Rant #3,334: Brand New Key

I could have used one of those wishes I talked about yesterday.

Thursday was not a good day for me, and it had nothing to do with my bad leg.

Now that I am driving again, I am taking over some of the chores that I used to have, including driving my son back and forth to work.

So on Thursday morning, when the time came, I grabbed my crutches and went down the stairs to do just that.

I went into the car--which I am learning to do without hurting myself--and I put my key in the ignition--

And the key would not turn.

I could get the key in and out of the ignition, but I could not turn the key at all, so I could not get the car going.

I did not know what to do. My wife had already gone to the gym, my son needed to get to work, I had a physical therapy appointment later in the morning ... I panicked, period.

But I had my wits about me, as I postponed my appointment with physical therapy to today, and I called the car dealer to not only arrange for a tow but also get a new key ... which, in total, would have cost me about $500 when all was said and done.

But I had no car. I could not drive my car, putting me in the same boat as I was in when I could not drive during the past six months.

Only this time, it was mechanical rather than physical.

Let me backtrack ... my wife has driven my car many times during the past six months, and she even brought it in for an oil change a few weeks ago.

She has complained to me that the car's key fob is broken, as the key part of the fob often disengages from the rest of the fob, and if you aren't careful, this sliver of metal can be lost very easily.

It even happened to me when I first drove the car earlier this week. The key fell on the floor, but I easily retrieved it.

So what did I do?

I used some glue to better adhere the key to the rest of the fob.

It worked. The key wouldn't budge from the fob, and everything looked hunky dory.

But then I got into the car--

And nothing.

I was so depressed, starting to talk to myself and making myself nuts as I contacted the various parties that I mentioned earlier.

My wife arrived home, and she took my son to work, about a half hour late.

After about an hour's wait, the tow truck driver came, and asked to see the fob and the key.

He asked me if anything fell out of the fob when the key continually fell out during the past six months, and I told him that I didn't think so.

Then he asked me if he could break open the fob, and I gave him the OK.

I thought he meant literally break it open, like with a hammer, because no matter what I did, I could not open the fob after I used the glue.

He was able to get it open with his fingers ... and he told me that a piece of the mechanism had moved ever so slightly out of place, a piece that enables the key to snap into the fob when not at use--a feature I honestly never use.

He positioned the key in the fob, evidently repositioning this little piece that had been out of place, and lo and behold, the key worked!

He told me to "jiggle it" a little bit, and I did just that, and the key worked.

I later picked up my son and called the dealer to cancel my order of a new key ... although I am looking to buy an after-market key, which will cost me about half of what a new key would cost.

What an absolutely horrid morning I had ... but I just saved about $500, so I guess it could have been much worse.

The shackles returned for a brief spell but are off if me once again, and that is a real key at getting me better as soon as possible.

Have a great weekend, and I will speak to you again on Monday.

Rant #3,333: Three Wishes

Yesterday went just fine.

I took my son to work, drove to the local pharmacy to get my cholesterol medication, and yes, I did go to my local record store, where I had my very own Record Store Day, using the gift certificate my wife got me for Hanukkah to pick up some great items.

And later, I picked my son up from work, and my wife came along for the ride.

I am kind of sore, but I was able to do it all.

So with this success behind me, i know i am figuratively and literally on the right road.

I am in a pretty good mood right now, and I fell like being a little bit whimsical.

Let's dream a little bit ...

So, if i had a magic lamp and a genie came out of it, I guess he would reward me with the proverbial three wishes.

Of course, my first wish would go for world peace, my second would go for the health of my family, and yes, I would most definitely ask for an uptick in my finances.

Maybe I would be cagey about it, and use one of my three wishes to ask for an unlimited amount of future wishes.

So, if I received the extra wishes, what would I wish for based on everything going on in today's bizarro world that we live in?

As I said earlier, one of my original wishes went for world peace, so that would take care of both the Israel-Hamas and Ukraine-Russia conflicts, and all other conflicts.

