestation.

And then we have another assistant coach, Mike McQueary, who says he not only reported a sexual encounter he witnessed between Sandusky and a child to the proper college authorities, including Head Coach Joe Paterno, but he also contacted police.

In a Nov. 8 email from McQueary to a friend, which was made available to The Associated Press, McQueary said: "I did stop it, not physically ... but made sure it was stopped when I left that locker room ... I did have discussions with police and with the official at the university in charge of police .... no one can imagine my thoughts or wants to be in my shoes for those 30-45 seconds ... trust me."

He also reportedly said in the email that he was "getting hammered for handling this the right way ... or what I thought at the time was right ... ."

He is now justifying his actions too ... and he is no better than the alleged perpetrator.

McQueary was placed on indefinite paid leave last week after school officials said he had received threats.

Why is this all coming out now, years after the fact? That no one thought that Sandusky should be removed from his position as assistant coach and should also be removed from the organization that he created is beyond me.

What it boils down to is that this situation really is an indictment against the entire NCAA system, which has been rife with holes and loopholes for years with few people calling attention to these infractions.

Sports--and primarily football and basketball--is put before anything else at the NCAA. Colleges and universities' educational programs--their primary reason for being--are overshadowed by their football and basketball programs. People in these programs are put on a pedestal, and it's real hard to knock them off.

Why no one is questioning the NCAA about this coverup is also beyond me. The entire environment is suspect, and they foster that environment.

I hope everyone involved in this gets what they deserve. Those kids got what they didn't deserve, and nothing these perpetrators, solicitors, and all those who looked the other way will get will ever make up for what was taken from these kids.

Rant #1,964: Having a Wild Weekend

What a weekend!

Where do I begin?

I just don't know, but I am going to start right here ...

1) Jerry Lewis Passes: The entertainer passed away this weekend at age 91 at his home in Las Vegas, Nev.

Where others call themselves "The Kings of Comedy," Lewis didn't need to proclaim himself as such. He was the real deal, and he did it the right way for nearly 70 years.

Beginning to hone his craft in the Borscht Belt, in the Catskill Mountains of New York, Lewis one day was teamed with a mild mannered singer, Dean Martin, and pretty much the rest is history.

They went on to Hollywood, became the successors to Bud Abbott and Lou Costello as America's favorite comedy team, made movies, did lots of television when the medium was in its infancy, and heck, they were so popular that they had their own comic book.

And then they broke apart due to reasons only they probably knew.

Both might have gone their separate ways, but in something extremely unusual, both Martin and Lewis became even more popular apart as they were together.

Lewis went on to write, direct and star in numerous films, he had a successful TV show, and he was loved by many here, and was absolutely revered in France, where he was given that country's Legion of Merit. And yes, he still had his own comic book and later, his own cartoon show.

He also headlined the annual Muscular Dystrophy Telethon for 40 years, keeping in the spotlight even when his movie and television career faded.

Like many comics, he was a tortured soul, and he had many, many critics, who panned his films as being childish, and who panned his MDA chores as grandstanding while he was belittling the very people he was supposedly helping.

But he kept on going, because the public adored him.

He had many personal battles, including cancer, constant pain, and a very bad back, but he soldiered on, making people laugh into his early 90s.

He was the real deal, and he will be dearly missed, in particular by those who love clean, straight as an arrow comedy that both makes you laugh and makes you think without using vulgarity or vicious putdowns, stuff which define today's comic world.

2) Food Weekend: Personally, I had a food weekend this past weekend, which actually started on Friday night, when I left work early to meet up with some old friends at an eatery in Manhattan.

We meet every few months, and one or two of us suggested something exotic this time around, so we dined at a restaurant that featured Ethiopian food.

This type of food is kind of light fare, but I found that it was quite good, and something totally different from what I was used to.

What we had were three platters filled with various vegetables and garnishes which ranged from mild to very spicy.

In the middle of each platter was some type of meat, ranging from beef to chicken to what I think was lamb.

Some type of spongy bread is used to pick up the vegetables, the garnishes and the meat together, and it leads to an interesting hit to your taste buds as you eat and digest it.

And there is no silverware to use, so the bread-like substance is used as your fork.

It was something totally different, and something that I found I liked more with every mouthful.

After several bread-fulls of food, I was done, but I have to say that the food and the company made it a fine evening.