So what would I wish for with my new wishes?

I would certainly wish for those saying that women's basketball star Caitlin Clark is being underpaid as the WNBA's first round draft pick, as compared to what the male first round draft choices in the NBA get paid, to just shut up.

It is like comparing apples and oranges.

The NBA has been around for 75 years, is well established and financed, and has yearly revenues that dwarf those in the WNBA--a much less established league--by billions and billions of dollars.

The NBA finances the WNBA, and the thought of these idiots is that the pay disparity is unfair, and that the NBA should kick in many millions of dollars to erase that disparity.

Why?

Sorry, the best WNBA team simply cannot draw as many fans, and as much advertiser interest, as the lesser NBA teams, and sorry to these naysayers, but the NBA is far more popular than the WNBA will ever be, so there is going to be a pay disparity today and into the future.

These dummies looking for a better deal for Clark include every woke commentator on TV and even President Biden, who you would think would have more important things on his mind than worrying about whether Clark can survive on her "measley" salary, one that dwarfs what most people make--like many blue- and white-collar workers--by plenty.

So I would wish that these people would close their mouths, and understand that except for just a few sports--like tennis--women will probably not be on a pay parity with men because the economics between the leagues are very, very different.

And then I would use another wish to shut up these pro-Palestine protesters, and the schools that seem to support this idiotic behavior.

(Of course, if one of my first wishes was to eradicate all wars, perhaps these dummies wouldn't have a chance to crawl out of the woodwork with their anti-Israel and anti-Semitic views, but--)

Yesterday, the latest round of Congressional hearings taking on Ivy League schools for their anti-Israel and anti-Semitic tendencies took.on Columbia University and its president, who just happens to have an Arabic background.

That doesn't make her a bad person, and when she was asked, like the other Ivy League presidents who testified before her were, about whether calling for the genocide of Jews violated the school's code of conduct, she and other Columbia representatives vehemently said thst it definitely did--unlike the drivel her predecessors said in response to the question.

But later, when asked if a vehemently anti-Israel and anti-Semitic Columbia professor would be fired because he thought the October 7 attack by Hamas on Israel was a joyous occasion, the mush returned--

"Ah ... umm ... I ... well ... yes," Columbia's president said.

As of this writing, this professor remains employed by the Ivy League school.

My wish would be that anyone supporting terrorists, and proudly sporting anti-Semitic and anti-Israel beliefs, would see the light and just shut up.

On a lighter note ...

This fascination some of us have for everything related to Taylor Swift ... I would wish that they would go away too.

I mean, this infatuation with the singer has just gotten crazy.

In fact, with Passover beginning next week, this craziness has even encompassed this great holiday, where there is actually a "Taylor Swift Passover Hagaddah" being pedaled around by people who evidently are as stupid in the brain as even the very thought of such an absurd thing sounds.

Swift isn't Jewish herself, which makes the whole thing sacreligious to begin with. But even if she were, this is completely idiotic, a way to make a buck that goes against everything Passover represents.

So i would wish for these "Swiftees"--who don't appear to be too swift at all--to wise up a bit.

And lastly, I would wish that The Ranting and Raving Blog goes on for at least 3,333 more entries--

And unfortunately, this last wish is the only wish that, in the real world we live in, has even a chance of coming to fruition.

Rant #3,332: Drive

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!

This was the cryptic message I put up on Facebook yesterday.

Some people got it, some didn't, but if you read this Blog with any regularity, you know what "I DID IT!" means--

After nearly six months, I was able to get into my car and after doing that, I was able to drive my car.

This is a major accomplishment for me.

Roughly four months after my second left leg surgery, I am back in my saddle again.

And it felt soooooooo good!

With my wife acompanying me just to make sure, I drove the total 10-plus mile round trip there and back to my son's workplace without any incident.

This was after I practiced in the morning getting in and out of the car.

My car is kind of low to the floor, so using my crutches, I got to the door, opened it, and kind of swiveled into my seat.

Later, I got out of the car about the same way.

I had to push the seat as far back as it could go to do this, and for someone who prefers driving with my seat nearer to the steering wheel, it is a bit different to drive, but I adapted pretty swiftly.

I also have a "running board" built into the car, which not all makes and models of this car brand have, but I was able to use it to my advantage.

The running board is built into the floor, and is made so that your left foot is slightly elevated, maybe at a 40-degree angle.

It is quite handy on long car drives, because elevating your left foot even slightly makes these trips more comfortable.

And for me in my current condition, the slight elevation is kind of soothing to my left leg.

I also slightly push off of this thing to get out of the car, so it is "good to go" and "good to get out" of the car.

I had to refamiliarize myself with all the controls my car has; I also had to refamiliarize myself with the feel of the brake and accelerator.

My depth perception remains intact, so I was happy to say that that was not a problem.

All in all, even though I drove just a little more than 10 miles, it was as memorable a drive I have ever had, right up there with the first time I ever drove with my full license, in November 1974.

And remember, I had said from day one that I wanted to drive by my birthday on April 28, so I actually beat that goal by 12 days!

Look, I am not kidding myself.

I have a long way to go in my rehabilitation, with the original.prognostication of seven-to-12 months pretty much on target.

So while I am able to drive now, I probably have eight months--at the very least--to kick this thing through the goal posts.

As for driving, today will be the next test, as in the morning, I will be driving alone after I drop my son off at work.

I don't think I will have any problems, but it is another hurdle that I have to jump over.

There is still driving at night, driving in inclement weather, and driving longer distances, but I firmly believe that once you learn to drive, you never forget how to do it, no matter what the layoff is.

Now that I am behind the wheel, the shackles that have been restricting me are fully off.

And besides me, who is most pleased with this latest development?

My wife, of course!

If I had shackles on me, then she had a millstone around her neck, because for the past six months, she was forced to do 100 percent of the driving in my family.

Now, I can take that burden away from her, freeing her up to relax a wee bit.

And, of course, she--and our son--have supported me throughout this nightmare, so she is happy that I am doing better ... not quite there, but getting there by the day.

So all told, yesterday was a memorable day for me, today will continue that good feeling I have, and the days ahead are so bright that I have to wear shades ...

I am finally firmly planted in the driver's seat, and from that vantage point, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And it's about time.

Rant #3,331: On the Road Again

If you read yesterday's Rant, you know that I am finally rid of my leg brace.

I don't have to wear it anymore ... and the future at least looks somewhat promising for me now that I have lost that restriction.

Today is another huge day in my rehabilitation from this horrible injury that I suffered six months ago.

Today, without the brace restricting my movement, I am going to try to get in and out of my car.

If I can accomplish this relatively comfortably, I can finally get back to driving again.

As I have said time and time again, this is a major part of my rehab process, mentally, physically and emotionally.

If I can accomplish this, I will finally be free of the shackles that have pretty much chained me to our residence for the past six months.

Yes. I still have many months to go before I am whole, but boy, this would be a major step in the right direction!

I can finally do something to help out my family. And it will unburden my wife from doing all the driving, as she has been doing since day one of this nightmare.

I have been driving since I was 15 years of age, and I received my actual driver's license in November 1974, so this year marks 50 years of driving on my life's resume.

I have driven near and far, just around the corner to 1,200 miles--and back again--to Florida.

I love to drive, certainly inheriting that trait from my father, who was driving since he was 12 years of age--illegally, of course--and drove for more than 50 years as a licensed New York City medallion cab driver in New York City.

He loved to drive; in fact, a month before he passed away, I was in the car with him when he drove his last mile. 

And he drove just fine.

I definitely inherited the love of driving from him, and getting behind the wheel again is a major part of me getting better.

As I have said  numerous times, my goal is to be driving by my birthday on April 28.

If I can accomplish that goal, that will be terrific.