Then after a fast-food Saturday, on Sunday, we had a family barbecue, where the usual franks, chicken and fish were the food of choices for the day.

These people are my family, less my daughter, who did not show up for her own reasons, and two of my nephews, one who lives on the West Coast and the other who is in school outside the area.

We have a small family, but young and old blend with each other very well, and it is always fun getting together.

My wife, my mother and I worked our tails off to make everything just right, and I think we succeeded, although on my end, a couple of hamburgers fell apart, which always riles me.

Otherwise, I made so much food that we will have barbecue leftovers for a week, but that is fine, the food won't go to waste.

3) Eclipse Today: It isn't part of the weekend, per se, but the fever pitch leading up to today's eclipse built to feverish proportions this weekend.

Those looking for proper glasses to view the eclipse found that they were out of luck, those coming into areas where the total eclipse will be felt the most found that there isn't much elbow room to move, as so many have converged on states in the direct path of the eclipse like South Carolina, and it seems like the entire country is on a frenzy rarely seen.

In New York, we will only get a partial eclipse, but it should be interesting for those who can experience it. Me, I will be at work, with my blinds closed as they always are, so the only eclipse I will get is from the newspapers and television shows that I watch that will tell me what I missed.

Perhaps our country can use the eclipse as a rallying point, something to use to get together, for once, where we don't have to fight, don't have to shove our political differences down other people's throats, and we can just relax and enjoy this occurrence.

I am sure that isn't going to happen, but wouldn't it be nice if it did?

Onward to the week, which I am sure won't be as interesting as this past weekend was.

Classic Rant #618 (November 13, 2011): It's Over

Two things ended yesterday.

At least for all intents and purposes they ended yesterday.

First, the Wall Street marchers who have camped out at Manhattan's Zuccotti Park have been removed, some forcibly, by police.

The park needs to be cleaned, and more importantly, the owners of businesses in the area, as well as area residents, have had it up to here with the debris, noise, and let's be honest about it, the vermin that have been attracted to this form of disobedience.

I really think most Americans supported the marchers, and other similar events across the country, when they first started out. People were finally getting together to try to alert those in power that they were aware of what was going on and weren't going to take it anymore.

However, over the past weeks, the marchers really have become nothing but squatters. They don't really have any focus anymore, with many factions breaking away from the original intent of those gathering at these events.

It's really flash mobs gone awry. Every freak in the area of these marches have been drawn to them, and reports of rape and other violent acts have become the norm.

They made their point; now it is time to move on.

Then we have a group at the other end of the equation, those making money like they had their own machines printing legal tender.

The National Basketball Association lockout has reached its apex, or nadir, depending on where you stand with the issue, and it appears the season just may be lost because millionaires can't agree with billionaires on how to split a multi-billion-dollar pie.

They haggled back and forth for weeks, but the players have rejected the last offer by the league in a 50/50 split of basketball revenues.

The players have threatened to decertify their union, and the players, in turn, will probably sue the league for anti-trust violations.

In times when the recession is eating away at about 98 percent of us, how can the players--and the owners--justify this game they are playing, one which doesn't involved a bouncing ball or a hoop?

They are as out of touch with what is going on, what the original Wall Street protesters were yelling about, as any group of people could be.

The other thing that links these two "ends" is that at this point in time, does anybody really care about what happens to either group?

Sure, I am sure there is more sympathy for the Wall Street protesters, but I think their welcome has worn thin.

How anybody can support either the owners or the players in the NBA dispute is beyond me.

Quite frankly, I am turned off by both "ends."

I think it is time to move on.

I think the protesters should investigate some more concrete means to get their points across. They are all over the place as far as the issues, and from where I sit, it looks more like a circus than a protest.

The NBA players and owners should look at what is happening in this country and the world, and they should kiss the ground that they are who they are.

It is time to move on. It really is.

Rant #1,963: Me, Myself, I

This year's version of the "Subway Series" ended with the Yankees outlasting the Mets, 7-5, for a four-game series sweep.

I am quite happy with the result, and I think that this year, in particular, I would have been really disappointed if the Bronx Bombers would have lost even one game.

The Yankees are fighting for the playoffs, while the Mets have had to deal with a rash of injuries to their pitching staff, and are playing out the string.

The Yankees have had their own run of injuries, but they have been able to sustain their early season momentum; the Mets have no pitching, period.

Whatever the case, the Yankees have bragging rights in the New York City Metropolitan Area, and can move on with some confidence as they now go to Boston to face the Red Sox for in an important weekend series.

And I will be watching, when I can spare a moment, because my family and I have a somewhat busy weekend, highlighted by our family barbecue that we are having on Sunday. Relatives from both sides of the family will be attending, and I probably will be too busy to watch much of anything on that day, except the hot dogs and other stuff on the grill.

When I watched the Yankees-Mets series, I just had to wonder how it would be like if I could have been a major leaguer. I wonder how a human being can hit a 457 foot home run. What if I could do that?

But then I come down to earth. I was as a kid, and have always been, a better fan than a player of any sport I tried to play. I am simply not athletically inclined, although I love sports.

I was never the worst player on the field, but I wasn't very good.

What I was was open to all sports, so that I played everything, from baseball and softball to basketball and football, and table tennis and bowling, too.

Nothing organized, except for baseball and bowling, but I loved playing sports with my friends and in our community's Little League.

I loved getting on the field, and getting into the ups and downs of the game.

When Aaron Judge hit that moonshot, I told my wife about what I believe is the longest ball I ever hit in an organized game.

I must have been about 13 or 14, and I was playing softball in the Rochdale Village Athletic League, our neighborhood's own Little League.

I don't remember the situation, but I do remember that as a right handed batter, I tried to hit the ball the other way. If a right handed batter pulls the ball, it goes to the left side. I thought to myself that I would hit the ball the other way to the right side of the field.

I took a swing with my metal bat and I hit the ball really good.

It must have traveled at least 200 feet, probably more, to right field, but as my luck would have it, the team we played actually had a pretty good player playing right, one of the G-- twins, Larry. His brother was Eric and not playing in that game.

I hit it to Larry--who was, even at this age, about 6 foot 3 inches, and weighed maybe 100 pounds (people will back me up on this description--these two were so skinny that you could see the outline of their rib cages when we went swimming in camp) and he ran back, got in front of the ball, and was able to use his entire frame to barely catch the missile I hit out there.

I was floored, but I was also out.

Another time, I hit a ball that somehow got over the centerfielder's head, and rolled to the fence of where we played the game.

There was a runner on first, named Arthur, who was slower than molasses.

I could smell inside the park home run, and as I ran around first, I saw that Arthur was barely past second.

I reached second, and he wasn't even at third yet.

I barely made it to third as he barely made it home.

To this day, I swear that I would have made it all around the bases if Arthur could run, but he couldn't, so I had to settle for a triple.

Oh well, I guess you can't have everything.

That is why when I see 457 foot home runs, or even home runs of the lesser foot variety, I marvel at how human beings can actually hit a ball that far.

Mickey Mantle once hit a ball about 550 feet. How can that be?

I can see how a player can score a basket, even from mid-court, in a basketball game.

I can see a football player making a great catch in the end zone.

I can see a hockey player making a great shot that gets past the goalie into the goal.

Heck, I can see a bowler getting 12 strikes in a row for a perfect game (I once threw six straight strikes to open a game, and bowled a 239).

But I cannot see a human being hitting a ball 457 feet, or 460 feet, or 500 feet.

But it has happened.

And that, to me, is one of the things that makes baseball so special.

I can hit a hoop, I can catch a football.

But there is no way that I can hit a ball that far. No way, no how. No, no, no.

So although I loved to play the game, I am much better as a fan, watching the game, studying what I am seeing, and marveling at it all.

And I have been doing that since 1965, and will continue to do it into my old age.

Speak to you again on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Classic Rant #617 (November 12, 2011): Onward To 1,000, and Beyond!

Is this the slowest news time of the year or what?

There isn't much going on to waste a column on, so I am going to waste a column on some self promotion.

My lone video on YouTube is nearing 1,000 hits. It's been up several months and quite frankly, I can't believe it even has 500 hits. let alone nearly 1,000.

Sure, popular clips on YouTube often get 1 million or more hits, but I am pretty happy with what this clip has received.

If you don't know about it, it is a less than 60-second clip from my childhood.

I was a big Little Leaguer, playing in my community--my fabled Rochdale Village, South Jamaica Queens, New York--Little League up until I was 15, a year past when my family and I moved away from this development.