If not, I will do it, sooner than later.

I need to be able to drive again, but if I can't do it now, then I will do it within time.

I might be a bit disappointed if I can't do it right away.  

But it won't take away my determination to get back in the saddle again.

I had a great physical therapy session yesterday, actually making a breakthrough on the stationary bike--one full revolution around--that had the whole place cheering me on.

i did it six or seven times--not consecutively, but I will take what I can get.

I also walked with a cane--rather than crutches or walker for the first time--part if the regimen to get me to learn how to walk correctly once again.

These are all things that are part if my rehab, but even if i can somehow get behind the wheel again, i know i still have quite a way to go before i return to full normalcy.

But again, at this point, i will take what i can get.

Beggars can't be choosers, as the old saying goes.

And if you are wondering what I did with my brace ... I won't discard it.

I will keep it ... just in case something unforeseeable happens--

But more importantly,ai will keep it as a reminder for me of where I was, where I have been, and where I am at the moment I see this thing again, today, tomorrow and into the future.

For six months, this was part of my body.

Just because I don't need to wear it anymore doesn't mean it will ever leave me.

That being said, it is time to look ahead.

I am not going to say "eat my dust" just yet--even though I just said it--but today might just be one of the most important days of my more than 24,000 days of life.

Drive, he said ... I hope.

Rant #3,330: Going To a Go-Go

Today is a big day in my rehabilitation.

It is the final day that I have to wear my leg brace on my injured left leg.

I wore that brace continually for many months, because my injury was so severe, that my doctor felt that I needed the stability the brace gave me.

And I had the brace on when I tore my quad the second time, so it could only protect me so much.

But several weeks ago, my doctor allowed me to not wear the brace when I was at home, but I still had to wear it when I went outside.

I wore that brace continually for such a long time that even when the brace is not on, it still feels like I am wearing it.

It was on me so long that it felt like part of my body.

So after today, that brace is history, barring anything unforeseen.

Now beyond the obvious, what does not being restricted by the brace mean?

Well, first off, it means that I am getting better by the day, which is one of my main rehab goals.

Second, it brings me closer to the goal that I have had since day one of this nightmare--to not only get back to where I was before these horrific things happened to me, but on that path to normalcy, to be able to drive my car once again.

Being able to drive is paramount in my recovery. I won't basically be restricted to the house anymore. 

I will be able to do errands--like drive my son back and forth to work--and it will provide me a bit of freedom, which is very important--

Equally as important, it will help out my family--primarily my wife, who has been burdened with all the driving for the past six months.

Now, it isn't as easy as just going into the car and taking off into the sunset.

I still am not very steady on my feet, and I still need to use crutches and my walker to get around.

I have a very serious leg injury, and the very first thing I am going to have to do is to see if I can get in and out of the car.

If I can do that, then driving, even after six months of not doing so, should be a cinch.

So the very first thing I have to do is to practice getting in and out of the car, with my crutches with me in the car, helping me to get in and out of the vehicle.

If I can do that with as little discomfort as possible, that will be great!

But if I can't do it just yet, then I will push everything back for as long as it takes for me to be able to to this.

I want to do this so badly, and I have said from day one that one of my goals to my recovery is that I want to be driving by my 67th birthday on April 28.

I have been given the go-ahead by my doctor, so if it happens, it happens. 

If not by then, then it will happen sooner or later.

I have barely seen my car since I had the first accident.

I have not been in my car in six months.

Just the other day, for the first time since the accident, I went outside with my wife, opened up the car's trunk, saw what I put into it in the midst of moving to our new residence, and took these things up to our apartment, six months after the fact.

One benefit that i have--if there is one with a leg injury like I experienced--is that I injured my left leg rather than my right one.

Since you drive with the right foot, it might be easier for me to drive, since i will be using my normal foot to drive.

Others have told me that they have been able to drive even with the right leg injured, some using their left foot rather than the right one to drive.

Others have told me that they had no choice, and drove with the right foot even though the leg was injured.

I think anyone with these problems must be looked at as an individual case, so I am going to have to see if I can do this right away, or if I am going to have to put off this goal until I can safely and comfortably do this.

It is something I really, really want and need to do, and it will be the best birthday gift I can give myself if I can accomplish this.

So today is a very important day, and tomorrow--when I start trying to get in and out if the car--it will be an even more important day.

If I can do this, I will figuratively, and literally, be on the road to full recovery--

And I have the inner drive to get this done.

Rant #3,329: The End of the Road

Yes, we all heard the news yesterday morning.

O.J. Simpson has passed away after battling prostate cancer.

If I let it go at that, I guess I could probably get away with it, because really, the less said about him, the better.

But way back in Rant #1,943, dated July 21, 2017, I had plenty to say about Simpson.

So rather than wrack my brain, trying to figure out what more i could say about him, I thought I would rerun this Rant, because my feelings haven't changed at all.

So, here is what I had to say about Simpson nearly seven years ago.

"Yesterday, O.J. Simpson was granted parole after serving nine years of a possible 30-year sentence for armed robbery and assault.

His exemplary behavior behind bars, as well as him finding God and taking anger management classes, as well as testimony from even one of the people who he robbed, convinced officials that he had served his time and was ready for release.

He said he plans to go to Florida to live with his family.

The Simpson saga is just that, and Hollywood could never write a script like this.

He went from just another street kid to a college football star to an NFL Hall of Famer to a celebrity to a possible felon, and then to a real felon, in seemingly one fell swoop, and if this sentence that I wrote is long and convoluted, it isn't as much as Simpson's life has been.

The world was seemingly captivated when a jury found Simpson not guilty of the murder of his wife and one of her supposed friends, and all the hoopla surrounding that trial certainly made it one of the great cases of all time, one that is still being looked at, without any firm conclusions.

He was convicted in a civil trial, but in the real eyes of justice, he was innocent.

Simpson was one of the most likable people in the country in the 1970s and 1980s. He turned his prowess on the gridiron to success in the entertainment field, and he starred in numerous movies, TV shows and commercials playing off that likable personality he supposedly had.

But what we saw on the screen was, evidently, not the real Simpson, who had a troubled childhood generated by a troubled family, and he was a person with anger management issues that he kept well hidden from the general public.

And then came the high-speed road chase, the seemingly interminable trial, which was broadcast daily, and the aftermath, when he acted like he was the victim, not those who he had been accused of murdering.

Remember the pronouncements that he, himself was "looking for the killer" as he patrolled the golf links across the country?

But then Simpson got wrapped up in his own bravado, attacking memorabilia dealers who he believed had stolen memorabilia from him, and rather than go to the authorities with this belief, and challenge it legally, he took matters into his own hands, and he wound up in jail for his actions, with a sentence that if carried out to length, could have found him staying in prison into his 90s.

Now 70, Simpson has repented, said what he did was wrong, and he will be out of the pokey as early as this fall.

You can look at the Simpson saga several different ways, and whether you believe he had nothing to do with the earlier murders, they had nothing to do with the sentence, and the eventual parole, he received in the latest incident.

The guy has repented, served his time, and like any other inmate, he was due his due process, and he got what the law says he should have gotten.

My advice to Simpson is to keep his nose clean for the rest of his life.

When he gets out, don't galavant to local nightclubs or hot spots, because it will give the public the complete wrong impression of him, or at least the wrong impression that he should be giving out.

Lay low, stay with your family, enjoy being able to breathe again.

Stay with the values you learned in prison, and don't make the whole thing into a canard."

And that is that.

I really can't think of anything more to say about him, but according to accounts I heard about him from some people who knew him well, his final days were not good as the cancer ate away at him.

I am sure that some people would say "good riddance," and that he deserved his fate. 

i will simply leave it at that.

Speak to you again on Monday. Have a good weekend.