I loved to play, even though I wasn't a very good player at all.

And you can see it all in this video.

I suspect that this was taken when I was eight or nine years old, so we are talking about the 1965-1966 time frame. My father took the clip on an old 8mm camera, pretty high-tech for those days.

I won't ruin it for you if you haven't yet seen the video, but my athletic ineptitude is demonstrated by this less than a minute clip.

I guess that some kids are good athletically, and some aren't.

I wasn't. I loved sports, but I really couldn't play any of them.

I was never the worst of the group, but I was always chosen next to last or next to next to last or next to next to next to last when we were choosing up sides.

And this clip really shows the world how "good" I was.

Anyway, it is nearing the 1,000 hit level. I am sure I went onto the clip probably 100 times myself for one reason or another, but evidently several others have also taken a look.

I hope they found it as hilarious as I do.

Onward to 1,000--and beyond!

(And yes, that is me today. And that Yankee hat is from the 1970s--I am sure I will be buried in it when my time comes.)

Rant #1,962: Catch Me If You Can

Yes, that is an apt title for today's Rant, which once again celebrates the current "Subway Series" between the New York Yankees and the New York Mets.

The Yankees have won the three games, tonight is the final game of the series, and I still don't have a foul ball in my possession.

Going back more than 50 years, I have been at probably at least 100 to 150 baseball games in person, not a lot but enough to have witnessed some great games and a lot of history, too.

But I have never caught a foul ball, never caught a home run ball, never caught a ball thrown into the stands by a player or handed off to me by a player or a ball boy.

Sure, a lot of it has to do with where I sit, usually in "God's Country," closer to the Almighty than to the field.

But many, many times I sat in earshot of foul balls, and while I have been very, very close, I never snared one of these souvenirs.

Just this past Saturday, when my family and I went to the game, we had wonderful seats via my friend, who gave them to me for my 60th birthday.

They were seats that were close to the field, and certainly getting a foul ball was in the realm of possibility.

Well, the first batter for the Yankees, outfielder Brett Gardner, sliced a ball our way, but it veered to our right, hit high off a barrier, and fell into someone else's lap, maybe three or four rows behind us.

Another ball came near us, too, hit by someone on the Red Sox, but it veered way over our heads.

That was it. Nothing else even nearly came our way.

In the past, I have had a couple of near misses.

One was grabbed by someone I was with, a clean catch that I could not even argue about.

Another, a kid next to me with a glove got it on the ball, my fingers touching the ball but never grabbing it.

A few times, the balls hit have been just too high for me to grab.

About 45 years ago or so, I went to a Yankees game with friends, and we bought tickets all the way up in the stands.

As we did back then, and by the way, this was not frowned upon at the time, we moved down to better seats as the game progressed.

We actually got to right behind the Yankees broadcast booth, which was situated right in front of the stands at the time, but certainly accessible and viewable by people in the stands.

We were so close to the booth that Yankees announcer Frank Messer actually asked me what time it was.

I told him, and about a minute after I did, he was standing in the booth, and a player hit a ball right into his vicinity.

He caught the ball with one hand, and flipped it to me, pretty much thanking me for answering his question.

Some creep ran in front of me, grabbed what was to be my prize, and ran off.

And that has been that for me.

I have been to several stadiums in my life, and it's the same thing all the time. I cannot get a foul ball, or if I am sitting in the outfield, I cannot get a home run ball.

People have actually written books about the "science" of grabbing a ball hit into the stands, and I guess I haven't been very good with science.

Or, perhaps, I simply have no luck, which is most probably the case.

I will continue to go to baseball games, and I will continue to believe that this is going to be the game that I finally get my ball, one way or the other.

But time is running out, and I really have to do this within the next few years.

Someone, hit a ball my way!

I have suffered enough.

Classic Rant #616 (November 11, 2011): 11/11/11

Happy Veterans Day. Rather than shop until you drop today, give at least some pause to why we have a holiday today. The men and women who have served our country, and continue to fight wars overseas, are the true heroes of this land, and while some people have called into question why we do what we do during different eras in our country's history, we should all be on the same page with our past, current and future service members.

They should be applauded.

Okay, today also happens to be 11/11/11.

One one, one one, one one.

I would think today would be thought of to be a lucky day for some. That's why the rate of people getting married today--on a Friday--is going to be very high.

And, it's not like we are waiting for a 2/22/22 with any anticipation.

Heck, I will be nearly 65 years of age then. Let's not rush it, I am very happy being 54 right now.

And I am sure, as I brought up yesterday, that my wife is very happy where she is with her age. Well, she probably would love to turn back the clock, but it isn't going to happen.

Anyway, I have to work today. This makes little sense, to be quite honest about it, because it is a federal holiday honoring our veterans and current service members. I just happen to work on a publication that covers military exchanges (department stores) and commissaries (supermarkets), stores that cater to service members and their families.

Why are we open today? I don't know, I really don't.

But it is novel to have 11/11/11, isn't it?

How about young people who celebrate their 11th birthday today--11 on 11/11/11.

That makes the day really special for them.

How am I going to celebrate today?

Other than writing about the people that today's holiday is all about, tonight, I am taking my wife out to dinner to celebrate her birthday, which of course was yesterday.

So I guess I am killing three birds with one stone, celebrating both a holiday that I don't have off for, but should, writing about the people that the holiday is celebrating, and celebrating my wife's birthday.

11/11/11 ... somehow, I am happy there won't be a 22/22/22 in my future.

Have a good holiday, and remember our fighting forces. That is what today is really all about.

Rant #1,961: Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Since this is Rant No. 1,961, I thought I would look at the year 1961, and since this week is "The Subway Series" in the New York Metropolitan Area, I thought I would stick with baseball for at least another Rant.

I was four years old in 1961, way too young to understand what was happening at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, although I do vaguely remember my father calling me over to the TV while Yankee games were on, and me whining and running away as I refused to see what all the commotion was about on TV.

In 1961, Yankees Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle set their sights on a then long-held record, that being Babe Ruth's 60 home runs in a season.

The two dueled down to the dwindling days of another pennant-winning and World Series-winning season, and were neck and neck until Mantle's injury curse caught up to him, and he had to bow out with "just" 54 homers.

The stage was Maris', and he took hold of that stage and yes, he hit his 61st home run into old Yankee Stadium's righfield porch, made a celebrity out of the ball's catcher, Sal Galante, and all that Maris took that magic season to hit those homers was a steady stream of nicotine from cigarettes.

Maris and Mantle were teammates, but Mantle was the fans' favorite to top the Babe. Maris was still considered something of an outsider, coming to the Yankees in a trade just a season before.

Maris had proven to be one of the game's most potent hitters, was an excellent outfielder, and did all the right things, but Mantle was the people's choice.

Not only did Maris smoke a lot of cigarettes during this chase of the Babe, but he also reportedly lost clumps of hair during the season related to the nerves he had as he climbed the ladder approaching the record.

He became a major focus of media during that period, and even without the social media that we have today, this quiet, soft spoken guy was pummeled by every newspaper, TV station, and radio station for comments and quotes about his most recent homer, his pursuit of the record, and just about everything else.

Once getting the record, it simply wasn't enough for baseball to celebrate such an accomplishment; it was ridiculed, because Babe hit his 60 in a 154 game season, Maris hit is 61 in a 162 game season, and actually "only" hit 59 in the 154th game of the season. It took him the full 162 games to get to 61.

The argument was a ridiculous one, but baseball purists--including then baseball commissioner Ford Frick--continued to believe that Ruth still had the record, and that Maris' 61 needed an asterisk to show that yes, he had the record but it did not stand up to what the Babe did.

Many of those purists were older, so they never had to contend with the steroid enhanced home run totals of players like Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire.

What would they have said to those home run totals?

One can only wonder.

Maris had quite a nice career, winning the MVP twice, but he never approached that season again statistics wise.

He is not in the Hall of Fame, he really should be, and maybe one day, he will get his place in that shrine.

For years, the Yankees did not know how to honor him, and he stayed away from the Stadium. In recent years, since his death, the Yankees have reached out to the family, and they have reached some type of balance. He has a plaque in Monument Park, and his number 9 has been retired.

Whatever the case, for one season, he could say that he did one better than Babe Ruth, unquestionably the greatest baseball player of all time.

In his later years, Maris even questioned himself, often saying it would have been better off if he never broke the record.

However, that record is something that his family can be proud of, and be proud of over the generations.

One can only hope that while Maris was alive--he died at just 51 years of age in 1985--he could be proud of his accomplishment, too.