Rant #3,328: (Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman

We live in a crazy world, where up is down and down is up, with the seriousness of this situation horribly perpetuated by what I spoke about yesterday.

But today, we are going to look at the other end of this topsy-turvy angle ... and maybe have a little fun talking about what amounts to nonsense, woven into current events.

We have a "migrant" crisis in our country, where illegal aliens supposedly seeking asylum coming here in droves without much being done to stem the flow.

I was reading the newspaper yesterday morning, and I came across an article reporting that a copy of Action Comics #1--the debut of the character of Superman, the greatest superhero of them all--sold for a record $6 million to an anonymous buyer.

Well, as a former comic book collector--who sold my remaining collection this past summer when my family was in the process of changing residences--this completely boggled my mind ... remember, this comic book originally sold new for a dime.

Anyway, the newspaper also had an article or two about the migrant crisis, and I simply put two and two together, and this question arose:

"Is Superman an illegal alien?

And then, "Is Clark Kent a U.S. citizen?"

First things first, although both can kind of be answered in one fell swoop.

Superman is the ultimate immigrant, not coming from another country, but another solar system.

He came here as a baby when his planet of origin, Krypton, pretty much imploded in the sky.

He was found by Jonathan and Martha Kent--who go with other names depending on where you look--rescued from a miniature spacecraft that his blood parents--Lara and Jor-El--who sent their only child in to to save him from certain death.

Baby Kal-El was raised as the Kents' own child--again, in some accounts the baby was first put in an orphanage before the Kents legally adopted him--and Clark was brought up to understand thst he had a gift, one which he could use to benefit mankind.

Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the team that created Superman, said when they were alive that Superman's very creation paralleled the Jews coming to America in the early part of the 20th century, but again ... is Superman an illegal alien?

No. He is not.

In the comics, he became a universal symbol.of truth and justice, "and the American way," as the TV show has reminded us for the past 70 years.

His stories have been translated into many languages, his exploits are not just national, but international and interplanetary, and he is sort of in a category by himself: a citizen of the world ... so not only is he a citizen of the United States--although in more recent iterations of the character, he has renounced his American citizenry, but that's another story for another time--he is also a citizen of every European country, and really, every country on this planet.

So yes, Superman is an alien, but not an illegal one.

The second question intertwines with the first, and is a bit more complicated, although the number of words to describe my feelings on this subject will be much less, but each word will carry more weight.

As I said, I think Superman is recognized as a "world citizen " but Clsrk Kent is another matter.

I think that way back when, the Kents could have gotten away with saying that Clark was their natural born child, because especially in the rural areas of the country, hospital births were not as prominent as they were in bigger cities.

And the part of Smallville they lived in seemed to be very rural and secluded, so they could get away with it ... and remember, Social Security did not exist when the character was created in 1938, so the Kents did not have to bother with that facet of citizenry.

(I assume that Kent needed a Social Security number when that facet of our lives came upon us in 1940, when payments began and all Americans needed their own unique number, so he got his when, let's say, my parents and all citizens got their numbers.)

Thus, because of his parents' necessary white lies, Clark essentially became a citizen the moment he came to earth and the Kents found him.

This scenario could not happen in today's world, but way back when, it certainly could.

And if you go with the storyline that Clark was initially adopted by the Kents from an orphanage, then the Kents went through all the legal procedures to adopt this foundling, cementing the fact that he is a U.S. citizen.

I am sure that others might have different opinions on this, but I just provided you with my own reasons for thinking the way I think.

Now again, we are talking about a completely fictitious character who never actually lived.

But even though the character is popular around the planet, and thought of as a citizen of the world, Superman represents America ... the best of this country.

Although we are talking about a completely fictitious character, that character, in its own way, is George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson and Martin Luther King, all rolled into one.

So finally, is Superman an illegal alien?

No.

Is Clark Kent a U.S. citizen?

Yes.

And my feelings on this are, as they say, "more powerful than a locomotive ... ."